Listening to: suede - beautiful ones.

After my admission things had gone back to normal, until one morning I had finally had enough of Harlen sulking about, he had not said anything but I knew exactly what it was he was acting all strange about. and I had bought them, two rings, they had been in my pocket ever since, not sure if I even had the courage to actually present them to him, I wasn't sure I was ready for this at all, and I was not sure he would even accept it, but on the other hand, if I wanted to keep Harlen by my side, I had to do something. and that was the reason why I decided to do something this morning.

After we had gotten dressed I walked out into the kitchen and stood behind Harlen who did the dishes, I rested my chin on his shoulder and whispered. "Hey handsome, how about leaving those dishes alone for a second."

He took his hands up from the warm water, and shook them. "What now?" He said trying to sound annoyed, but I could hear the smile in his voice even if I couldn't see it.

"I have something for you," I whispered sweetly, "So close your eyes and turn around."

"Its nothing gross is it?" He asked with a nervous laughter.

"Since when have I given you something gross?" I chuckled and slowly turned him around so he faced me, with his eyes closed. I got down on my knees and took a deep breath, "Open your eyes," I said softly.

He opened his eyes and looked down at me, first confused, but as I produced a little black box and held it out towards him, confusion was exchanged with disbelief "Ca-Cain?" he whispered.

I smiled and flipped the box open, "Harlen, I have been a complete idiot, I know that, but would you.." The words got caught in my throat, and I swallowed hard as I noticed Harlen slowly reach out for the box, as were it a phantom. "...Marry me," I said with a odd voice, not sure if I was nervous or excited or maybe both. But as he took one of the rings from the box and looked at it with wide eyes, he nodded.

"Yea," he said, mesmerized by the ring's sparkle "Are you serious?" He whispered as he tore the gaze from the ring and looked down at me.

"Of course I'm serious," I said, frowning a little, had I really been that much of an asshole? That he would think that I made fun of something this serious?

He accepted though, and much to my amusement he was a total kid about it.

And later that same evening he suddenly grabbed a hold of me after we had been fooling about in the Jacuzzi for a while, "Cain," he said "Lets go out, I haven't been out in ages, and I would like to.. you know go out with you, I don't think we ever did that."

And he was right, we had in fact never gone out, we had never dated or anything, this had just kinda evolved differently. I really enjoyed seeing him this happy, that sweet smile of his was not only on his lips, but seemed to shine from his eyes as well, even the way he walked seemed different. so I nodded "If that is what you want my love, then we go out."

Two hours later we were at this disco that Harlen said he had never been at, and honestly neither had I, not that it was a good disco, it was pretty average, but it was new, and that meant that there was quite a lot of people anyways.

Harlen ordered drinks as I stood and looked on the dance floor, it had been such a long time since I had been at a party that I wasn't even sure how the hell to behave anymore. "See anyone you know?" Harlen asked.

"Nah," I said.

"Come on Cain, let's dance," He grinned as he handed me a drink and hauled me off to the dance floor.

"We should have done this long ago," Harlen said, yelling to drown out the music.

I nodded, truth is it actually was pretty fun, and I could see why he had been so popular at the clubs, Harlen was an excellent dancer, which I was absolutely not, but he didn't seem to care.

After a few more drinks, I decided that I had to do what I had thought about ever since we had entered that damn disco, so I grabbed him and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

"What are you doing?" he laughed "we're in public and all."

"So?" I grinned back, as I kissed him once more.

"I didn't think you were one to flaunt it, that's all," he said, wrapping his own arms around my waist.

"With you, I do," I mumbled back "I want the world to know you're mine." And then he actually blushed, I smiled as he attempted to hide it. I didn't know why I had been so long in the process, why I had not seen his love before. gods know it would have saved me from a lot of heartache, if I had only known how much I in love I would be, if I would only just give in.

As we stopped dancing and went for a drink, I ran into this guy at the bar "You're Cain, right?" he said, and I turned around and looked at him, I had never seen him before, and I must have looked like a complete idiot because the guy grinned "You are, aren't you?"

"I am," I finally said, quickly looking over my shoulder to see where the hell Harlen was.

"I am Alexander," he said and offered me his hand "Early's.. uhm friend"

"Oh, oh!" I gasped and took his hand eagerly "I have heard about you," I looked at him closely, he sure was a pretty young man, but why Early had chosen him, I didn't quite understand, Early could have his pick of guys, so why he would go for this rugged type was beyond my comprehension. "Is he here?" I asked, secretly hoping that he weren't because I was not ready for Harlen's pissy fit if he were.

"No he's home," Alexander said "You should call him you know, I think he misses you.. you guys were best buds or something, right?"

"Or something," I said with a polite smile, looking down at my hand with the new ring on it, and smiled again, yes I had done the right thing.

"Nice ring there," Alexander said.

"Yea," I said looking directly up at him again, he looked a little sad, just like I had imagined myself had I stayed at Early's side, and for the first time I was glad, Early's kisses might be the sweetest, but it was nothing compared to the heartache he brought along with him.

By the time I had finished talking to Alexander, I noticed that Harlen was out dancing with somebody, so I sat down at the bar, and to my surprise someone sat down next to me and said "Give me what he's having," I turned my head and looked directly at Gladys.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I said, surprised to say the least.

"Drinking," Gladys said smiling at me, "Having a good time."

"What about Frederick? and Tyson?" I asked, taking a sip of my drink.

"I left your father," Gladys said with a firm voice, and she could just as well have kicked me in the face, that would have had the same impact.

"You did what?" I asked like a fool.

"Left him," Gladys said. "I moved in with Dorian, you know the chief of police."

"Oh yea I know him," I said with slight shake of my head. "Why the hell did you do something that dumb?" What a wonderful little dysfunctional family I had.

"He's Tyson's dad, you know that.. and well your father and I we didn't exactly.. uhm you know" She said.

This is where I should have told her I had been engaged, but I didn't, I just let her sit there and tell me about my dad not being able to get it up, and how much of a stud Dorian was, pretending I had no idea about it.

When Gladys left, I had apparently lost Harlen, and being drunk myself, I just stayed at the bar and kept on drinking myself into a stupor, the bartender tried to strike up conversation, but I wasn't arsed with answering her.

When I finally did call a taxi and go home, I continued to drink and listen to music, forgetting completely that Harlen might be home, I didn't even check.

The next morning Harlen was back to his silent mode, he made us breakfast, but didn't speak. I poked my pancake and finally croaked "Where the hell did you go last night?"

"Well you were talking with anybody than me, and well I figured you didn't really wanted to be seen with me after all," He sulked, pushing his plate away.

"Don't be stupid, that woman at the bar was my freaking step mom," I argued, maybe a little too aggressive, I didn't really want to go into the whole Early thing. Harlen was about to say something, but then my cell rang, and I chose to answer it, leaving Harlen to his crap.

Harlen had apologized, and in fact the rest of the day had been nice, now I just had to tell him that it had been Liam who had called me. And so when we had a cup of coffee, I took his hand and looked him directly into his eyes "Harlen, baby.. Llisten, when I asked you to marry me, I also swore that I would never cheat on you" I said, seeing Harlen narrow his eyes in suspicion I knew I had started that conversation wrong. "Uhm well, that phone call this morning was Liam, you have to understand that he is a friend of mine.. and.."

"I don't have to understand anything" Harlen growled and pulled his hand back.

I swallowed and nodded "Sure, but he called me because Dawn had kicked him out after an argument.. and.."

"..And?" Harlen whispered, tapping his foot on the floor in annoyance.

"And I told him he could come sleep on the couch," I finally admitted.

"What the hell?!" Harlen said eerily cold. "How could you do that?"

"He's my buddy!" I argued, "I couldn't just leave him standing out there when he needed a favour."

"You know what mister VonRenault?" He spat as he turned in his seat, looking angrily at me "The fucking hotel room 'is' invented you know, he didn't have to come here, you 'wanted' him to come here man, just as he wanted to come."

Truth is I had not even thought about it, that Liam could just go to a hotel, he had sounded so distressed when I had talked to him that I hadn't even thought twice before agreeing. ".. It's not like that" I said with a weak voice, as Harlen stood from the chair I knew I would never be able to convince him otherwise.

"Whatever," Harlen hissed "If he's coming over, I'm leaving."

"Don't," I said turning in my chair trying to grab Harlen before he walked past me, but he pulled his arm away.

Liam came in the middle of dinner, and even I had to agree to the smart planning that man had. He didn't hug me as I opened the door, but politely gave me the hand and smiled "Thank you man," he said as I pointed in the direction of the kitchen. "You really saved me."

I disappeared as Harlen came and sat next to Liam, pretending to need the bathroom, but I had my ear against the door and listened in to whatever they said in the living room. "Is that what I think it is," Liam asked.

"Yes," Harlen answered in a clipped voice.

"Wow, congratulations," Liam chuckled "Finally caught him good, didn't you?"

"What the hell would you know?" Harlen sneered.

"Hey man, I didn't mean it that way, I am happy for you both and all," Liam hurried to add.

"Sure you are," Harlen said and apparently stood up since the stool screeched against the floor. "Touch him and I will fucking kill you," Harlen hissed before he with angry strides walked to the front door and slammed it hard. not until then did I come out from the bathroom, feeling like a coward and a cheat.

"I didn't mean to make trouble with you guys," Liam said.

"Don't worry about it," I said handing him a cup of coffee, it gave me a little strange feeling to be alone with him, looking into his eyes I remembered just how much in love I had been with him, and just how heartbroken I had been when I had found out he had jerked me around.

"So what's up with you and Dawn?" I said, leaning up against the kitchen desk.

"I don't know man, she's furious because she thinks I am cheating on her," Liam said, sipping his coffee.

"So are you?" I asked.

"No, I never wanted to cheat on her, but,.. you.. I..." he whispered.

"Don't go there," I said holding a hand up to tell him to shut up "I don't want to know man."

"That's right, you guys got engaged and all," he said and smiled as I blushed slightly. "I never took you for a marrying type, that's all."

"What the hell does that mean? did you really think I would be content with being the mistress for ever?" I sneered, not that I had intended to argue with him, but that just pissed me off.

"No.. yea.. I don't know," Liam said and smiled sadly "Maybe I did."

"Well, I'm not. and I am very glad that I have Harlen," I stated.

Suddenly tears welled up in Liam's eyes, and I put down my coffee and grabbed his shoulders, holding him tight "Don't worry Liam, if you didn't do anything.. I'm sure she will come around man, she loves you very much, y'know."

Liam nodded "She wants another kid, and I don't," he mumbled.

"So that's the issue huh?" I whispered.

Liam nodded again "And so I'm terrified of getting her pregnant, and so she thinks I'm getting it elsewhere."

"Why don't you just explain to her that you don't want another?" I asked, I didn't know much about girls, but I was sure that you could reason with them just the same.

"I did, but she wont listen," Liam said "she just argues that she's home all day, and that I am not there anyways, but... but.. " Liam whispered as he silently began to cry, "We cant' afford one more, and.. we already have two, I just understand what she wants with one more."

Then suddenly the phone rang, and both Liam and I both looked at it like it was possessed.. "Pick up dammit," I told him as I returned to my coffee.

"And tell her what?"

"What you just told me," I said smiling, maybe I had just solved it all.

"Hey babe," He said as he picked up the phone. "Yea I'm at a hotel," - "don't remember its name right now," - "Dawn, are you still angry? I 'swear' its the truth, I.. I.." - "I just don't want another kid, okay?" he yelled into the phone. "No, stop that shit woman, and listen to me for a change," - "you know what? we're not gonna discuss this now," he hissed and flipped the phone shut.

"that went well huh?" I said with a stupid expression on my face.

"Crap!" he cried, hiding his face in his hands.

As we turned in, I made sure I kept all my clothes on, and lay on top of the covers, it did feel a little strange to lay with Liam here in my bed, we had spend many hours here, but so had Harlen and I, and I could smell that the sheets still had a faint fragrance of Harlen which made me smile. I had definitely made the right decision.

TBC-