Well i am sorry for all the sky that appears in this and the next two chapters, but i only found out how to fix that with roof tiles for some days ago. and these pictures are older than that.. so here we go :)

~*~

I told Dorian that i would pay whatever was needed to set the person free of detention, but that i wouldent come down to the station. to my surprise Dorian laughed, and then my father was suddenly in the other end of the line.

"you passed the test, Cain" he said.

"what?" i said with a frown "what test, sir?"

"you proved yourself, and handled this well, and so i have a surprise for you son" Frederick said into the phone.

I cant claim that i understood what the hell went on, but i just nodded and said "thank you Frederick"

Later i found out that my father finally trusted me enough to buy me my own apartment, finally i was out of that horrid house, and no one to watch me over my shoulder anymore. i could start doing things my own way again, as a last warning my father made me aware that the apartment was his, and if i did not show up at work or get back to any bad habits he would make me move out, and if i was lucky -home again. but i had no intention of letting him down, i just wanted to be on my own.

The place was gigantic, but a really nice place. honestly then i had never seen an apartment this nice, it was heated and all! it even had a giant bathtub in a bathroom that was bigger than the rooms at the halfway house. i wanted to call somebody and tell them to come see my new place, but i didnt know anybody anymore, not anybody i wanted in my home atleast. and so i just sat down and waited for the furniture i had ordered to arrive. And then i used weeks on decorating and working, keeping to myself.

One day the doorbell rang, i had just gotten home from work, and for some reason i didnt think more of it when i opened, i should maybe have thought about who the hell would know that i lived here, but i didnt.

Colt bursted into my home, and started raving and ranting about what the hell i was thinking about. honestly i was very surprised at his outburst. and so i just looked at him and said "what the hell are you on about, man?"

"you have been seen with that other guy from your office" he hissed. "the junior chairman have seen you at a bar, in a compromising situation"

"so? since when was you or the junior chairman my mother?" i said, still completely clueless as to what he meant.

"do you have any idea how that is reflecting on me?" he finally yelled.

"excuse me?" i mumbled, trying to grasp the concept of this madness.

"I have been your friend for so many years that people are harassing me about it, making jokes about me and you, i cant have that happeneing, dont you understand? i can never get a miletary careere like my dad's with a rep like that"

"Lets see, you are pissed that i am into guys?" i asked, Colt nodded slowly, "See, that is just not your problem at all! infact its nobodys business but mine, and the guy i kissed." i sneered, "Id be happy to tell your army buds the truth, tho"

Colt blinked like i had hit him "dont you dare" he growled.

"if you want to control my private life, then i see no reason not to tell them that the only reason you and i never did it, was because you couldent deliver" I itched to slap him across his face, how dared he to come here to my own house and boss me around?

"Do that and.." he warned.

"and what?" i finally yelled "get out of my house! and dont you ever fucking come back here, and think you can interfeere in my personal matters"

"thats just it Cain, its personal, as in something you should keep to yourself, i dont see why you have to flaunt it across town" he said as he walked towards the door.

"i told you to leave" i yelled after him. And as the door slammed, i slumped down in a chair, and sighed heavily. I had thought that we were best friends once, what had happned to the Colt i had known? this was a completely different man.

The man in question, whom i had been at the bar with was Liam, he was a co worker from the office, when i saw him i thought i had never seen anything that pretty, and imagine my surprise as he stopped me in the photocopy room one night as we were working late, asking me out on a cup of coffee, which later became beer, and eventually a real date. Maybe he was really the one? after all this time with useless lovers, feeling lost and indifferent, then along came he, he was beautiful, passionate, had a good job and fitted my life like a glove.

There was only one thing, he would always leave late in the envening, when we had been going out for four months i had still never been to his place, and he had over slept over once, when i complained about that fact, he would just smile and say that his apartment was a mess, and if he didnt get his sleep he wouldent be able to work, he didnt sleep well in other peoples' beds. And i accepted that i really did, even if a little voice in the back of my mind told me that he had been sleeping fine the one time he had stayed.

One evening we had worked late, and had come back to my place to finish up, we had ordered chineese, taking a break from the paperwork, the doorbell rang.

I didnt react much, thinking that i didnt know anybody that would come here that late, to maybe they were just here to see th earlier tennant.

"arent you atleast gonna go check?" Liam said.

"alright" i sighed and put down my food, and walked towards the front door "But i dont know anybody who'd visit this late"

As i opened the door, i blinked comfused, thinking it was the dark on the repose that tricked me, but as a muddly voice said "Hi, remember me?" followed by a nervous smile and a little wave of his hand i smiled and nodded "Ofcourse i remember you Harlen" i said.

He stepped closer to the door "you said that i could always just come if i was in trouble, and uhm.. i kinda lost your phone number" Harlen raked a nerous hand through his hair "Or was that just something you said?"

I stepped inside and gestured for Harlen to follow, "Of course i meant it" i said "come in and have something to eat, and tell me whats wrong"

I walked over and sat down again, and Liam looked at me "who was it?" he asked.

"A kid i know, he's kinda bummed out and needs to sleep on the couch some days i guess" I said truthfully. I had never really told Liam about my past, not other than i had beed a teen as i had seen my dad the first time, and that was the reason for our pretty cool relationship, and of course the fact that my mom was not Frederick's wife, and that she'd never been it either.

"ah" Liam grinned and nodded. "good, because i had planned to use the bed tonight"

"really?" i said, blushing slightly "you are staying tonight"?

"I am" Liam smiled a naughty little smile. "is that ok?"

"Jerk" i grinned, reaching over to caress his cheek tenderly.

"uh hey" i heard Harlen say next to me, and i pulled my hand back.

"Hey, hungry?" i asked, pushing some take out his way. he grabbed it and ate like nothing else. "This is Liam" i said, pointing at Liam with the chopsticks. "and Liam, this is Harlen" i said pointing at the eating kid.

they looked at eachother and nodded. strangely enough i felt a silent hostility that i didnt understand, but i ignored it writing it off to the fact that Harlen would trust very few people, and properly had the same experience with grown ups as i had when i was his age.

As promised, Liam stayed after we ate, all of us watched tv. and when Harlen fell asleep i fetched a blanket for him, and leaned in to whisper in Liam's ear. "come take a bath with me"

Liams face lit up in a smile "sounds great" he whispered back.

After the bath, i tip toed to the kitchen to get something, when i felt hands on my shoulders, whirling me around, only to find myself in a tight embrace. "Not here man" i whispered, but i didnt fight the embrace or the following kiss.

"why not? i wasnt aware there was restrictions to showing your affection in this house" he whispered teasingly.

"Harlen is sleeping on the couch, you dont want to wake him man" i whispered in defence.

Liam grinned and nodded, grabbing my wrist and hauling me off to the bedroom, i hoped i didnt wake Harlen as i giggled like a idiot.

Afterwards, the sound of my own voice rang in my ears, painfully aware that we had properly been really loud, and my bedroom door had no actual door in it. Liam seemed to know why i was a little off, and he snuggled up to me "dont worry sweetie, its nothing he havent heard before"

"i guess you are right" i whispered back, but i still felt bad about it, "what was up with that me Tarzan you Jane act anyways?"

"you seemed to enjoy it alot" Liam teased.

"Next time, i get to be Tarzan" i whispered with a giggle.

"you're on" Liam giggled back.

When i woke the next morning, i didnt find Liam at my side, but Harlen sitting on the side of the bed. I sat up pulling the covers tight around me "what the hell are you doing here?" i asked.

"I just wanted.. the sofa was cold and.." Harlen said

"Christ!" i exclaimed, deeply disturbed by the fact that i could have snuggled up to Harlen, thinking that he was Liam.

"I'm gonna make some coffee" he said getting off the bed, but i noticed that he looked me over, and i felt naked even with the cover wrapped around me.

"you do that" i said with a tired voice, before hurrying off to the bathroom.

But as Harlen had lived with me a week, this was a reoccuring thing, that i woke with him in the bed. and then one morning i stopped him as i was getting ready for work. "Look Harlen, it has to stop man, you cant just sneak into my bed"

He didnt look at me, but looked away, looking really dissapointed.

I crossed my arms to empathise my point. "Its ok you stay here, but you cant be in my bed, if the sofa is that unplesant, then we can go buy you something else to sleep on"

He nodded "that would be nice" he just whispered, but i could hear on his voice that he didnt really mean it.

I wanted to point out to him that he was a minor, and that this was the reason that i didnt want him anywhere near my bed, i was not like them other adults. But i somehow understood his reasoning too. "I am not throwing you out" i finally said, "I am not really that angry Harlen"

He looked up at me and nodded, smiling vaguely. "Can i get you some coffee?" he asked.

Baffled by his answer i just nodded, figuring he needed to feel helpful then.

Three days later i called Liam, he sounded a little strange that i call him, but i didnt care. "Liam you gotta come over" i said.

"I cant right now" he whispered in the other end. "later, around nine? is that alright with you?"

"sure" i said trying to sound chipper, but it sounded hallow and fake even to my ears, some day i would have to ask him about all this strange secrecy, if i was his boyfriend, then what was wrong with me calling? - Or maybe i werent? i looked at the phone before i put it back in my jacket pocket. maybe that was the fact indeed, maybe i thought i was his boyfriend, and it wasnt really like that, it was not like he had ever said i was his boyfriend at all. but he kept comming back, calling me 'sweeite' and 'love', bought me presents, and so i had just assumed that we were a couple.

Later Liam came over, and i told him about the whole Harlen issue. "Cain you stupid git" he laughed "he has a crush on you"

"on me? but" i said trying to piece it together, maybe Liam was right. Harlen had acted strange.

"no on his math teacher, you nerd. yes on you" Liam laughed harder. seeing my baffled expression, his laughing sobered, and he looked at me with a sweet smile "Why is that so hard to understand?"

I smiled back, feeling really stupid, but it had freaked me out that Harlen had acted strange, and i had never for a second thought that he could be in love with me, never once. i had thought he felt he needed to repay my kindness with the only thing he had, himself. but that was purely physical, love had never been in my thoughts.

"I understand him perfectly" he whispered, leaning in to kiss me on my cheek.

I should have asked him all the questions i had right there and then, but i didnt. i just wrapped my arms around him and felt like Liam was my anchor in a crazy sea, the voice of sanity when my mind was a jumbled mess of half emotions, and childish reasonings.

-1 year later -

Harlen had grown into his 18'th year, and besides our little bed issue, which had stopped just as quick as it had occured, we never had any trouble living under the same roof. it bugged me a little that he didnt go get himself a job, but at the same time i told myself that i knew how hard it was to be a part of the 'real' world when you have been outside it for so long, and so i decided to give him all the time he needed.

Harlan started dating, and going to clubs, he would frequelty bug me to go with him, but i even if i really wanted to go out, and get away from this apartment and its ghosts, i wouldent impose on Harlen's private life, truth was that Harlen had grown in to a very pretty young man, and i didnt want to attach myself to him too much besides our living arrengement, because i knew it was a matter of time before someone else claimed his time. and then i didnt want to be too hurt, even if i knew my life would be very empty without. in a long period i had not seen Liam at all, and if i had not had Harlen i would have been absolutely lost.

I even went by Early's mom's trailer, but the only one i met was Elvis Junior, who told me that their mother was on the hospital because of a broken collarbone, she had tripped down the metal stairs to the trailer and had fallen really bad. and then Early had left, as far as Junior knew he had went to live with some artist in the industrial end of town. he handed me a new number on Early, and i felt empty as ever as i left there, riding home in my car i cried for the first time in over a year. and not even Harlen's company would make me happy that day. true i had left Early, and had not given him any impression that id be back at all, but he knew me! he knew i would return, or had he really moved on and i hadent? i thought about tossing his number for a second, but then i just put it in the glovecompartment of the car. hoping i would forget it was there.

TBC

-Outtakes-

tada! - here i am

Get yourself a damn hotelroom guys!