author: azzy
title: King of my castle.
WIP: 4/5
summary: Haldir is summoned to Mirkwood to help Legolas regain his sanity, so he can fulfil his destiny as a member of the fellowship as Galadriel foresaw it. But what really ails the young prince of Mirkwood? And can it really be cured as Galadriel thinks?
beta: goodbye_sun
warnings: incest, character death, kink, angst, depressing themes, au, Mpreg!
pairrings: Haldir/Legolas, Erestor/Legolas
Characters: Thranduil, Haldir, Legolas.
AN: This is the first part of the two part light half of this fic,and bring on the blushing elves, and mary sues. lol... told you i can't write fluff!

Legolas would never be called in front of the dreaded tribunal, nor had he ever realised that it was Haldir's doing that he was not punished for his deed. Had he known what Haldir had told his Lord and Lady, Legolas would have died from shame.

What was left of the Mirkwood elves had stopped asking questions about the blond elfling most often seen clinging close to the king, they simply accepted that she was there, and found it impossible not to fall in love with her joyous nature and hearty laugh.

Legolas was a proud parent, scared to repeat his own father's mistake in molding little Estë's future before she started living, he would let his daughter attend whatever she pleased. Some of the tutors were not too pleased with the little elfling girl picking up a bow as tall as herself and not spending her time on needlepoint, but Legolas saw absolutely nothing wrong in her pursuing whatever felt natural to her.

It had not been until Estë had been moved into her own rooms that Legolas discovered how lonely he was, many were the nights where he sat and stared out the window on the night sky instead of doing the paperwork required of him. Never had he found someone to fill his heart the way that Haldir had, and he knew that he had played his cards as wrongly as he could have. He wished he had done everything differently, if he had, then maybe Haldir would have stayed, or at least stayed in touch. Legolas had sent the Galadrim many a letter, but didn't know if they had ever reached their destination, since Haldir had never sent anything back. And so in the end he had stopped writing, and with painful hindsight, realised that Haldir did not wish to be acquainted with the likes of him any more. He too had been more comfortable with the feral creature stuck in chains. Legolas had cried bitter, bitter tears over his own deception of Haldir, and as much as he loved his daughter, then he wished that everything was different.

Years went by, turning into decades, and still Legolas would not take another mate, none of them would smile at him the way Haldir had, and none of them had hands that would feel like they kept him on the very ground. Estë had her 280th birthday, and life was tranquil in Mirkwood.

~*~

When the parcel came, it came along with a regal looking elf from Rivendell. Legolas was most puzzled when he was told who had come from Rivendell's to deliver a message to him. ”Why would Elrond send his Chief Advisor?” Legolas asked, putting down his quill, looking up at his own Chief Advisor.

”That is for your ears only my King,” his advisor said with a little smile, ”But I am of the impression that it is of great importance.”

Legolas rose a perfect eyebrow. ”Intriguing,” he mumbled, pushing away the papers in front of him on the desk. With a sudden move, Legolas stood from his chair. ”Take me to Elrond's messenger.”

~*~

Erestor must be the most beautiful elf Legolas had ever seen, and for a moment he had to look away from the Rivendell elf's gaze. Berating himself that he had just been alone for too long, and it was only logical that he would feel like this when faced with so much beauty. They sat down and let the servants bring them wine and food while Erestor told Legolas of his errand. Apparently the one ring had resurfaced, and was now present in Rivendell. Galadriel and Elrond had decided that this was a matter of all races of middle earth, and so decided to have a council for a champion amongst all races.

”War?” Legolas asked, taking a sip of his glass, ”Lord Elrond wants to march into war once more?”

Erestor nodded, ”If necessary.”

Legolas sat for the longest time and tapped his lip with his finger, thinking about Erestor's proposition. ”Tell your Lord that I will attend his council,” he turned his gaze to Erestor, and smiled, ”And that I will fight his war, if needed.”

”It is a war that concerns us all, your majesty,” Erestor said.

Legolas nodded, apparently the time of tranquillity was over, and now was his chance to show that he was a better ruler than his father. ”Pray tell Master Erestor, why did Lord Elrond ask for me, of all elves on Arda. He has two brave sons himself, they could have attended in this circle instead.”

Erestor wet his lips and nodded, ”My Lord asked specifically for you, your majesty.” The vaguest red hue suddenly spread across the advisor's cheeks, most unlike Erestor to blush. ”He told me that all of Arda owes it to your bloodline, to make wrongs, right.”

Now it was Legolas' turn to be baffled. ”He said that?”

Erestor nodded, ”He did, Your Majesty.” The dark haired elf sat down his glass, ”He also mentioned you have a daughter, you both are of course most welcome at the Last Homely House, Lord Elrond would be most delighted to meet her, I am sure.”

Legolas looked away and down at his feet, ”Master Erestor, can I call upon your silence and discretion?” he whispered.

Erestor nodded, ”But of course, Your Majesty.”

Legolas took a deep breath, ”Will Lorien be represented at this council as well?”

Erestor shook his head, ”No, Lady Galadriel already knows the outcome, some say.”

”Oh,” Legolas sighed. ”Very well then, Estë and I shall both travel with you to Rivendell.”

~*~

Estë was quite excited as she rode out of Mirkwood along with her father, the Rivendell elf, and some guards. Never had she gone this far from their home. Legolas had denied her permission to join any form of patrols until she had seen her 500th year.

Erestor rode next to Legolas in front of the party, ”Forgive me, Your Majesty,” Erestor said, looking over his shoulder to see if Estë was within hearing range.

”Master Erestor, there is no need for formalities, you may call me Legolas.”

Erestor's smile widened, he didn't quite understand why he had been warned about the cruel king of Mirkwood, there were absolutely nothing cruel about Legolas, most of all he just seemed sad and lost, but not mad or cruel. ”You may call me Erestor,” Erestor said, and then laughed softly, a rare sound from the stoic elf.

”What is so funny, Erestor?” Legolas asked, looking puzzled.

”I have just not made a friend, in so many years, that I forgot how to, until I met you,” Erestor admitted.

”Likewise, Erestor, likewise,” Legolas chuckled. ”Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?”

Erestor sobered up, and smiled politely. ”It is about Estë,” Erestor said, ”How old is she?”

”280,” Legolas said. And before Erestor could say anything Legolas hurriedly added, ”I am past my 2000th year, friend.”

Erestor shook his head amused, Legolas was right in one thing, he looked a lot younger than he claimed to be. ”I realise this is a delicate matter, but have you given her begetting any thought?” He smiled mysteriously, knowingly, and then added ”I think that time is upon her soon.”

Legolas whipped around in the saddle, scouting for his daughter who was riding in the far back, flanked by two Rivendell elves, giggling, and acting out. Legolas turned slowly in his saddle again, ”I think you might be right,” he added softly, the strange sadness clouded his face once more as when Erestor had seen him first. ”But I never had a begetting feast of my own, so I would not know what to do.”

Erestor reached out and placed a hand on Legolas' shoulder, ”Fret not, I am sure that Lord Elrond would be thrilled to host her feast, and I can help you.” Erestor cleared his throat a little embarrassed, ”I planned Elrond's children's begetting feasts as well.”

”Oh,” Legolas mouthed. ”In that case, I would be delighted, I just want her to have a unforgettable day.”

Erestor nodded again, not asking what he wanted to ask; why Legolas had not had a begetting feast of his own.

~*~

Legolas was sitting and watching Estë closely as they camped. Luckily, he was intimidating and important enough so the young guards would not dare to touch her, but he didn't trust his daughter as much as he did his guards, not in that regard anyway. Erestor came and sat down by the fire, ”You should rest,” he said, ”We are inside the borders of Rivendell, nothing will happen here.”

”I fear no Orcs,” Legolas smiled amused, ”I fear for my daughters honour.”

Erestor raked the fire with a long stick, ”I can't promise your daughters honour will not be harmed,” he chuckled. He sat back up, watching as the fire started to feed anew. ”I believe you brought her up well, and she can fend for herself.” He turned and looked at his friend in the soft light from the fire, ”You can relax Legolas,” he said tenderly.

Legolas took a deep breath and tuned his head, looking directly into Erestor's brown eyes. ”Why you are befriending me?” He asked with a whisper, ”Did you not hear the rumours? That I am a cruel heartless master, crippled in spirit and mind?”

”I heard them,” Erestor admitted, not looking away from Legolas. ”I am a practical elf, if I can say so myself, and I do not believe in rumours that easy, I like to make up my own mind about others. And you dear, Legolas, you seem to be a lot of things, but heartless is most certainly not amongst them.”

Legolas wanted to reply, but he found he was speechless, instead he just pinched the bridge of his nose. ”You don't know me at all,” he finally whispered.

”I don't,” Erestor admitted, ”But I know what I see with my own eyes.”

”What do you see then?” Legolas asked, having a strange feeling inside that this conversation was about to take a very unlikely twist.

Erestor took Legolas' hand and rubbed it gently. ”I see a very beautiful, loving, and terribly lonely elf, living only for his family and responsibility, and not for himself.”

Legolas blushed to his roots. And when he finally spoke, his voice was unsure, ”Y-you find me beautiful?”

”How can I not?” Erestor stated honestly.

”I can think of a reason or two,” Legolas muttered. Erestor gingerly reached out and brushed some of Legolas' hair behind the delicately pointed ear, completely caught off guard as Legolas suddenly kissed him full on the lips, it was a soft, fleeting kiss, and over as soon as it started.

Erestor just stared at Legolas baffled, touching his own lips where Legolas' had been just moments ago with his fingertip.

”It is as I thought,” Legolas said saddened, his eyes moist and sad. ”Goodnight, Master Erestor, I shall see you in the morning,” Legolas mumbled, rising from the fallen log, fleeing the camp fire to hide in the dark tent and wait until sunrise.

~*~

His surprise knew no limit when he noticed that Erestor slipped into his tent an hour later. ”Legolas?” Erestor whispered.

”Yes,” Legolas whispered in reply.

”Why did you run off like that?” Erestor asked, and when Legolas didn't answer, Erestor came over to his bed and gingerly sat down besides Legolas. ”Did you think you angered me?”

”More like, repulsed you,” Legolas answered honestly, for he found that this was not the hour for lies and deceit. ”But now you know why I... ” his voice trailed off to nothing.

”Eru,” Erestor mumbled, shaking his head. But instead of saying more, he just lifted Legolas' head, and returned the kiss he had received earlier, this one lasting longer, and carried much more promise of things to come. When the kiss ended Erestor smiled, seeing Legolas, the so called heartless, cruel king of Mirkwood, wide-eyed and flustered like an elfling. ”I forgive you,” Erestor said with an amused smile.

Legolas tried not to smile, but the tiniest of chuckles escaped him.

”I spoke the truth, you are indeed kind and beautiful, Legolas. And I would like to, eh...” Erestor stopped mid sentence, to look at Legolas in the candle light, he looked utterly amused. ”What's so funny?”

”The fabled and feared chief advisor of Rivendell, at loss for words,” Legolas said laughing softly.

Erestor smiled leaning backwards into Legolas' bed, laying down on the mattress, looking up at Legolas. ”I just didn't want to send you running again,” he admitted, ”And besides, this is your tent, where are you supposed to run next?”

Legolas sucked in his breath, ”So, you really didn't mind that I kissed you?”

”No,” Erestor stated with a smile, ”In fact you can kiss me any time you like to.” Erestor had thought that Legolas would laugh, but instead he saw the younger elf's eyes narrow in suspicion. ”Don't mock me,” he hissed.

Erestor frowned, ”What makes you think I was mocking you?”

Legolas got up from the bed, forcing Erestor to sit if he wanted to watch him pace back and forth. ”For a long time ago, I lost my heart to another elf,” Legolas said, ”He did not return my affection, but... but... I took it anyway.”

Erestor's eyes widened, this was something he had not thought he would ever hear. ”Against his will?”

Legolas nodded shamefully, ”Yes.” He turned his back to Erestor, for he did not care to see Erestor's fair face twist in disgust. ”I made sure he could not say no to my kisses, but I knew deep inside that he did not care for a male in that way, and he for certain did not care for me like this either. He loved me like a father or a brother, not as a lover, that was all my doing, because I could not control my raging heart and libido.” Legolas was silent for a moment, expecting the flap to the tent to shut behind Erestor as he left, but he heard nothing but Erestor breathing behind him somewhere in the half light. ”I raped him, and the product of that is Estë, she does not know this, nor should she ever know. I am not Estë's father as she believe, I am her mother.” Now Legolas turned and looked at Erestor who still sat in the shadow's on the bed. ”I did that on purpose, I drank a magic portion that would allow me as a male, to carry a child, and I took his seed without asking for permission, because I was so afraid of loosing him, that I wanted something of his around for the rest of my life.”

Legolas took a step towards Erestor. ”Tell me, are those the acts of a sane, loving elf? No, it is not. It is the reasoning of a mad, tormented mind, and no matter how much I love my daughter, I live every day in regret that I forced myself and my madness on Haldir, he did not deserve that, he never showed me anything but kindness, and I replayed him by trying to own him, with any means necessary. Tell me dear Erestor, do you still have those high thoughts for me, you had before?”

Erestor looked up at Legolas, tears was evident in his long lashes, ”That is the most terrible tale I ever heard,” he admitted. ”My heart weeps for you.”

”What?” Legolas gasped, he had been ready to deal with a number of outcomes to his confession, this was not one of them. ”For me?”

Erestor nodded, ”I know of your fathers demise, for I was the one who did the paperwork for my Lord when they were regarding your tribunal appeal, and...”

”Hold it!” Legolas said urgently, sitting down next to Erestor once more, ”My tribunal appeal? I never appealed anything, I sent them word to punish me however they saw fit, but never received any reply.”

Erestor nodded, ”Haldir went to his lady and told her your tale, this I know from the papers. It was the very elf you accuse of hating you, who saved your life.”

”But...” Legolas whispered, ”I did not know.” He looked up at Erestor with a wounded expression, ”I didn't deserve that gesture from him, I did nothing but to violate his trust.”

”Never the less, he chose to defend you,” Erestor said. Legolas fell silent, sitting on the bed, watching the swirls in the bed cover for the longest time. ”I too know what it means to love someone who does not love you back,” Erestor said softly.

”He was right,” Legolas finally whispered. ”On the night of his departure he told me I knew nothing of love, at the time I was furious with him for denying me my heart.” He slowly looked up at Erestor and smiled sadly, ”I know now he was right, what I felt for him, had nothing to do with love.”

Erestor straightened up in his seat, ”But you know better now.”

”Estë, she showed me the meaning of love.” Legolas admitted, ”How was I supposed to know that it was not love I felt in my heart, for none had ever showed me true love. Estë, she is my pride, and shame in one.”

”She will soon be an adult, Legolas, then you have to learn how to live again,” Erestor said.

~*~

Morning found Erestor and Legolas in bed sleeping, fully clothed on top of the blanket, but spooned up like kittens. When Legolas first woke he had been confused to find that the other elf had stayed through the night, nestling up against Erestor's back, he wrapped an arm around the sleeping Rivendell elf. Maybe Erestor was right? Maybe it was time he learned to live for himself, not for Thranduil, not for honour, not for war, and not for Estë, but just for him – Legolas. And what did Legolas want? He thought to himself, and in all honestly he could say that he wanted nothing more than to lay here snuggled up to Erestor.

When Erestor stirred, Legolas tried to pull his arm back, but found that Erestor had a hold on it. ”It has been ages since I slept this well,” Erestor mumbled, yawning.

Legolas thought about it, and he too had slept like he had not slept in ages. ”I had a delightful rest as well,” he said, and feeling a little mischievous, added ”But how could I not when I have my arms full of Rivendell elf?”

”Cocky,” Erestor chuckled, turning over on his back, looking up at Legolas who propped up on his elbow, was looking down at Erestor on his pillow.

”You are not as frightening as they say,” Legolas said, deciding to give Erestor back with his own medicine, ”You are as beautiful as you are wise and forgiving.”

Erestor blinked confused for a moment, and then a broad smile spread on his lips. ”I think I like the way you think, Legolas of Mirkwood,” he laughed.

Legolas grinned as well, he could get used to this, sweet words and gentle touches. True, Erestor did not feel or sound like Haldir, but he didn't have to. He just had to sound and feel like Erestor, and that was fine by Legolas.

~*~
Legolas, Erestor and Estë had arrived at the Last Homely House, and for a moment Legolas had been a little afraid that Erestor would forget all the kind words the moment they rode across the courtyard, but he soon discovered this was not the truth. Erestor was every bit as kind at home as he had been in Mirkwood, and on the road. Legolas didn't see much of Estë who ignored her father to sneak out with the pretty exotic Rivendell elves, having the time of her young life.

Erestor had in agreement with Lord Elrond and Legolas, decided that Estë should have her begetting feast the last day of May. And the last day of May came too fast.

~*~

At Estë's room Legolas sat on her bed, watching some maids braid his daughter's long silver blond hair. ”Papa?” She asked, ”What was your begetting feast like?”

”I don't remember, my heart,” Legolas said with a sweet smile. And truth was he had not even been aware that such a thing existed when he should have been the one having his own feast. Threanduil had only thought him about war and weapons, never about the joys of making merry for no apparent reason. ”Are you nervous?”

Estë smiled at her reflection in the mirror, looking at her father behind her. ”No,” she lied.

Legolas laughed and got up from the bed, and walked over to the chair where Estë sat. The maids silently retreated and left the room, their task done. ”Is there room for me on your ball card?” he asked, idly twining Estë's hair between his fingers.

”Of course not!” Estë laughed, ”You are old, and you're my father!”

Legolas laughed again, ”I should have known you were an ungrateful brat.”

”I wish my mother could have been here too,” She suddenly said, her voice saddened. Legolas didn't know what to say, and just dropped his gaze to look upon his fingers in Estë's hair. The tension built in the room, since Legolas had never been willing to answer any questions of Estë's about her absent mother. ”Papa?” she said after some time.

”Yes my sweet?” Legolas said, looking up at Estë's mirror image again.

”You really like that Erestor, don't you?” She asked sweetly.

”W-what, who... Eh... Of course I like him, he is a very likeable elf.”

Estë laughed, and turned in the chair, facing her father for real, ”It's okay Papa, I can tell that you are in love, all of Rivendell can see that, except you apparently.”

Legolas stared wide eyed at his daughter ”Who replaced my darling daughter with this grown female?” he said slapping Estë's shoulder playfully, but avoiding her eyes.

”Papa,” Estë whined.

”I do,” Legolas admitted reluctantly. ”I do like Erestor a lot” Estë took her father's hand, and for the first time Legolas noticed how big that hand had gotten, it was the hand of a grown female elf, and not a little chubby child's hand. To think that he had almost repeated his own father's mistake, and not letting her have this day which was rightfully hers. ”Come, princess,” he said, ”I believe there is a party waiting for you.”

~*~

Legolas had wanted to retire early from the feast, but had found himself seated at a table with the Gondorian, Boromir, and Elrond's seneshal, Glorfindel, who exchanged old battle stories. He didn't really care for their bragging, but it felt nice and homely to just sit at the table with his drink, watching Estë dance. Suddenly he heard someone whisper in his ear, ”I think she has a sweet spot for Lord Elrond the youngest son.”

Legolas smiled, knowing who this sultry voice belonged to. ”She has good taste,” he replied.

”Master Erestor!” Glorfindel suddenly exclaimed, ”You must have a drink with us, my old friend.”

Erestor looked trapped for a second, but then just gave in and sat down next to Boromir, reaching for the glass that Glorfindel handed him. Glorfindel was just about to say something, when Erestor leaned in over the table, addressing Legolas and ignoring the seneshal to his left. ”She is indeed beautiful, you should be proud.”

”Thank you, Erestor,” Legolas said with a sweet smile, that made Glorfindel roll his eyes. Thinking of what Estë had said earlier in her bedroom, and fuelled by alcohol, Legolas held out his hand to Erestor. ”Have this dance with me,” he smirked.

”Oh, I thought you'd never ask,” Glorfindel mocked Erestor's voice into a whiny woman's voice.

Erestor just shot him an deadly glare, and then smiled at Legolas, ”But of course,” he said, following Legolas out into the crowd of dancing elves.

~*~

Later Legolas slipped away from the party, inhaling the cool night air with a deep sigh. This had been a wonderful party, and he was sure it was a night Estë would remember for the rest of her life. He would be forever grateful to Lord Elrond and Erestor for making this feast for her. Even if he was glad that Haldir was not here, he couldn't help but to be a little saddened that he could not see Estë now, radiant, beautiful and alive, and worth every tear they had ever shed.

”A penny for your thoughts,” A soft voice said behind him. Legolas didn't turn around, he knew his daughters voice.

”I was just thinking of you,” he answered, looking up at the red harvest moon above them. ”Thinking of how strange it is that it seems like only a few years ago I was teaching you how to eat with a fork, and here you are, a grown female, surrounded by beautiful suitors.” Legolas laughed softly to himself, ”Estë? Can I ask you something?” He finally turned around and looked at his daughter who had come to stand at his side.

”Of course,” Estë said with a sweet smile, resting her head on Legolas' shoulder.

”Are you happy like this?”

Estë raised her head, and looked worried at her father. ”Why would you ask me something like that?”

”Because I want to know,” Legolas said, deadly serious.

”I am Papa, I am very happy,” Estë finally said with a nod.

Legolas looked over Estë's shoulder, and saw Elrohir who was on his way out into the gardens, ”I think you're missed inside, sweetness.”

”What?” Estë turned too, and saw Elrohir walking towards them with a awkward smile. ”Oh,” she giggled.

Legolas gave him a friendly smile, but in reality he felt like giggling too, for he could see the nervousness mingle with lust in the young elf's eyes when he looked at Ëste. ”My Lord Elrohir,” he said, still smiling.

”Your Majesty,” Elrohir said, bowing slightly, ”Would you mind greatly if I kidnapped your daughter back to the dance?”

This time Legolas couldn't hold in his laughter any more, and with a merry chuckle he nodded, ”Why don't you ask her that?”

But Elrohir didn't get the chance before Estë took his hand and started to haul him back to the hall of fire, leaving Legolas alone in the dark garden.

~*~

Erestor had noticed that Legolas had been gone awfully long, but when he got up to go look for him, he bumped into a very drunk, and very amused Glorfindel. ”Lost your lover?” Glorfindel whispered with a stupid grin.

”He's not my... ” Erestor gave up and just shook his head. ”Drink it up Glorfindel,” he mumbled, trying to get past the balrog slayer.

”Take these,” Glorfindel pushed two goblets in Erestor's hands. ”He's out in the garden, apparently he's just as big a party animal as you are.”

”Glorfindel... you are...” Erestor started, but then just smiled vaguely, ”Thank you,” ignoring Glorfindel's loud amusement as he made his way through the crowd and escaped out into the dark garden.

Erestor saw Legolas the moment he stepped out into the night, and walked straight for him. ”Here,” he said softly, not wanting to startle the other elf, handing him one of the goblets.

”Can you smell the magnolia?” Legolas asked dreamily.

”Yes,” Erestor answered, sitting down next to Legolas with his own goblet.

”Funny how everything here smells of that,” he turned his head and smiled lopsided, ”Even you.”

Erestor laughed, toasting with Legolas.

”I wish I could stay,” Legolas whispered, looking straight out into the air, ”I felt more alive here than I did for the last 1000 years in Mirkwood.”

Erestor took a deep breath, ”I wish you could stay too, after all its not all that often I have an excuse to visit Mirkwood.” He wrapped an arm around Legolas' shoulders, ”I know you have to return eventually.”

”Would you do something for me?” Legolas asked sadly, ”When I leave for Elrond's war, would you look after Estë for me? Something tells me she would like to stay here too.”

”But of course,” Erestor whispered back. Squeezing Legolas' shoulders lightly. ”Speaking of war,” Erestor said, sipping his drink. ”I lost my heart in war once, I refuse to let it happen again.”

Legolas turned his head and looked at Erestor with wonderment in his eyes.

”I think,” Erestor started, and then cleared his throat. Why was he so bad at this? ”No, I know that I am falling in love with you, I know its stupid and beyond all reason, but my heart never listened to reason to begin with.” Erestor looked away from Legolas demurely, falling silent.

”Erestor,” Legolas mumbled, when Erestor looked up, Legolas reached across their laps and caressed Erestor's face, ”It's terribly stupid of you, you who by all means are a very intelligent elf, if not the most intelligent elf on Arda. But it seems like I am just as big a fool as you.” He guided Erestor's face closer and kissed the other elf's lips softly.

TBC? - DISCONTINUED.

TBC