author: azzy
title: King of my castle.
WIP: 3/4
summary: Haldir is summoned to Mirkwood to help Legolas regain his sanity, so he can fulfil his destiny as a member of the fellowship as Galadriel foresaw it. But what really ails the young prince of Mirkwood? And can it really be cured as Galadriel thinks?
beta: chaotic_binky
warnings: incest, character death, kink, angst, depressing themes, au, Mpreg!
pairrings: Haldir/Legolas, Erestor/Legolas
Characters: Thranduil, Haldir, Legolas.
AN: This is the first part of the two part light half of this fic, i realise that this isnt exactly fluffy, but i'm getting there.
Legolas stood next to Haldir, watching his father's pyre. He had not ventured outside until now. He looked over his shoulder and saw the other elves of Mirkwood looking at him, hatred in their eyes. How could he ever tell them what had transpired? Legolas turned his head and looked at Haldir in the soft light of the flames. His saviour, had it not been for this elf, he would still have been stuck in that his golden cell, lost in his own personal hell. Slowly his mind had returned to him, he knew that he had insisted on getting his shackles on straight after Thranduil had died, but it seemed hazy, like a dream. Had it really happened? Legolas couldn't claim that he understood it himself, how could he have been playing with dolls, biting servants one day, and then today sit at the high table, carry pleasant conversation? Haldir had said that while he had been in the cell he had had no recollection of his, 'previous' life, or his achievements, and now when he stood here and watched the flames eat away the pyre, he had no recollection of his years in captivity. He revered his childhood, his begetting, his first kiss, his first fist fight, and most of all, all his fights he had with his father. He remembered his solitude and anger. But for the life of him, then he couldn't remember playing with toys, and that happened just a week ago. He knew that Haldir suspected foul play, and therefore had started to read through every journal that Thranduil had kept, those who had survived the fire that is. Legolas thought it looked awfully boring, but maybe Haldir was right? Maybe the answers that he wanted were somewhere in those damn journals.
Legolas had been the first to leave the pyre, and Haldir had followed suit. ”My prince,” he said, placing an hand on Legolas' shoulder, preventing him from walking away.
”What is amiss Haldir?” Legolas asked, smiling sadly at Haldir.
”I do not think it wise to leave the pyre so soon,” Haldir replied, brushing some of Legolas hair away, behind the elf's ear. ”Think of your coronation, and... the others, they..”
”The others, they 'what'?!” Legolas said, low as a whisper. ”Hate me?”
Haldir looked beaten. ”Yes” he mumbled. ”I fear that most elves will leave the realm, once.. ehm.”
”Once I am king,” Legolas finished for him. And Haldir just nodded.
”Will you leave as well?” he suddenly asked. Not really sure why he needed to know, but he did.
”Eventually,” Haldir stated.
”When is eventually?” Legolas demanded to know.
”As much as I want to stay here, I hail from Lorien, and I will hear my queen’s call when it comes,” Haldir said,
Legolas nodded. ”Then I will leave too,” he said, brushing Haldir's hand off his shoulder and walked towards the royal home again.
Haldir followed, and waited till they were back in the princely rooms, before he closed the door behind him, looking at Legolas who had seated himself in a plush chair, exact replicas of those Thranduil once had. ”You can't leave Mirkwood, Legolas,” Haldir said, leaning up against the door. ”Your people need you here.”
Legolas shrugged, ”They don't want me here, that much is pretty obvious.” He looked up at Haldir, ”Why should I stay then?”
”You're their king, and nothing they say can change that, my friend,” Haldir said. Finally Haldir left the door and went to the bookshelf to pick up a huge red leather bound book. Thranduil's personal journal. ”Legolas,” he said. ”You really should read this.”
”Why?” Legolas sighed. ”I have no need for my fathers secrets.”
”This will interest you, I promise,” Haldir said, sitting down on the armrest of Legolas' chair. ”I found it two days ago, but wasn't sure if I should show you or not, but decided that you should know.”
Legolas took the journal with a deep bored sigh. And opened it on the page where Haldir had held his finger. ”Alright, let me entertain you then.”
The first part was as Legolas expected really boring, something about how he had recovered Skittles for Legolas. But further down in the text Legolas felt himself pale.
'I discovered early on in my son’s life that he had no interest in female elves. He kept the company of servants and guards, he probably thought I did not know, but he is yet to learn that I know everything that goes on here in my own home. Prior to his relapse into childhood, I presented him with some fine female elves from which he ought to choose a wife and ensure the royal family of Mirkwood’s survival'
”By Eru!” Legolas whispered, looking up at Haldir for a short moment. ”He knew that?” A slight blush crept across his fair features. ”I remember those boring geese he tried to push on me, I had no idea this was his plan.”
”It gets worse,” Haldir just mumbled.
Legolas returned to reading Thranduil's journal.
'In his current state no elf in their right mind would want to marry him, and even less produce a grandchild for me, and so in my desperation I turned to the old crone in the forest. It was a dangerous trip, one I had to make by myself because I did not trust anyone enough to go with me, and so I told the servants that I wanted to go and ponder by myself for some time by the bottomless lake to the west. But I ventured to the crone, and presented her with my perils. She told me something interesting, that love magic was hard, and no matter how good she was, she could not make it last, so eventually the effect would wear off, and chances were the mother would leave with her elfling, angered that she had been tricked. But she could do something else, something that did not require trickery of the mind. It was arcane magic, old as the earth itself. She made me three portions to give to my son, and then something inside him would change, and then he, within hours of drinking a portion, would be able to bear a child of his own. This child would need a father because the crone's magic would give Legolas a womb for some hours, it would disappear again once the effect of the portion wore off, had he not been impregnated. And in his current state he would not know what happened to his body. I pondered over this the whole way home, keeping my portions close. And that same night, I went to him and gave him the portion, which he drank without questioning me, my sweet, obedient son. I went there that night, claiming his body as mine, using him till I heard that sweet voice of his cry in release. Now I just have to wait, and waiting will be hard.'
Legolas didn't know what to think or say. ”I..” he stuttered.
Haldir smiled softly. ”Told you it was important,” he whispered, turning some pages and pointed down in the book again.
'The portion failed me; Legolas has not fallen pregnant. I will have to try once more, maybe I need to spill my seed inside him immediately after he drank the portion; maybe I waited too long?'
Legolas suddenly slammed the book shut. ”Enough,” he hissed. ”I can't read more of this”
”I understand,” Haldir said, laying the journal on the table. ”But you ought to read this journal some day.”
Legolas shook his head in a childish manner. Haldir wrapped an arm around Legolas' shoulders, and sat like that in silence for a long while.
~*~
Haldir had watched Legolas slowly returning to his old self with growing distress. The smiles and laughter had completely left the young elf, and gone were the joyous embraces. All that was left was a sullen brooding elf. Haldir understood that Legolas was worried, and he knew that under his stoic surface he was scared out of his mind. He had murdered his father, which made him a kin slayer, it was no small matter.
Haldir looked over at Legolas who lay in the bed staring up at the canopy with his arms folded under his head. ”Legolas,” he said tenderly, carefully sitting down at the foot end of the bed. ”I wish you would release that journal to the elven tribunal.”
”No,” Legolas said, his voice clipped.
”I am sure if they knew what your father had done, they would understand that you had every right to lash out, and that you could not possibly have been aware of the true nature of your tormentor.” Haldir took a deep breath. ”And he stated several times in his journal that he kept you sedated with a highly hallucinogenic drug. I am 'sure' they would find you were.. are.. eh, not guilty of the heinous crime as some might believe.”
”So they could call me mad?” Legolas sighed sadly. ”It would just prove that I am a weakling, unable to fend for myself, much less run this kingdom on my own, and that my father, the much beloved, and sorely missed Thranduil, was a crazy pervert. Do you really think the inhabitants of Mirkwood would be lenient, even if the Tribunal would be?”
”You can only hope that...” Haldir said, his voice trailed off to nothing. ”No one is calling you weak; don't think you could have prevented this, or that you brought it upon yourself somehow.”
Legolas turned in the bed, laying on his side, watching Haldir at his feet. ”I'm ashamed,” he admitted in a whisper.
”Your secret is safe with me, if that is what you truly want, my prince,” Haldir said, placing a soothing hand on Legolas’ calf. ”But I implore you to bring that journal to the tribunal, or let me meet them in your stead.”
”No,” Legolas said softly. ”I will rather take whatever punishment they can conjure up, than admitting to anything written in that cursed journal.”
”So be it,” Haldir said nodding, even if he strongly disagreed.
~*~
Legolas had dreaded the coronation, but now that it was here, it seemed like he had been afraid of shadows, his fathers head advisor had placed the circlet on his head and held a little speech about how delightful it was to see another generation of Oropher's descendent on the throne and a whole lot of stuff that Legolas didn't really hear, his focus was on Haldir, he was standing in the side of the crowd, looking absolutely brilliant in his light blue garments, like a blue diamond, amongst rubble.
The advisor patted Legolas' shoulder, and Legolas rose, looking out over his people gathered in the courtyard. He had rehearsed a speech, Haldir had helped him write it. But now it seemed pointless. So instead he looked out over the elves of Mirkwood. ”I know some of you are thinking of leaving,” he said, listening to the whispering in the crowd, ignoring Haldir's shocked expression. ”I wanted to take this moment, the first I have as the ruler of Mirkwood, to tell you, that you are all free to leave at any time you wish. I know most of you do not understand how it happened that just weeks ago I believed I was but a child, but I assure you my mind has returned, and I have learned from my mistakes. I am not the same Legolas today, as I was years ago. So I ask of you to give me a chance to prove to you that I am able to rule Mirkwood, just as well as my father did.”
~*~
”Why did you say that?” Haldir raged, once they had reached Legolas' private chambers, ”That was foolish, and very unbecoming.” Haldir frowned as he realised that Legolas was not listening. ”All you did was give the people a reason to doubt you! Legolas! Are you listening?”
”I am,” Legolas said, turning the kings circlet between his fingers idly. ”I said what I had to say.”
”Eru! Legolas, you fool!” Haldir sighed.
”Haldir?” Legolas asked sweetly, reminding Haldir of when he was still locked in the basement. ”I know you received a letter from Lorien, what did it say?”
”It, eh,” Haldir mumbled, not sure what to tell Legolas.
”The truth please,” Legolas said, turning in his chair, looking directly at Haldir who had stopped pacing the room, and stood still in front one of the large windows.
”My queen wishes for me to return,” Haldir whispered. ”She didn't say when, just soon.”
”Oh,” Legolas replied with a hurt expression. He placed the circlet on the vanity table beside him, and rose from his chair, walking to where Haldir stood. ”When will you leave, then?” he asked.
”In a week’s time, I reckon,” Haldir replied, not able to look Legolas in his eyes. ”I came to heal your spirit, and that I have done.” He took a deep breath. ”You are now Legolas, King of Mirkwood, and you do not require my help any more.” A little smile played on his lips.
”You came to heal me, and you did, but what good is that if you leave me broken hearted?” Legolas whispered.
”Don't say that,” Haldir said, mortified.
”What? Can't I say?” Legolas suddenly yelled, like a furious child. When Haldir opened his mouth to answer, Legolas hushed him with a gesture of his hand. ”I understand,” he said acidly. ”You offer me friendship, I know that. Thank you Haldir.” He looked Haldir directly into his eyes. ”You should hear your queen’s summoning, and leave me to my sorrow, truth is that your place was never here at my side.”
”Legolas,” Haldir said, with a saddened tone.
The one elf he wanted to stay, was leaving. Legolas was about to march into the Chief Advisor's chambers and toss the stupid circlet in his face, telling him to rule Mirkwood himself, and just leave this cursed place all together. ”Can I ask you one last thing?” Legolas asked softly, looking away from Haldir's gaze.
”Anything,” Haldir sighed, he would do anything to remove that hurt expression from Legolas' beautiful eyes.
”Would you give me another bath?” Legolas asked, finally looking back up at his friend.
Haldir squirmed a little uncomfortably. ”If that is your wish”
~* ~
The time of Haldir's departure approached rapidly, and to Legolas' sorrow he watched the elves of Mirkwood leave in big parties; if they left for another realm, or if they left for Valinor, he didn't know, but it just seemed like a long, never ending stream of refugees from a broken Mirkwood.
Legolas was alone in the dark, reading his father's journal.
'Admitted I had never meant for my son to return to his childhood, a part of me feels guilty, and another part of me keeps feeding him the hemlock which keeps him in his dream state. I love how he will call for me, just like he did as he were a wee one, my son needs me close again. And I need him even closer.
If I add some to his soup along with the hemlock, he is burning with desire moments later. He will practically beg the 'nightmare' to touch him, moaning like the wanton whore he is. He is mine now, every inch of him, heart, body and soul. My son finally loves me.'
Legolas felt sick to the heart, reading this. So his father had kept him drugged to keep him docile and dependant, and Haldir had changed all that. The shadow man... Luckily Legolas had forgotten most of his time in the cell, but he recalled feeling like he was on fire, seeing the stars that were painted on the ceiling, move down over the walls. Crying from pain, unable to find release no matter how hard he would try, not until the shadow man would grant him a release so violent he thought he would break apart.
'I have but one potion left, I do not understand why it has not worked; the crone promised me that they would have the desired effect.'
Legolas read those lines over and over again, ”One left?” He whispered to himself. He rubbed his temples, ”Eru, you are mad as your father,” he mumbled to himself. He rested his forehead in the book, and wrapped his arms over the back of his head. ”Mad,” he mumbled into the pages. Where would you hide it you bastard? He thought to himself. Searching his mind what those vials would look like, and the harder he thought about it, the more he recalled seeing a green vial with a silver stopper, in his old cell down in the prison ward under his feet.
~*~
As he walked down the stairs he asked himself why he would do something like that, this was crazy! But he still continued, making his way down the hall, stopping in front of the golden double doors. Legolas pushed the door, but found it locked. He had already thought of this, and brought Haldir's copy of the key.
The air that hit his face was stale and smelled of sweat, and urine. He stepped inside, half afraid someone would shut the door behind him, and he would be trapped here once again. He walked over to the bed, running a shaking hand down over the pole that held the shackles. He had loved this bed, he recalled that. But looking at it now, it looked ominous and dangerous, like it would eat him alive if he crawled unto the mattress. He shut his eyes tight, trying to recall where he had seen the vial.
~*~
Haldir felt nervous and somewhat like a traitor as he sat at the high table, looking at Legolas who ate his food with a creepy serene expression. ”My king,” He finally said. His voice echoing off the walls in the large hall.
Legolas looked up at Haldir. ”Are you not hungry?” he asked pointing with his fork at Haldir’s untouched plate of food.
Haldir looked down at the food, it actually looked delicious, but he was not hungry. ”I am leaving for Lorien at dawn,” he said. ”I am sorry, my king, but I postponed it as much as I could.” They both knew that wasn't true, but ever since Legolas had talked about being in love Haldir had wanted to leave, he didn't want to hurt Legolas more than he had to, but truth was that he cared greatly for Legolas, but was not and would never be romantically interested in him, so he had no choice but to let him down, and leaving would be the best solution for all. He wished that Legolas would find love, he wanted him to find someone to give him what he apparently needed, but it was not him, absolutely not him.
Legolas felt himself pale, but he was too aware of the other elves in the room, and not even his servants who had remained could know. ”Very well Haldir, if there is anything at all you need, it is yours, you have but to voice it.”
”Thank you, my king, it is most kind of you,” Haldir replied. ”Will you forgive me for leaving the table early, I am tired, and I have a long journey ahead of me.”
”Of course, my friend,” Legolas said, calmly. He watched Haldir intensely as he rose from the table and left the room.
~*~
Hours later Legolas knocked on Haldir's door, and to his surprise it was instantly opened. ”I thought you slept,” he said with a slight smile.
”If you really thought that, you would not have knocked on my door,” Haldir said dryly.
Legolas arched an eyebrow, ”Are you saying you were expecting me to knock on your door?”
”I was,” Haldir said, closing the door behind Legolas.
Pain shot up Legolas’ stomach as were he stabbed with a dagger, forcing him to sit as he tried not to show his discomfort. ”Are you alright?” Haldir asked, looking concerned.
”I'm fine, thank you,” Legolas said with a strained smile. ”Are you still good for your promise?”
Haldir sighed and nodded. ”I promised, didn't I?” He crossed his arms over his chest. ”Can I ask why you asked this specific thing of me?”
”You have kind hands,” Legolas stated. ”The hands of a healer.” He smiled a little awkward and boyishly. ”I thought that maybe I would feel fully rejuvenated afterwards, and the departure would not feel as much as a loss to me.”
Haldir nodded, it did actually make sense, and if he could do anything to help Legolas reclaim his life, he would. ”I already drew you a bath,” Haldir admitted. ”I was sure you would come,” he shrugged and gestured towards the bathroom.
Legolas' smile lit up. ”Fantastic,” he cooed, getting up from his chair, thankful that the pain had now lessened and he was able to walk without bending over. Once in the bathroom, he closed the door and shed his clothes, knowing that Haldir would leave if he acted indecent. With a deep sigh he immersed himself in the warm water. ”I'm in,” he called out, watching as Haldir opened the door, stripped of his boots and tunic. ”I don't want all my clothes to get wet,” Haldir stated flatly, easing down on the stool he had placed behind Legolas' back.
Legolas sighed blissfully as Haldir’s fingers massaged his scalp, rubbing in the soap to wash his hair. ”Do you think they will all leave?” Legolas suddenly asked. ”Leaving me alone in a ghost realm, growing lonely and crazier than my father?”
”No, I don't think they will all leave,” Haldir said, moving his hands down to Legolas' shoulders, massaging the tense muscles he found there. ”Eventually they will realise that you aren't the brat you were years ago.”
Legolas laughed softly. ”It's still odd that you're leaving, that tomorrow you won't be here.” He turned his head somewhat, looking over his shoulder. ”Do you miss your homelands?”
”I do,” Haldir admitted. ”Nothing can compare to Lorien, it is the most beautiful place on all of Arda.”
”I believe you,” Legolas said. ”Nothing beautiful or magical about this place, nothing but death and dark damp forest.” Legolas sat for a moment in silence, until he suddenly turned around in the water, looking at Haldir. ”I forgot the wine,” he gasped. ”I had some special wine taken up from the cellar for this, your last night here, would you be so kind as to call a servant and have it brought here?”
”Sure,” Haldir said, smiling slightly. He didn't want any wine, but he didn't want to hurt Legolas' feelings, now that he had a bottle picked out for him specifically. He stood up and walked into the bedroom, pulling the bellstring, to call a servant.
While Haldir stood in the door, Legolas sat in the bathtub waiting, when suddenly the sharp pain returned. He had to bite down hard on his arm not to scream. For a moment he thought of just confessing to Haldir, that he had read that passage in his father's journal, and then had sought out that last vial, and with no second thoughts had downed it all prior to coming here, in one last desperate attempt to make Haldir stay. He knew from the journal that Thranduil had given him this before, but he did not recall this pain, not even close. And for a moment he felt terrible for tricking Haldir like this. All he wanted was just for Haldir to love him the way he loved Haldir, was that really so wrong?
Haldir returned with the bottle and two glasses, filling both and handing one to Legolas who managed to take it without grinding his teeth too much. ”To friendship,” Haldir said.
”To friendship,” Legolas echoed. Closing his eyes as he downed the glass of yellowish wine. For he knew what this was, this special wine he had picked out for Haldir. It was his father's recipe for an aphrodisiac, and he knew it worked, he knew all too well what this would do to you when mixed in food, so he could only guess what it would do when mixed in wine.
”It really is a wonderful wine,” Haldir said, taking the last sip in his glass, pouring one more, not noticing that Legolas twitched. ”You too?” Legolas held out his glass and let it be filled again. ”To the king,” Haldir grinned.
”To the king's best friend,” Legolas grinned, splashing water on Haldir, now that he could move again, and the pain had gone.
~*~
They sat for some time and talked about nothing, about how Lorien looked in the spring, and how Haldir missed his brothers, and wished that Legolas could meet them; his youngest brother Rumil was the same age as Legolas. Legolas had just been sitting listening as he slowly felt his skin heat up, making him uncomfortable, like he had a fever or something. ”Hand me that towel,” he said reaching out his arm.
Haldir got the towel; Legolas noticed his cheeks were flustered, and reckoned that the aphrodisiac had worked on the Lorien elf as well. Legolas stood up in the water and stepped out on the floor stark naked, sporting a healthy erection, taking the towel off Haldir, who seemed to blush crimson, but did not move. Legolas crooked his head and just dropped the towel on the floor, never using it. ”It's all your fault,” he whispered, stepping closer to Haldir. ”This is what your touch does to me.” He ran his hand over his own erection, sucking in his breath as he did so.
”Legolas,” Haldir managed to croak. ”You should leave.”
But Legolas just smiled, stepping close to Haldir, so they almost touched and watching Haldir as he fought to keep his breath steady. ”I love you,” Legolas whispered. ”I just wish you loved me as well.”
”I don't,” Haldir whispered. ”Not that way.”
”Let me change your mind,” Legolas purred, gently running his palms over Haldir's hips, and with a quick yank he pulled Haldir's pants down, freeing his erection. Legolas rose an eyebrow. ”Just tell me to stop, and mean it. Then I promise I will,” he whispered, curling his fingers around Haldir's erection, massaging it slowly, smiling as the Lorien elf’s hands trembled when he weakly tried to push Legolas away.
”St...” Haldir panted. ”St-op.”
”Hush, you don't mean that,” Legolas whispered, cutting Haldir's half hearted protests off with a kiss. A kiss that quickly grew deeper and more demanding. It ended as sudden as it had begun. Legolas teasingly bit Haldir's lip. ”Please,” Legolas whispered. ”Please Haldir.”
When Haldir was about to protest, however weakly, Legolas suddenly swept Haldir’s feet away from under him, and too dazed and confused, Haldir could not regain his balance, but fell to the floor, only to find himself pinned to the tiles beneath him by Legolas.
Legolas looked at Haldir for a short moment. ”I can't let you leave like that,” he admitted with a smile. ”Close your eyes,” he whispered before licking a wet trail up Haldir's jawline with his tongue.
Obediently, Haldir closed his eyes, he wasn't really sure why. He didn't want this, he wasn't like this! But the fire that burned under his skin was unbearable, and Legolas seemed like the cure. ”Just pretend that I am a pretty elven maid,” Legolas whispered in his ear. He could do that, Haldir thought to himself, trying his hardest to imagine what he knew was Legolas, as a fair elven maid, round hips and heavy breasts. But as soon as the illusion was complete, and Haldir was squirming under Legolas' ministrations he suddenly felt something alien, too tight to be a female elf, and that was when he finally opened his eyes.
Haldir watched in horror as Legolas slowly impaled himself, his gaze travelled from Legolas’ crotch to his face, twisted in pain, but his voice only gave the impression of pleasure. Gingerly, Haldir reached out and rested his hands on Legolas' hips, falling into his rhythm as the prince started to move. In his dazed condition Haldir couldn't help but watch Legolas ride him with such abandon, he couldn't recall he had ever had such an lover. As much as he wanted to watch Legolas, finding it oddly erotic, he eventually had to close his eyes, as his own pleasure suddenly picked up pace. His grasp on Legolas' hips was so tight his nails drew blood from the prince's skin, ramming himself upwards, into the velvet heat that promised him release, like water to quell a fire. Legolas felt his skin break under Haldir's nails, he had guessed that Haldir unleashed would be a force of nature to try and harness.
Legolas screamed out as his body was shattered by a powerful orgasm, threatening to drive him mad. Legolas' orgasm came as a surprise to Haldir who was lost in his own sea of intense pleasure. Legolas suddenly shivered and cramped at the same time, milking Haldir's orgasm out of him, he found his release with a raw sob.
Legolas slid of Haldir, exhausted, resting against the bathtub's side. ”Ai Valar,” he grinned.
Haldir, scrambled to his feet and looked down at Legolas with a furious expression. ”What is wrong with you, Legolas?” he demanded to know.
Legolas looked up at Haldir with a sedated, sweet smile. ”I just wanted a farewell gift to last me some years, and by Eru, I won't forget this for quite some time.”
”You poor wretched creature, you were better off in the cell in shackles,” Haldir spat, pulling his pants back up with a angry, swift move.
Legolas frowned, getting to his feet as well, but while he was getting up, he was hit once more by the numbing pain in his abdomen. Causing him to fall to the floor with a chilling scream, clutching his stomach.
Haldir was divided, he wanted to help his old charge, but what Legolas just did was unforgivable. Even now Haldir still felt lust roar through his body, and could come to no other conclusion than Legolas had drugged him to be compliant. Haldir turned and left the bathroom with the crying Legolas curled up in pain on the cold tiled floor. He would not wait till the morning to leave, he would leave right this instant.
~*~
Strapping the saddlebag up, he heard the door to the stables open. ”Haldir?” Legolas called, he sounded worried. ”Here,” Haldir said, knowing it was pointless to hide.
Legolas slowly walked over to Haldir, his bare feet carefully stepping on the hay on the floor. He had pulled on some pants and a tunic, he had no time for boots if he were to catch Haldir. ”I thought you secretly wanted me too,” he mumbled, not looking up at the older elf. ”I thought you would enjoy yourself, I... eh.”
”What you did was...” Haldir sneered.
”Unforgivable,” Legolas finished for him. ”Yes,” Legolas admitted with a whisper. ”But I just...”
Haldir lifted Legolas' chin with his fingers, and Legolas reluctantly looked him into his eyes. ”You can't shape others will according to yours, Legolas,” he said. ”That is not what makes a ruler, that only makes you a manipulative madman.”
”I honestly thought you wanted me too, I just wanted to give you the opportunity without having to think too much,” Legolas said, swallowing hard, seeing the loathing in Haldir's eyes. This was something he had not anticipated at all. Anger he could deal with, anger would lessen and fade, but loathing was something completely different.
”Such honeycoated lies,” Haldir said softly. ”Goodbye, Legolas.”
”Don't go,” Legolas pleaded with a thick voice, finally voicing his fears. ”Please don't go.”
Haldir smiled, admitting that he did feel saddened. He didn't know if it was because the lost, sad elfling he had come to save from his own madness had turned out to be this monster after all, or if it was because he saw the elfling behind the features of the monster... ”Take care, my king,” Haldir said flatly. ”I am sure our paths will meet once more, eventually.”
Legolas drew a long shuddering breath. ”Forgive me, I was wrong, but please don't leave me behind like this. I, I.. I love you.”
Haldir shook his head sadly, pushing Legolas aside as he pulled the horse out of its box. ”No you don't, you just think you do, because i was the one to tend for you.”
Now it was Legolas' turn to shake his head, ”I do, I do love you, and it pains me to see it burden you so.” He stomped his foot in frustration, ”I want you as my lover, not my keeper.”
Haldir was speechless for a moment. ”You know nothing of love, young Legolas, and for that I pity you.” Haldir proceeded to drag the horse outside in the night air, with Legolas following behind them.
As Haldir rode out of the courtyard, Legolas stood in the shadows, his sorrow mingled with a smile, for he knew something Haldir did not.
~*~
At first Legolas had not been sure the portion had worked, but when he had lost his breakfast to the sink two weeks in a row, he knew. When he started to show, he was thrilled. The only two things that kept his enthusiasm down was the fact that a pregnant, male ruler was not was Mirkwood wanted, and so he told his chief advisor to tell the inhabitants of Mirkwood that he had fallen sick, and therefore was indisposable. He kept to his wing and only let a few elves see him, two servants, the chief advisor and the healer. Every single one of them was appalled by his state, and many were the nights Legolas had lain awake, wondering if he had made a mistake. What if he were just as twisted as Thranduil? Had he not just proved it? He had forced Haldir to impregnate him, how much more mad did it have to get, before they could lock him down in his cell once more?
The healer was anxious because Legolas’ magically enhanced pregnancy was moving along much faster than a females would. As far as the healer could tell, Legolas had almost carried the child to term, but he had only carried it half the term of a female.
Legolas woke that night, feeling nauseous and strangely tense. At first he didn't note what it was, thinking he might have eaten some bad food, and with much toil he got out of bed. He went to get some water, when he realised that these unpleasant stomach pains actually increased in frequency, and too late he realised what was happening, before a powerful contraction tore though his body.
~*~
Hours later Legolas was laying dazed in his bed, watching the tiny being who was wrapped in a blanket laying next to him, with amazement. It was a tiny baby girl, with no name as of yet. Legolas was afraid he would wake her if he touched her, she looked too fragile and perfect in her slumber, full on a bottle of milk and exhausted from being brought to the world. Maybe Haldir's wrath was worth this after all; maybe the world’s wrath would not matter, all he knew was that he had created this life, and that he would give his own, to protect hers.