author: azzy
title: King of my castle.
WIP: 2/4
summary: Haldir is summoned to Mirkwood to help Legolas regain his sanity, so he can fulfil his destiny as a member of the fellowship as Galadriel foresaw it. But what really ails the young prince of Mirkwood? And can it really be cured as Galadriel thinks?
beta: chaotic_binky
warnings: incest, character death, kink, angst, depressing themes, au.
pairrings: Surprise! yay!
Characters: Thranduil, Haldir, Legolas.
AN: This is the second, and last part of the dark fic, or the dark half of this story, next part will be the light, happy, hugging in the sunset, shitting rainbows and pink ponys part.
Haldir got Legolas out of the bath and into his new garments. Now he was sitting on the bed, his cuffs back on, turning skittles in his hands idly. ”They are really pretty, these clothes,” Legolas said with a tiny voice.
”They suit you,” Haldir said, tucking some of the still damp, blond hair behind Legolas’ ear. ”Much better than the old ones.”
”You are the best friend I ever had, Haldir,” Legolas mumbled, looking down at the puppet in his hands, with his big stupid grin.
”What about Skittles?” Haldir said jokingly.
”He never chased off the monster like you did,” Legolas said, turning his head, looking straight at Haldir.
Haldir had wanted to wait, but now seemed like the moment. Legolas was totally relaxed and fairly talkative. ”Where do you think this monster lives? In the bathroom? Under your bed? Outside?”
”Don't know, he never told me,” Legolas said with a shrug.
Haldir inched closer to Legolas, wrapping an arm around him. ”Can you tell me what he looks like, so if I see him I can chase him off forever.”
”Like a living shadow,” Legolas whispered. ”He has no face.”
”If I ever see a living shadow, I promise I will chase it off for you,” Haldir said. ”And, if you see him, and I don't, tell me.”
”I promise,” Legolas said with a little yawn.
~*~
Haldir left the sleeping Legolas and went upstairs; living shadows, and grown elves playing with hand puppets, this was all a little much. Haldir began to believe that Galadriel must have been wrong in her vision, that it could not possibly be Legolas who would aid Middle-earth in the future. But still he knew he had made a crucial breakthrough, to even have Legolas talk about what scared him so, not to mention how scared he had been of the bath; Haldir couldn't stop to wonder why. Maybe Thranduil had some of the answers to his questions. So he decided to seek out the ruler of Mirkwood in his study.
Haldir had been right; Thranduil was in his study, reading. ”Your Majesty?” Haldir asked softly, stepping into the soft light from the fireplace. ”Do you have a moment?”
Thranduil looked up from his book and smiled at Haldir. ”But of course.”
Haldir walked further into the room, until he stood in front of the fireplace. ”It is about Legolas.”
”I heard,” Thranduil said, his face darkened. ”I am so very sorry that it happened, and I don't know what I can say to you, I just hope you can forgive him.”
”What?” Haldir asked, surprised. ”Forgive who? Legolas?”
”Your shoulder,” Thranduil said with a tired expression. ”He stabbed your shoulder, did he not?”
Haldir nodded. ”Yes Your Majesty, but he is already forgiven. It is on the other hand what I wished to talk to you about.” Haldir stood tall, awaiting the King. Who, in return, gestured towards the recliner next to him. ”Please,” Thranduil said with a polite smile.
Haldir sat down and took a deep breath. ”I don't know what triggered Legolas' fit today, but I do know it had something to do with that bath room. I have not seen him having any anxiety or panic attacks in the year I have been his keeper, this was the first time, and I have never seen anything like it. He was so fast it was almost unbelievable.”
”He received training from the best Mirkwood has to offer,” Thranduil said with a slight smile. ”That is why I know how dangerous he can be, if some part of his brain remembers the training he had before he fell ill.”
”Makes sense,” Haldir agreed. ”But I realised something in that bathroom, it is not random acts of rage nor just chaotic insanity, he is afraid Your Majesty, your son is deadly afraid of a faceless monster that comes for him.” Haldir knitted his eyebrows in frustration over this half puzzle. ”And all he did when he attacked Anilie was to defend himself from his tormentor.” Haldir turned in his seat to look directly at the woodland king. ”Why is that? Did he suffer nightmares as an elfling?”
Thranduil looked like he was about to cry. ”He did,” he whispered. ”He suffered terrible nightmares; he kept going on about how the shadows were out to get him. Many were the nights where he would come to my bed, too afraid to sleep in his own.” Thranduil sat straight up in the chair and leaned in over the armrest. ”Do you believe it is these nameless fears that have come back from his childhood, to torment him?”
”I do,” Haldir admitted. ”The question is why.”
”If I knew I would tell you,” Thranduil said smiling sadly. ”I found Skittles for him when he told me he was afraid of the shadows, and wanted to come sleep in my bed.” Thranduil pinched the bridge of his nose. ”When he was little, Skittles would keep him safe, he said. He carried that damned puppet everywhere, and I couldn't very well have him sleep in my bed, what would that not look like?”
Haldir frowned. ”His bed is specially built for him, right? The first time I was there I noted that it looked too large and heavy, so it must have been built in the room where it stands.”
”Indeed,” Thranduil said, standing up and walking to a cabinet to get some glasses for them. Haldir noted he was still wearing those ridiculously over decorated robes, pearls, embroidery and several layers of fine silk, a shame and a waste of materials. ”Everything in that room is specially built for him; no tables or chairs can be moved, everything is bolted to the floor, surely you must have noticed this?” Thranduil said. When Haldir nodded, Thranduil poured two glasses of some amber coloured liquid, and came back to his chair, handing one glass to Haldir. ”The bed has a skeleton of iron, of course it is for the sole purpose of it being unbreakable, and sometimes we have not been able to calm him, so the bed has extra restraints to keep him from harming himself.”
”You mean strapping him down?” Haldir said with a disgusted expression.
”Yes,” Thranduil said, his voice filled with heavy guilt. ”Which reminds me, I have to punish him for what he did to you.”
”No don't, I am sure he meant no harm to me,” Haldir said, shaking his head to empathize his point.
”I am his father, and I am the ruler of this realm, not you, Haldir of Lórien. As much as I appreciate your aid, you have no say in this matter.” Thranduil took a sip of his glass, his expression was dull and flat, but his voice clipped.
”Yes, Your Majesty,” Haldir said loud and clear, but the words stung on his lips. What if he jeopardized it all now? If he told Legolas that he was being punished because of him? Would he still greet him with a smile afterwards? ”Forgive me.”
”All is forgiven,” Thranduil said with a casual flicker of his wrist.
Haldir swallowed his drink and moved to stand. ”Can I ask you one more thing Your Majesty?” he asked. ”Why are the chains rigged? And not just bolted?”
”A part of his punishment, is shorter chains,” Thranduil said as the most natural thing in the world.
”Very well,” Haldir said, bowing politely to the king before he left the study to retreat for the day.
~*~
Legolas was still in bed when Haldir came down. ”How are you?” he said, feeling like a traitor just greeting the young elf so merrily.
”Papa was here,” Legolas said with a slight smile. ”He was mad at me.”
Haldir nodded. ”I know,” he said, sitting down at the foot of the bed gingerly. Looking up at the canopy above, he saw the chains had been moved from the old mark, shortened so Legolas would not be able to move off the bed. ”I spoke with him last night after I left you.”
”I am really sorry,” Legolas whispered. ”I didn't mean to hurt you.” He hung his head in shame, letting the now blond hair obscure his face. ”You should have told me I was the one that hurt you,” he mumbled.
Haldir looked surprised, that was about the most 'normal' sentence he had ever heard Legolas say, and even if it was a depressing topic Haldir felt hope, maybe the Legolas that had once been the crown prince of Mirkwood was still down at the bottom of this pit of insanity. ”I saw no reason to,” Haldir said in all honesty.
”Papa said you were in pain, and had to have the healers stitch you,” Legolas admitted shamefully.
”True,” Haldir said, and then took a deep breath before he reached in under the curtain of golden hair, lifting Legolas' head with two fingers, forcing the youth to look at him. ”Your punishment, it is but for today, right?”
”Yes,” Legolas whispered.
”So let us do something that doesn't require that you can get out of bed, like drawing, would you like that?” Haldir asked, smiling as Legolas nodded forcing his hand up and down under his chin.
~*~
Legolas had been completely concentrated on his drawing, when he suddenly, casually said, ”Where were you?” When Haldir didn't answer at first, Legolas looked up at him, his eyes large and friendly, yet filled with questions with no answers. ”Skittles said you might just not have heard me.”
”No, I didn't hear you,” Haldir said, his heart sank by the tone of Legolas' voice alone. ”Did you call for me?”
Legolas nodded. ”You told me to, remember?” he leaned in over the drawing, crushing the crayon and crumbling the paper under his weight. ”If I saw him, the monster, then you said I should call for you, and you would chase him off.”
”I said that, yes,” Haldir croaked, trying to read Legolas' eyes for what he didn't say. ”I didn't hear you Legolas; had I heard you I would have been here right away.”
Legolas let out a shuddering breath, and then nodded slowly. ”I knew it would come, even before it did.”
”How come?” Haldir asked in a near whisper.
”I heard him unlock the door,” Legolas said as the most normal thing in the world.
Haldir blinked. ”What? The shadow monster unlocked your door?”
”Yes silly, it always does that,” Legolas snickered a little at Haldir's stupidity.
Haldir had to stop himself from voicing his thoughts, for he had never heard of a ghost that opened doors with keys. ”Legolas,” Haldir said seriously, noting that the young elf reacted to his stern voice. ”I need you to tell me the truth now, it is important.” Legolas nodded eagerly, easing back again, reaching for Skittles, fiddling with the puppet nervously. ”Does this shadow speak to you?”
”No,” Legolas said a matter of factly.
”Right,” Haldir grumbled. ”What does this monster do? Does he just scare you?”
”No,” Legolas said again, this time more strained. After a moment’s silence, Legolas looked up at Haldir with a big smile on his face. ”I told him, you know. I told him what you told me.” Haldir couldn't make any sense of what Legolas said, but knew it was bad, it was between the lines. Legolas nodded. ”I told him you can only do that when you are by yourself, that it is wicked.” His voice broke, his smile demure. ”You told me that remember?”
Haldir nodded, afraid to breathe.
”He did not listen,” Legolas said, saddened. ”I told him he would be in trouble when you found out! I did! I told him!”
”Y-you did good,” Haldir managed to push out between his tight bloodless lips. What was going on here? Just what was Legolas actually telling him? Haldir felt like the room suddenly got colder, darker and hostile, and there was nothing he rather wanted but to run and hide somewhere else, anywhere. Moistening his lips, Haldir took a deep shuddering breath. ”So the shadow monster does that, even if it’s not supposed to?” Haldir smiled a little strained smile at Legolas who looked mostly like he ate every single word like was it the ultimate truth. ”Maybe the monster does not know you are not supposed to share that with others?”
Legolas frowned. ”Haldir?” he asked softly, almost a whisper.
”Yes Legolas?” Haldir answered hoarsely.
”If it is wicked to touch yourself when others are watching, then is it also wicked when someone else does it?” Legolas asked, scratching in the paint of Skittles with a finger nail.
Haldir wanted to scream in the youngling’s face, but he didn't he clenched his jaw and mumbled, ”What do you mean, sweet Legolas?”
Legolas squirmed a little. ”You know what I mean,” he whispered.
And Haldir thought he did, shaking his head slowly. ”No it is not alright, not unless you want it to be,” Haldir said, and then caught himself in it. ”What am I saying? No it is not alright, that is something adults do when they love each other; it is not for elves like you”
”Oh,” Legolas sighed.
”The monster, does he..?” Haldir asked softly.
”I don't want to talk about it any more,” Legolas stated, reaching for his broken crayon.
”For the sake of... Legolas! You can't just say something like that, and then go silent on me; I need to know what this monster does when he scares you!” Haldir half yelled, slamming his fist down into the mattress so the crayons jumped, realising too late that he might frighten Legolas.
”NO!” Legolas screamed, tossing a crayon at Haldir.
Haldir sat defeated at the foot end of the bed. ”I'm sorry Legolas, I should not have yelled at you,” he said, taking a deep breath. ”I actually brought something with me today, something I wanted to show you.” Haldir was hoping to turn the mood, and hopefully Legolas would let his guard down again eventually.
”You did? What is it?”
Haldir got up from the bed and walked over to the tray he had brought, which also had Legolas' now cold soup bowl on it, he picked up a piece of cloth and unwrapped the object inside. ”A mirror. Do you remember this?” He held the mirror up with the backside to Legolas, flipping it back and forth. Seeing Legolas smile at the mirror, Haldir smiled as well and came back to the bed and sat down. ”This, this is a mirror that used to belong to you, I took it from your old room upstairs.”
Legolas' eyebrows knitted, as was he trying to recall the mirror; he let his fingers travel down over the ornate back. ”My rooms,” he mumbled.
”Yes,” Haldir replied. ”But it was not really why I brought it. I brought it so you could see yourself, and just how pretty you are in your new clothes.” Haldir flipped the mirror and let Legolas look at himself in it.
Legolas' eyes widened. ”I know him,” he breathed, running a hand down over his face. ”Is that really me?”
”It is,” Haldir laughed. ”See how pretty you are?”
Legolas apparently felt no shame when he nodded. ”I am pretty.” He suddenly looked at Haldir, and it seemed like a fog lifted from his face, and a more intelligent shine was in his eyes, instead of the dull, disengaging look they normally had. ”They all told me that, but I never believed it,” he said, his voice soft and confident. ”Why didn't I believe them? I had this mirror; I could just have looked at myself.”
Haldir swallowed hard, this was what he had been waiting for all along. ”Maybe you didn't feel pretty inside?”
”Maybe,” Legolas whispered. ”Maybe I was wicked?” he asked, half to his mirror image, half to Haldir.
~*~
The moment had gone just as quickly as it had appeared, and now Haldir was on his way to the kitchen with Legolas' empty bowl. His thoughts raced; he should talk to Thranduil, and tell the king that he suspected that this monster that Legolas was so afraid of was indeed very much alive and real, possibly molesting his son, it would be no easy task. Anilie walked into the kitchen, seeing Haldir standing deep in thought by the window. ”Is everything as it should be, my lord?” she asked tentatively.
Haldir whipped around, relieved when he saw the small female elf in front of him. ”I don't know,” he sighed. ”Did you by any chance know Prince Legolas from before, before he turned into that childlike shell down there?”
Anilie nodded. ”Vaguely,” she said. ”I remember him well.” She stepped closer to Haldir so he would hear her whisper, ”He was a cruel master, and a terribly bad tempered elf.” She nodded to emphasise her point ”Yes, yes. He was as cold as he was beautiful.”
”Really?” Haldir asked, now completely thrown off target, having a hard time imagining that sweet smiling big elfling in the cellar with a cold, cruel prince. ”Did he have any friends?”
Anilie shook her head. ”No, he didn't care for friends, my lord.” She looked over her shoulder to see if anyone was within hearing range. ”The king paints a different picture, I am sure. But I assure you that none of us is eager to have the prince back to his old self, we prefer him in shackles in the golden cage.”
Haldir was utterly baffled. ”He must have known 'someone' here, a tutor perhaps?”
”Well,” Anilie whispered. ”Talk to Gilder, but you didn't hear it from me.”
”Of course I didn't,” Haldir reassured her with a warm smile.
~*~
Gilder proved harder to find than Haldir had thought; he was quite the elusive elf, spending most time in solitude. When he finally did find him, he was sitting at the edge of the forest, sharpening his knives. ”Are you Gilder, good sir?” Haldir asked, knowing the answer already.
”Perhaps,” Gilder said. ”Depends on who's asking.”
”Well, you don't owe me money.” Haldir laughed, not sure what to say.
”I know I don't, Haldir of Lórien.” Gilder said with a menacing grin. ”I am Gildir, alright. What do you want from me? Must be important with all that work you put into finding me.”
”It is,” Haldir sighed, squatting down into Gildir's eye level. ”I am told that you were the one who knew Prince Legolas the best, before he was locked up.”
”When he was actually the crown prince of Mirkwood, and not just that atrocity down there, forgotten and hidden for all,” Gildir said, a sarcastic smile tugging the corner of his mouth. ”Then yes, I knew him very well, my lord.”
Haldir raked a hand through his hair. ”What was he like?”
Gildir shrugged, ”He was just like Thranduil wanted him to be, he had been moulded and guided all his life, the rumour even has it that old Thranduil got rid of the prince's mother because she disagreed with him.” Haldir nodded, feeling his skin crawl, how could he have missed that? How had he not noticed? The eagerness that Legolas had when it came to pleasing his father, eerie. Admittedly every child wanted to please their parent, but he could see what Gildir meant.
”Did he rebel against it?” Haldir asked.
”No, actually not,” Gildir said. ”But one thing struck me as really odd, only weeks before he had his very first 'episode', he did say some really strange things; we weren't really close, so he never really confided anything to me. Me being the servant and him being the crown prince and all.”
”What strange things did he say?” Haldir asked, inching closer to Gildir, who instantly lowered his voice just like Anilie had. ”He told me that the shadows were moving, whispering,” Gildir leaned closer to Haldir. ”He looked sick, haunted and deadly pale; in the end he had to give up on joining me for patrol because he couldn't even muster the energy to get out of his bed.”
”That 'is' most strange indeed,” Haldir whispered back. ”The king said that Legolas had seemed listless and bitter, at the end.”
Gildir laughed softly. ”No my lord, it was like someone drained the very life out of him, even his eyes and hair were dull, not bright and shiny like it had been before.”
~*~
Haldir tossed and turned that night, unable to find his rest. Should he go to Legolas? Was he alone, bound to that vile bed, afraid? How he wished he could make sense of his information, something was wrong, so very, very wrong. He couldn't help but be disturbed by the fact that the servants story was so completely different from the king’s and Legolas' own.
He nearly dropped out of the bed when he heard the bell, loud and alarming. He quickly got out of his bed, wearing nothing but his sleeping pants, even his hair was in disarray from tossing and turning. He flung the door open to the hall, looking at the elves who all ran back and forth outside like headless chickens. ”What happened?” Haldir asked. When no one answered, he grabbed the nearest elf, forcing him to stop. ”What happened?” he repeated.
”It is the prince, my lord,” The visibly terrified elf said. ”He got free, and the whole east wing is on fire.”
”What?” Haldir gasped, pushing the elf away. He quickly ran towards the east wing; it was where Legolas' room was located in the cellar. Got loose? How did he get loose? The only ones with keys were the king and himself.
Arriving at the east wing, he could hear the flames roar, and feel the heat radiate from the hall, even though the fire was further down. Haldir turned the corner and ran towards the cellar, against better judgement, and instinct, which would have led him outside. ”Legolas!” he yelled.
No answer came, and truthfully Haldir did not count on finding Legolas down there. When he got to the golden doors, he found them open, and looking inside he found it empty. ”Legolas,” he cried, but no answer came. Looking over at the bed he noticed that the shackles were hoisted high in the air, Legolas would not have been able to lie down, he would have been crouching or kneeling. And then, then he noticed the blood. Was that how he had gotten free? Crushing his own hands?
Haldir decided not to spend more time in this monstrosity of a room, and quickly ran up again. The king’s study was harder to get to, flames as high as himself were licking against the wooden walls, feeding off the old structure of the wing. ”Legolas!” Haldir yelled, ducking down so as not to be burned by the flames crawling across the ceiling. It would make sense for Legolas to run to his father’s study, after all, according to Thranduil, this had been the only place he had felt safe as an elfling.
”Legolas,” Haldir screamed from the top of his lungs. He had to find him, and he had to find him now! He heard the commotion, knowing that every elf in Mirkwood had come to extinguish the fire, but Haldir was afraid they would not be fast enough, and that the ceiling would collapse on them. But as he came to the study, he found the door open, and once inside he saw something he had not counted on. Legolas sat in Thranduil's armchair, staring at the fire that was consuming the bookshelf next to the fireplace. And on the floor lay someone dressed in black robes. ”Legolas?” Haldir whispered, carefully stepping closer to the elf in the chair. ”Are you hurt?” he asked.
Legolas turned his head and looked dully up at Haldir. ”The monster was not a shadow after all,” he whispered. ”I pushed, and my hand did not go through. It was solid, it was solid Haldir, and I think I killed it.” He smiled sadly at Haldir.
Haldir looked down at figure on the floor, and with a loud groan managed to flip it over. The blood had made a large pool, and something was in it, twinkling. Haldir picked up the mystery piece, only to find it was glass from a mirror. By Eru, the mirror, he had forgotten to take it with him earlier. Not until now had Haldir noticed that the cursed mirror was embedded deep in the black figure's neck, like a deadly blade with a thousand shards. ”You know, Legolas, I suspected this, I suspected that someone was feeding your fear for the dark, but I was not sure.”
Legolas didn't answer; he just stared down at the figure on the floor.
When Haldir pulled off the black mask, he wished he had never done so, he wished he had never come here. And the next thing he heard was Legolas screaming his heart out, for on the floor lay the king of Mirkwood, dead in a pool of blood with tiny deadly stars in it. Haldir felt how nausea overwhelmed him, and he had to turn from the sight and lost control over his stomach, vomiting on the floor. It had been his own father all along! And suddenly many of the pieces fit. The truth was so horrifying that Haldir would not have blamed Legolas had he lost his mind in that very moment. But a loud cracking noise from further down the hall brought Haldir back to the current situation. ”Legolas,” Haldir yelled. ”Legolas we have to leave.” But Legolas did not respond; he was sobbing, trying to caress his father’s face, but instead just smearing blood around on the pale skin.
When Haldir tried to shake him to life, wanting him to deal with the reality of the east wing burning, Legolas just screamed, ”I WANT SKITTLES!”