Solitude stands by the window
She turns her head as I walk in the room
I can see by her eyes she's been waiting
Standing in the slant of the late afternoon

And she turns to me with her hand extended
Her palm is split with a flower with a flame

Solitude stands in the doorway
And I'm struck once again by her black silhouette
By her long cool stare and her silence
I suddenly remember each time we've met

-Susanne Vega  Solitude standing


1.Solitude Standing



Erestor sat at his oak desk; he looked at the entry he had made in his diary, reading it over as he waited for the ink to dry. He opened the desk drawer to search for yet another bottle of ink, because the one on the desk had just run dry. Instead his fingers encountered something he had not felt between his fingers for some time. Erestor picked it up and twirled it between his fingers. His locket. Somewhere in his heart he had wished the damn thing lost, and still he smiled as he pried it apart. He looked at the inscription inside, and frowned. This was his wedding gift, the token his husband had given him on that day they had spoken their wows. The dark-haired elf sighed as he remembered that day. He still bore a scar behind his ear to show for it. Erestor closed the locket and tossed it in his desk drawer again, and decided that the ink was dry in his journal; he closed the journal and placed it in his drawer as well. “I am not your flower,” he whispered as he slammed the desk drawer shut.

He rose to blow out all the candles but one, and walked to his bed. He sat down on one side. And a smile crept back onto his face. He thought of Glorfindel, the charismatic blond with the characteristic little smile crinkles in the corners of his eyes, something he had gotten after his time spent in Mandos, but something that most elves envied him. His smiling blue eyes and his contagious laughter. Erestor liked to pretend that he was immune to the Elda’s attempts to befriend him, but sitting here in the dim light in the privacy of his own bedroom, he had to admit that he was not. Glorfindel tried his hardest, the Glorfindel way, to breach all the walls Erestor had built around himself. And the dark-haired elf couldn’t help but to let down his guard when it came to Glorfindel. What he wouldn’t give to be his friend, but he couldn’t. Not the way Glorfindel wanted, he knew, and he hoped Glorfindel knew it. But never the less, he found himself extremely flattered over the attention that the blond was giving him.

Blowing out the last candle, Erestor stood up and shrugged off his robe, and flopped back on his bed. One of the twins, Elladan, had come to him today and had acted all strange and clumsy, trying to strike up a conversation, and Erestor had gone along, tormenting the youth with a playful grin. He knew what it was all about. Elladan wanted to ask him to the dance at the midsummer’s feast; maybe he should just have pity and ask Elladan himself.

Pulling the covers over his weary body, Erestor couldn’t help but feel his bed large and empty. Maybe it really was time to move on. Not since his husband. and not before, had he shared his bed with anyone, but the lack of body contact and closeness was getting to him. Or was he just glad he wasn’t bothered? He turned restlessly onto his stomach and sighed. No matter what, tonight his bed seemed impossibly big, empty and cold.
He closed his eyes, and tried to relax, but instead the lively blue eyes kept popping up in his mind. He tried to will the image away, but all he got for his effort was that his mind wandered to the soft full lips, and the slender neck. For a second he wondered what it would be like to be the one to kiss that soft skin, what the blond would smell like, and what he would sound like with his body buried deep inside him.

Erestor turned to his back in a annoyed move, and tried with extra effort to make this mirage disappear from his dream landscape. But Glorfindel seemed to have invaded his mind and his treacherous body this night. A little timidly the dark-haired elf snaked a hand down and caressed his beginning hardness. He shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t. It just seemed wrong to touch himself while thinking of the blond. But his body didn’t seem to listen, as his member twitched in anticipation of the gentle touch, craving more. Erestor wrapped his fingers around the slick flesh and slowly started to pump it, feeling deliriously naughty and aflame. His other hand found his lips, tracing his own outlines, before he sucked on his fingers, closing his eyes. He saw the mane of golden hair spread between his legs. Whimpering softly, he imagined a wet tongue trace the folds around the head of his shaft.

The blond looked up, and smiled at his, and to Erestor’s horror, this was not Glorfindel. It was the blond who had once given him his locket. This was his long gone husband! Erestor gasped and sat up in the bed, covered with sweat, panting softly. Not even in his fantasies would this damned elf leave him alone. “Leave me alone,” he whispered as if to a ghost. He pulled the covers up over himself again, as he slowly lay down on the bed once more. His erection was disappearing. But the unfulfilled feeling of a release not achieved would not leave him alone, and his whole body tingled from it.
Leaning back with one arm planted behind him on his pillow, he pushed off the covers with the other, wrapped his fingers around his now half flaccid member, and started to stroke it with hard and sure strokes. Feeling the warmth spread throughout his body once more, he closed his eyes, Glorfindel gone  replaced by other blue eyes, these one more steel grey, and the smile less warm. But otherwise the same fair golden hair, and flawless skin. The elf bit his lip, as he pumped faster, lost in his own fantasy, and before he knew it he spiralled down, gasping with sharp intakes of air, ejaculation on his own hand and stomach.

Not bothering to clean up, he just threw himself into the bed, and pulled the covers up to his chin, curling into a little ball. This release that had promised such safe sleep, now only had his eyes swimming in tears. The image of his husband would haunt him to the end of time. And as a ghost would whisper in his ear, he heard the  voice from long ago whisper, “First and last and always, yours, your flower,” in his ear. Erestor gave in to his tears, remembering his own wedding vow. Why did the Valar permit that to keep tormenting him? Was he never to even think about another lover, no matter what his heart told him?

In the morning, Erestor braided his hair into a single plait as he always did, and left his chambers to join the others for breakfast. Long before he got there he heard Glorfindel’s laughter roar down the corridor, and his lips tugged upwards in a smile. He straightened his face before he entered the dining halls, where the elves of Rivendell were gathered around the breakfast table.

Elrond smiled as his chief advisor entered. “Good morning to you,” he said, apparently in a jovial mood this morning.

“Good morning, my lord,” Erestor answered and sat down on his chair, next to his blond nemesis. Glorfindel turned and smiled at him, reaching for the teapot and offering his friend some. And with a smile Erestor nodded and lifted his cup so Glorfindel could fill it.
“So, Chief Advisor Erestor,” Glorfindel started, “’tis a fine morning, is it not?”
Erestor nodded and took a little sip of his tea.

“And midsummer’s feast is almost upon us!” Glorfindel continued. “It is going to be absolutely breathtaking!”

“Of course, it always is, Lord Glorfindel,” Erestor replied and buttered a piece of bread.

“Did you see the beautiful paper lanterns and flower arrangements?” the blond continued.

“Yes,” Erestor just answered back. He didn’t know why, but something stopped him from indulging himself in conversation with Glorfindel. He wanted to, but didn’t know the right words. And so he had had to just learn to enjoy the infamous Balrog slayer’s morning enthusiasm. And as Glorfindel chattered on, Erestor and the rest of the elves finished their breakfast.

Later, back in his office. He had used an hour to search for a book that listed all those damn binary rivers in Middle-earth, before and now. He sighed; it was not there. How was he to see if this map was correct if he could not double check?

He left his office and walked into the library, where he found Elladan, who almost tossed a book behind the couch in surprise. Erestor smiled to himself. He had a fairly good idea of what kind of book it was Elladan would pick up in Elrond’s vast library, and it was not the binary rivers of Middle-earth. “Elladan,” he said, moving over to sit next to the youth, inwardly grinning like an idiot at Elladan’s facial expression. “Did you by any chance see a book on rivers here?” he asked.

Elladan shook his head a bit too eagerly. “No,” he whispered with a flustered expression.

“Very well then,” Erestor said, and made a move to stand. Then he sat down again. “Elladan, penneth, I was wondering if you would mind dancing with me at the midsummer’s feast. I have no one to dance with, and I will be ridiculed by half the household if I sit out one more dance.” He knew it was a lie, but if this made it easier on Elladan, then he figured it was all right.

The elder twin son of Elrond nodded and bit his lip. “I would very much like to do that,” he whispered.
 
Erestor patted Elladan’s thigh with a grin. “See you there then,” he said as he stood up. Elladan seemed about to flee the library, and Erestor stood with his back to the young elf. “Don’t forget your book, young Elladan.”

Elladan stopped at a dead halt, and turned around, leaning behind the couch and picking up the book. “Thank you, Erestor,” he said softly, before he walked out of the library with a bit more dignity than before.

 


 

AN:  with all the recent fanon discussion I might add here just to be on the safe side, that I borrowed Bone Fauna's binding ceremony theory. Not for any other reason than I love it.

_____________________________

 

Solitary brother

Is there still a part of you that wants to live

Solitary sister

Is there still a part of you that wants to give

Solitary brother

Is there still a part of you that wants to live

Solitary sister

Is there still a part of you that wants to give

If we try

And live our lives

The way we wanna be

There's no other love, there's no other love, there's no other love

there is no other love no other love like ours

 

Seal ­ Killer

_____________________

 

Chapter 2 ­- it's the loneliness that's the killer

 

He didn't quite know why Elrond had summoned him to his office. This was most unorthodox, and on the day before the midsummer feast? Elrond had to know that the entire household was turned upside down, and that it was hard for Erestor to find a moment to leave his chores.

 

He knocked the huge oak door, and upon hearing Elrond asking him to enter, he opened the door with its squeaking hinges. "My lord?" Erestor asked, looking very confused. "You wanted to see me?"

 

"Ah, yes Erestor!" Elrond cooed and clapped his hands together, rubbing the palms together, unnerving Erestor. "Please sit," the lord of Rivendell said, gesturing towards a chair.

 

The dark clad advisor promptly sat on the wooden chair assigned to him, and looked up at his lord. "My lord Elrond, I do not understand what can be this urgent?"

 

"Be at ease, Erestor," Elrond said with a smile and poured himself some more hot tea. He offered Erestor some with a gesture, but the advisor shook his head. "Very well," Elrond sighed, "What I wanted to discuss with you is a somewhat delicate matter."

 

Erestor opened and closed his mouth in surprise. Elladan! It had to be Elladan! He had invited the elf to dance with him ­ Ai, he had known he should not have done so! "My lord," Erestor said quickly, wringing his hands in his lap as they started to sweat, "I assure you that I did not imply anything…" his voice became a whisper, "improper."

 

Elrond raised a brow and just looked at Erestor, who feverishly explained about the invitation.

 

"its the first I heard of Elladan's plans for the feast, my friend," Elrond said with a quizzical smile.

 

"Oh," Erestor just breathed. "Now you do, my lord," he said with a strained smile, not knowing if he should feel at ease or more tense.

 

"No, what I wanted to discuss with you was our golden Balrog slayer," Elrond said, leaning slightly in over the desk.

 

"Glorfindel?" Erestor exclaimed softly. "Why on Arda would you want to discuss his lordship with me?"

 

"Because it has something to do with you, my friend," Elrond said with a sly smile, putting emphasis on friend. "Surely you must have noticed, Erestor."

 

"Noticed 'what'?" Erestor said, raising a perfect, black eyebrow.

 

"Do not tell me you are that dense when it comes to matters of the heart, my friend!" Elrond said in a teasing tone.

 

"What? Glorfindel? No…I…ah…" Erestor's voice trailed off. He 'had' noticed, but had dismissed the thought, and so he kept it to his own nightly fantasies.

 

"Come now, Erestor, you were the first one to warn us of the impending inflation in the value of the mortals’ gold, the first one to foresee the devastating draught's effect on the Mirkwood trading routes… now do not tell me you have not noticed that Glorfindel is trying to befriend you."

 

"My lord" Erestor tried. "I cannot see what these things have in common, and I assure you that I have not had, and will never have any lover’s interest in Lord Glorfindel."

 

Elrond got up from his chair, and started to pace the floor. "Forgive me, my friend. I am aware that it is not my place to speak of these things," he stopped right in front of the baffled advisor, "but I do believe it is time for you to move on."

 

Erestor looked away from the ruler of Rivendell. "I am still bound. There is no need for this discussion at all, my friend," he said, sounding chillier than he had intended. But Elrond knew this, and had even known his mate, how could be possibly be suggesting what he did?

 

"I know, Erestor," Elrond said and reached out to grip the desk, leaning against it on his left arm, looking at Erestor in the chair, "but he is no longer alive, and you are free from your vows."

 

"You don't know that!" Erestor barked, not even thinking of how he was sounding. "His body was never recovered from the battlefield! I had an empty pyre for my mate. You were there, and you know this to be true! I am still bound to him."

 

"Calm down Erestor, It was never my intention to slight your loss," Elrond said in a soothing voice. "All I was saying was that Arato has been considered dead and gone for decades, and yet you have not taken another lover." Elrond lay his free hand on Erestor's shoulder. "Your period of mourning is long done."

 

Erestor turned his hand, tracing the fine scar in his palm with his fingertips. "I made an oath, I bound myself to him, until the death," he smiled to himself, "be it his death or mine."

 

"Dear, dear Erestor," Elrond said softly, squeezing his cherished advisor’s shoulder gently, "no one expects you to uphold such an oath when your mate is no longer on Arda."

 

"I made an oath, Elrond," Erestor said in a small voice.

 

"Erestor, you are dear friend of mine, you stood by my side when my brother died, and yet again when my wife decided to leave. I only ask you this, do you not see the attraction in Glorfindel's eyes?"

 

"Aye," Erestor whispered, still mesmerised by his own scar.

 

Elrond knew his battle was lost, but he continued on relentlessly. "Do you not see his body language yearning for your presence?" he asked.

 

Erestor's mouth became a fine line, as he bit back, "You have not taken a mate since Lady Celebrian left either."

 

"True," Elrond confessed.

 

"Now if you will forgive me, my lord Elrond, I must attend to my duties," Erestor said with a stern voice, and stood up from his chair.

 

"But of course, my friend," Elrond said, holding back an annoyed groan. Why did he not get trough to his stubborn advisor? He did not have to be alone anymore, company was there, right under his nose, and he saw that and yet refused to act upon it. Elrond looked after Erestor as he walked out of the study with long angry strides. He knew how lonely he must be feeling inside, and didn't understand why he lashed out at anyone who tried to get close to him.

 

Erestor did not return to his duties; instead, he retreated to the library and closed the door. He sat down on the large divan located in the middle of the room, and sighed. Why had Elrond asked him something like 'that'? Truth be told, he had noticed Glorfindel's subtle advances. But he just had to decline; he just 'had' to. Yes, it was true, just as he had told Elrond, he was still bound, but Arato was not just anyone, he was Glorfindel's elder brother! Elrond knew this, and yet he had urged him to accept the golden-haired elf. Erestor closed his eyes and remembered the damned bonding ceremony. He remembered he had stood there next to Arato. Back then his husband to come had been a stunning elf, beautiful and valiant. And Glorfindel? Had he even been there? Yes, yes he had. Standing next to Ecthelion, he had been there. Had he harboured those feelings for Erestor back then? He knew that Ecthelion had been saddened that he was never able to catch the golden lord’s attention long enough to speak words of love. By Eru! What if it had always been there and he had never noticed?

 

The sun had set before Glorfindel came into the library, searching for Erestor. He smiled when he saw the advisor sleeping on the divan. He squatted down next to the raven-haired beauty and shook his shoulder lightly. "Erestor?" he whispered, "you should not sleep here."

 

Erestor slowly opened his eyes and looked up at those same merry blue eyes that haunted his dreams at night. Though now they were filled with worry. "Oh," Erestor murmured and slowly move to sit up. "I was not aware that I had fallen asleep here."

 

"You look tired, my friend," Glorfindel said softly, as he sat down next to the dark-haired advisor. "Did you not sleep well last night?" he asked. But upon seeing the advisor’s somewhat annoyed expression, he quickly added, "Forgive me, I did not intend to pry. It is really none of my business."

 

Erestor sighed and shook his head, running a hand over his sleep tussled hair. "No, you are right, I did not sleep well last night."

 

Glorfindel smiled gently. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "I take it that you are, since you missed supper."

 

"I missed supper? Oh my," the raven-haired elf whispered.

 

"I didn't get supper either, and I know the kitchen maid set some aside for me, and for all I know for you as well. So will you join me for a late supper, my friend?" the golden elf said with a warm smile. He looked at Erestor and his disarranged state, and he thought it was the most erotic sight he had seen in a long time. "Come on, say yes."

 

Erestor nodded slowly and rose to his feet. "Yes, let us hope she put a lot a side, for I am hungry like a wolf," he said with an embarrassed smile.

 

And food in abundance there was, more than enough for the both of them. Glorfindel had had this brilliant idea of bringing a bottle of Elrond’s wine for them to share. And Erestor couldn't help but feel that sitting here in the kitchen, eating, joking and drinking wine in the dim light from a candelabra, took thousands of years from them both. This reminded him of home, and had Ecthelion come barging through the door, he would not have been surprised one bit.

 

"Erestor?" Glorfindel said with a strangely serious tone, "did you just get this deja-vu feeling as well? Like we did this before?"

 

Erestor smiled and nodded. "And we have, my friend," he finally whispered, before taking a large gulp of his wine.

 

Glorfindel tilted his head somewhat and looked at Erestor. "Do you… Do you really think he is dead?" he suddenly asked.

 

The dark-haired elf paled at these words, but after a time he nodded. "Yes, I think he is dead," he finally whispered, somewhat afraid that uttering his name would bring upon them an angry ghost from the past.

 

"Erestor?" Glorfindel whispered back, "Is this perhaps the reason that we never became friends again?" The blond blushed and looked away, very unlike his character. "Like we used to be, remember?"

 

"Yes, I remember," Erestor said softly as he reached to fill their glasses yet again, having the feeling that this discussion needed wine. "And perhaps it is, I do not know. Maybe we just got older."

 

Glorfindel nodded and took a sip of the clear fluid. "Perhaps," he repeated.

 

"Do you remember when we did this the last time?" Erestor suddenly said. "I do not know how much of your memory is intact from your time in Mandos."

 

"Yes, I remember," Glorfindel whispered and smiled. "It was a thunderstorm, and Arato was out on patrol, when Ecthelion's personal guard came here and told us that there had been some obstacle on the road, what and why he didn't know. And we sat in the kitchen having honey tea and bread with raisins in it, like two frightened maidens."

 

"Exactly!" Erestor chuckled.

 

"But they were all right," Glorfindel said, "and he returned home at daybreak."

 

"That he did," Erestor murmured, looking at Glorfindel to see if he also remembered that Erestor had been dragged out of the kitchen by his hair, and no one had reacted. Erestor remembered that Glorfindel had just turned his head and looked away. But if the golden-haired elf remembered, he didn't show it.

 

Glorfindel wanted to ask Erestor if he perhaps held any resentment that he had not been able to keep his brother safe under that last battle they had fought together. He wanted to ask if it was because Arato was lost there in the piles of dead bodies, and that was the reason that they had never become as close again as they used to be. But he didn't ask, instead he raised his glass to a toast "to my brother, the valiant," he said smiling.

 

A taste of bile rose in Erestor's mouth, but he kept it back and smiled. "To Arato," he said and toasted with Glorfindel.

 

When the wine was gone, and they both felt a warm drowsy buzz, from both the food and the wine, Erestor rose from the table. "My friend, we have a long day tomorrow, and I need rest. I suggest you do the same."

 

The golden elf nodded and stood up also. "Dance with me tomorrow," Glorfindel said and smiled a brilliant self-assured smile, fueled by the nice conversation and alcohol.

 

"Say what?" Erestor said and turned to look at Glorfindel's goofy grin. "I could have sworn you asked me to dance."

 

"And I did, tomorrow." Glorfindel said. "Will you?"

 

Erestor shook his head, amused ."I promised a dance to our little princeling Elladan too.

 

"But you don't have to dance with him the whole night," Glorfindel said in a slightly whining tone, that annoyed even himself.

 

"No, that I don't," the dark beauty said. "Yes, I shall dance a dance with you, my friend, though I am afraid I am not dancer anymore."

 

"Don't worry about it, it is like riding a horse," Glorfindel grinned.

 

"Very well then, I promise to step on your toes, come tomorrow evening," Erestor said with a smile.

 

"Wonderful!"

 

And with that Erestor let the heavy wooden door slam shut behind

 


 

AN: Alright, I was made aware that it was not Bone Faunas binding ceremony theory, but a spin off, off Ilye’s – so credit should go to her, id still want to credit both, for no other reason than I want to. – and again, this is made for my girl EJ, I really hope you like it.

_____________________________________

 

Thank you for holding me
And saying "I could be"
Thank you for saying, "Baby"
Thank you for holding me
Thank you for breaking my heart
Thank you for tearing me apart
Now I've a strong, strong heart
Thank you for breaking my heart

Sinéad O’Connor - Thank you for hearing me

 

_______________________________

Chapter 3 - Thank you for staying with me.



Erestor sat down on a bench; he had danced more and had more fun than he remembered having in years. Elladan had turned out to be quite the dancer, and it had actually been with a little bit of jealousy that he had handed Elladan on to another elf. Now as he sat there and
watched the elder son of Elrond dance, he could see why, even if he would always feel in his heart that Elrond’s children was but wee ones, that was not the case, not anymore. Elladan was every bit grown up; his brain had just not registered it yet. Erestor had to hide his wide grin; this was a most wonderful time of one’s life, and he couldn’t help but be a little bit envious of the twins, who were just about to discover the world for real.

“Erestor?” a voice said, shaking the advisor from his musings.

“Yes, I am sorry,” he said, turning to see Elrond with two cups in his hands. He handed Erestor one and sat down next to him on the bench. “Why are you not out dancing, my lord?”

Elrond chuckled, and smiled brightly. “I am not much of a dancer.” He crooked his head and looked at Elladan and the elf who danced together. “Not like my son, I am afraid, he must have gotten that gene from his mother,” the elf lord jested.

Erestor smiled. “Yes, I have to admit that young Elladan proved to be quite the dancer.”

“So are you,” Elrond said with a smug smile.

 

“But, thank you,” Erestor said, taking a sip of his warm wine. “’Tis is a wonderful feast.”

“As always,” Elrond mused.

 

“Yes, as always” Erestor repeated and looked up, and to his slightly annoyance he found himself searching the crowd for one single golden haired elf.

“He is over there” Elrond said and nodded in the direction of the large table filled with food and drink.

Erestor would have loved to give some snappy comeback, but instead he just looked in the direction that Elrond nodded, and there he was, Glorfindel. He was discussing something with Elrond’s assistant, and from the look of it the poor young assistant seemed quite taken with the golden lord.

“You’d better hurry, my friend,” Elrond whispered.

“Excuse me?” Erestor whispered back.

“They seem to get along just fine, those two,” Elrond said with a little lecturing voice. “You wouldn’t want to see him dance with Glorfindel, would you?”

If it was the wine, or if it was this strange magic moment, Erestor didn’t know, but he opened his mouth to answer Elrond, when the young elf toasted with Glorfindel, and Erestor clearly saw those deep blue eyes smile at the young elf over the brim of the cup. “What harm could come from that?” he said, trying not to wring his hands in his lap, from frustration. Elrond was right, he couldn’t stand it. He didn’t like to watch Glorfindel flirt with that other elf at all. “Hmmm,” Elrond said looking thoughtful. “He is a handsome, and might I add young, elf.”

“Do you really take Glorfindel to be that shallow?” Erestor groaned and took a sip from his cup. He knew how stupid that sounded to his own ears. Of course Elrond took Glorfindel to be that shallow, he himself took Glorfindel to be that shallow. Elrond didn’t even answer, he just smiled. “Your drink, my friend,” he just said.

At first Erestor didn’t understand what he meant, but then he noticed that he had tilted his goblet, and now the wine soaked his robe. “Ai!” he exclaimed and stood up. He started to try and brush the liquid off, to no avail, and Elrond seemed to find this highly amusing.

“Why don’t you just go over there, Erestor?” he said as he handed his advisor his own goblet of wine.

“Because, because…” Erestor stated childishly, and then smiled as he shook his head, amused at his own reaction. He sounded even younger than young Elladan. “Erestor,” Elrond said in a parental chiding tone. And nodded towards the couple at the end of the buffet
table.

“All right,” Erestor sighed and sent Elrond a strange look. Oddly, this was causing butterflies to rise in his stomach, anticipation mingled with fear, and he felt his mouth go dry and the gentle buzz the alcohol had given him seemed almost too much. He bit his lip and looked like he was 1000 years younger than he was. “But what if he doesn’t want me to interfere?” he asked.

“I thought we already discussed this, Erestor,” Elrond said. “Of course he wants you to go over there.” He reached out towards his advisor, and grabbed his hand. “Listen, Erestor, he might be many years younger than you, but there is only one you, and I know how
difficult this is for you, but as your friend, I tell you that you should go and mingle, now or never.”

Erestor just stood there and listened and in the end he nodded. “I shall take your advice,” he whispered and smiled at Elrond, as he squeezed his hand, before he gulped down the rest of the wine in the goblet that had been Elrond’s own a few minutes ago. And then he let go of the lord of Imladris and slowly walked over towards the couple at the end of the table. For a minute he wondered if he should just pretend to gather something to eat, or get himself a new drink. But that would just be too pathetic, for he knew why he was there. He couldn’t stand that his assistant was chatting up Glorfindel. But the reason why he couldn’t stand that scared him; he didn’t feel anything for Glorfindel, did he? Maybe he did. And that was the hardest thing he had had to admit.

He ‘did’ get himself yet another drink before he ventured further down to the couple; he cleared his throat and waited.

“Erestor!” Glorfindel exclaimed and smiled a bright happy smile. “I never thought your dance with young master Elladan would end, and that I would get too drunk to even dance as I promised.”

Erestor smiled back. “Oh, he soon tired of me stepping on his toes,” the dark-haired elf chuckled.

“I doubt that was the case, my friend,” Glorfindel said with a smug grin, as he looked over Erestor’s shoulder, seeing Elladan dancing with a third elf. “He seems to be quite the popular dance partner this eve,” Glorfindel murmured to himself.

Erestor chose to not answer to this and just sipped his drink and nodded at his assistant “Good evening, enjoying yourself?” he said with a polite smile. And the assistant just nodded and smiled politely back.


“Come, Erestor,” Glorfindel said. “Yesterday you promised me a dance, and I intend to hold you to that promise.” Erestor smiled, and Glorfindel smiled back. He had noticed the rather cold air between the advisor and the apprentice, and he had in his slightly drunk, teasing mood, felt like letting Erestor squirm some, before dragging off with him to dance. This dance that Erestor had promised him, had been the sole reason that he had even come to this party.

Erestor hid his little triumphant smile as Glorfindel dragged off with him, and they mingled among the dancers, and as Glorfindel grabbed Erestor’s hand and waist, the dark advisor was surprised for a moment over the warm smooth hands. How could Glorfindel’s hands be smooth? They should be rough from all that fighting and what not. Maybe that had happened in Mandos? Maybe Mandos
had given Glorfindel back his infinite self? And who was he to argue? But as Glorfindel suddenly twirled him about to the music all thoughts of that kind fled Erestor’s mind.

As they danced, Erestor faintly noticed that Glorfindel’s hands rested on his hips. He knew he should object, but he didn’t. He just looked up, and looked directly into Glorfindel’s smiling eyes, and for a second Erestor wished things were different. He wished that he could turn back time to way before that damnable day of his bonding in Gondolin. Why had it not been these smiling eyes he had met? Erestor felt himself blush slightly under Glorfindel’s gaze, and he watched the golden-haired elf smile even wider.
_________________

The dance was over, and most elves had retired, but in the shadows were two figures still standing. Erestor and Glorfindel. Erestor had long ago taken his hand back, and he found that he was a little sad that he had. It had felt nice to hold Glorfindel’s hand. It felt right, and made him tingle inside, in the strangest way, something he had not had happen to him since he was just of age. It tasted of things to come.
“Erestor?” Glorfindel said, as he emptied the last goblet of the party. “May I walk you to your chamber?”

Erestor smiled a crooked little smile and nodded. He crossed his arms over his chest in lack of somewhere else to put them, but at the last second he became aware of how his body language must seem, and he let his arms fall to each side again.

They walked side-by-side towards the house. “I really enjoyed this feast,” Glorfindel whispered as they made their way into the main hall.

“So did I,” Erestor answered and turned up the large spiral staircase. “You are quite the dancer, Glorfindel.”

“Oh, but so are you,” Glorfindel hurried to say, and patted the other elf’s shoulder in camaraderie. What he really wanted to do was to slip that arm around the dark haired elf’s shoulder and hold him tightly as they walked on. Just to walk such a way with Erestor would make him happy. But now was not the time, it seemed, and Glorfindel, who had given up all hope of ever courting his hearts desire, suddenly felt more bold. He smiled to himself as they reached Erestor’s door. They both stopped and Erestor turned to face Glorfindel. “I am glad I came,” he said softly. “I really enjoyed myself.”

“I found you to be really pleasant company as well, Erestor,” Glorfindel murmured. And as Erestor turned to open his door, Glorfindel moved closer, and when Erestor’s door squeaked open, and the dark-haired elf turned around again to look at him, he grabbed his heart’s desire with a hand on each side of his face, and kissed him.

Erestor felt the soft lips on his, and instead of pushing Glorfindel away, he raised a hand and rested it on Glorfindel’s hand on his cheek. He tasted of wine and something Erestor couldn’t put his finger on, something that was uniquely Glorfindel.

Glorfindel had hoped this kiss would never end; it was even sweeter than he had ever imagined. For so long he had fantasized about what those full lips would taste like, what Erestor would feel like against him. And now he knew, but it was not enough! He wanted more. He
wanted!... Slowly and reluctantly Glorfindel let go of the dark-haired advisor. His eyes sought out Erestor’s and found them worried. Oh no, he had gone too far, but he had thought that Erestor had wanted this as well, he really had. “Forgive me,” Glorfindel whispered.

“You’re forgiven” Erestor whispered back, as he stropped backwards into his room. Oh, he needed to think about this. He didn’t know what to make of it, what to think or feel. “Good night, Lord Glorfindel,” he whispered as he slowly closed the door.

Lord Glorfindel?? The Balrog slayer dropped his head and pulled his hands up in his sleeves, just standing in front of Erestor’s door. “Good night, Chief Advisor Erestor,” he whispered as he turned from Erestor’s door and left for his own chambers.
___________________
The next day after breakfast, Elrond had announced that he wanted Glorfindel and Erestor to come to his office after the meal. Both elves were curious to what could be such urgency that it could not wait until everything from the party had been taken care of. Both elves walked to Elrond’s study in silence. But just before they reached the door Erestor finally broke the ice. “I am sure it is nothing really serious,” he whispered to Glorfindel.
 
“I pray you are right,” Glorfindel whispered back, and smiled a little nervously. He didn’t quite know what to do or say. Should he just blame the amount of alcohol he consumed? Or should he just admit the truth, that he had wanted to kiss Erestor for years and years?

Elrond looked at them both and gestured for them to sit. “I imagine you’re wondering why I called you here.” Both elves looked at their lord with equally confused faces, and Elrond continued. “Something has happened, and I must express my utmost apologies to you both. I should never have meddled like I did. I hope you both forgive me.”

“My lord?” Erestor said with a slightly nervous tone, very unlike him.

“This came for you,” Elrond said, “along with one for me.” He handed Erestor a parcel with a seal on it. “Oh,” Erestor gasped. “Oh!”

“What is it?” Glorfindel asked, looking at Erestor as he paled, and Elrond who handed his friend a glass of water.
 
“This is... it is…” Erestor whispered and looked at Elrond and then at Glorfindel, with eyes full of confusion and what Glorfindel could only interpret as sorrow. “It is the seal of the hours of the golden flower.”

“Arato?” Glorfindel gasped and looked up at Elrond, and as Elrond nodded, Glorfindel felt as if his heart clouded over. What had he done? He had assumed his brother dead, and pursued his husband with a lover’s interest. “But wh-why did he wait so lo-long?” the golden haired elf stuttered.

Erestor had opened the seal and was reading. He felt his skin crawl as he saw the hastily written note. It was Arato, all right; he even recognized the handwriting. “Alive,” Erestor whispered. “He is alive, and on his way.”

Glorfindel let out a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding. “When will he be here?” he whispered, not meeting Erestor’s eyes.
 
“Soon” Elrond said, looking at the two elves in front of him, feeling terribly guilty that he had even suggested that Arato had been dead. But who would have thought that he would show up after so long a time? No one. “I must take care of something,” Elrond said, knowing how stupid it sounded, but he wanted to give the two of them some privacy. And as Erestor nodded faintly, Elrond quickly left his office, leaving Glorfindel, Erestor and that damned letter behind the closed door.

“Erestor?” Glorfindel whispered. Erestor looked up from the letter and looked at Glorfindel with large frightened eyes, and for a second something prodded Glorfindel’s memory, but he couldn’t put his finger on it, so he just continued. “I hope you will forgive me for… for...” he paused for a second and searched his brain for the right word, but he didn’t find it, and all that came to his mind was, “I… I thought he was gone.”

“You are forgiven.” Erestor whispered and then slowly stood up. “Promise me something, Glorfindel, my friend,” he said softly but with a desperate edge to it.

“Anything,” Glorfindel said and reached up for Erestor’s hand, but the advisor moved backwards and Glorfindel’s hand missed its target and he let it fall idly to his lap again.

“Never mention yesterday again,” he whispered.


 “I promise.”

“Thank you,” Erestor said and turned to leave, but then he suddenly stopped and turned halfway to the door “Will you come greet him with me?”

“Yes, if you wish me to,” Glorfindel answered, turning in his chair to face Erestor.

“I do,” the advisor said. He wanted to say a million other things, but he stopped himself, and just nodded to Glorfindel as he left the room. Who could have thought that Arato was still alive? He had known, hadn’t he? Somewhere deep inside he knew that the devil was alive, and now he was coming here for him, in what he had thought his sanctuary for thousands of years.


 

No one should fear what they cannot see,

And no ones to blame it's just hypocrisy,

It's written in your eyes,

And how I despise myself.

But you can't deny how I feel,

And you can't decide for me.

And it's your heart,

That's so wrong,

Mistaken,

You'll never know,

Your feathered sacred self.

 

Portishead - Elysium

________________________

 

Chapter 4. - If you felt as I do, would you betray yourself?

 

 

Sitting in the garden, looking at some flowers, Glorfindel looked almost as if he expected the flowers to suddenly get up and dance, or the like. Elladan had noticed him sitting there for hours, looking lost to himself. Elladan had been busy carrying out his duties and some extra work due to Arato's arrival today. But now he had a moment, and slowly walked over to sit at Glorfindel's side.

 

He gently touched his teacher’s shoulder. "Glorfindel?" he said softly. "Is something wrong? You don't seem happy."

 

Glorfindel looked up at Elladan and smiled sadly. "I am just a little lost," he admitted.

 

"Of course," Elladan said with a nod. "He is your brother, so it’s only natural that you are a bit beside yourself… I know if I had not seen Elrohir for so many years, and I had thought him dead, only for him to re-emerge suddenly, I would feel lost, and my soul in chaos."

 

Glorfindel nodded, he really didn't want to bring the Erestor issue up; this only complicated matters, but Elladan was right, he was troubled by the return of Arato. What if he were not the elf he remembered? He opened his mouth and was about to say something when he heard a horn. He was here, already? Elladan got up from his seat and dragged Glorfindel with him.

 

"Come now, you won’t let your brother wait, will you?" he said softly and gently guided Glorfindel back to the house with a hand on his shoulder.

____________________

 

Glorfindel stood on the shallow stairs of the courtyard, watching as the single horse slowly trotted in. He looked over at Elrond who, just smiled and nodded. Glorfindel wrung his hands, not sure what to say or do. He couldn't really remember being this nervous before, not even when he had arrived here to start a new life, when he had had to face an entire new household and an entirely new world. He looked up, only to see the blond elf jump off the large black horse. The elf smiled and the elda felt his heart melt. Yes, this was his brother, he remembered those dimples and those impossibly blue eyes. As if he were hypnotised, he walked over to his brother. "Arato," he whispered.

 

"Glorfindel," Arato said softly, "brother, finally I find you," and with that he grabbed Glorfindel's arm and hauled him in for an embrace.

Glorfindel let out a shaky breath, trying his hardest not to cry. "I thought you perished," he mumbled into his brother's thick hair. "And I thought you dwelled in the halls of Mandos as well," Arato whispered back and then he pulled from the embrace and held Glorfindel

out in stretched arms, looking him over with a big smile. "My brother, the seneschal of Rivendell, who would have thought?" he said with

adoration in his voice. "My scrawny little brother, a war hero and a praised strategist."

 

Glorfindel blushed a little. "Thank you," he whispered, beaming under his brother’s loving words. Looking to his left he saw Elrond descend the stairs also, smiling at them. Elrond welcomed Arato and told him that he was welcome to stay for as long as he pleased, and

that he hoped he would like it in this valley.

 

Arato looked back to Glorfindel and said with a cocky smile, "Where is my sweet husband? I was told that Erestor was here, in this household."

 

Glorfindel stepped to the side, and behind him stood Elladan and Elrohir with Erestor, who to Glorfindel looked even more nervous than he.

 

"There you are, my love," Arato said and held out his arms, inviting Erestor over for an embrace. Erestor moved slowly to his husband's arms, and was whirled around when Arato's arms closed around him. "Erestor, Erestor, Erestor, I missed you terribly," he laughed softly and kissed the dark-haired elf on the lips.

 

Erestor blushed and whispered, "And I, you."

 

"I trust my brother took good care of you in my absence?" the golden haired elf whispered.

 

"He did," Erestor whispered back and rested his head on Arato's shoulder, closing his eyes.

 

When they were done hugging, he greeted the sons of Elrond as well, and the rest of Elrond’s advisors, before he and Erestor walked into the house to go and get acquainted with his new suite of rooms, Erestor's rooms. Glorfindel watched as the pair walked away, and kept staring at the door from the courtyard as it closed shut behind them. "Glorfindel?" Elrond said softly resting his hand on his friends shoulder, "I know how you feel," he whispered.

 

Glorfindel looked up at his lord and friend. "You do? For I do not know how I feel myself," he admitted.

 

"I am truly sorry for my poor advise regarding Erestor. I could not possibly have known that his husband would show up, even if that someone is your own brother," Elrond said as sadness flashed in his steel grey eyes.

 

"I know, mellon," Glorfindel whispered. "Don't worry, Elrond." The blond looked up at the lord of Imladris and smiled a sad little smile. "I won't embarrass you."

 

"Oh no, I know you won’t, Glorfindel, and I would never worry about that," Elrond said and wrapped his arm around Glorfindel's waist. "But I 'do' worry about you."

 

Glorfindel smiled and let Elrond lead him back into the house.

________________

 

That night Glorfindel stood in his balcony door and watched the little cobblestone yard under his balcony. The little fountain spurted water with continuous soothing sound, and the chickadees made noise further away. The warm breezed lifted tiny strands of the Balrog slayer’s hair. This was a night like any other night in the last homely house, except that the house had gained a new inhabitant. Glorfindel let his gaze wander from the fountain to Erestor's windows that were directly opposite his. He took a sip of his tea and sighed. He didn't understand, never had he taken a mate, neither male nor female. He had been holding out for someone special, someone to make him forget time and place, someone that could make his world turn. But that special someone had never come along. Not in Gondolin, and not here either. For a second he had almost believed that Erestor could be that one, the one he would lose his heart to, but fate had had other plans. He was happy to see Arato, yes. But... Glorfindel closed his eyes for a second and then opened them again, looking at Erestor's rooms.

 

He could see Arato sleeping on his back naked in the beautifully carved bed, and Erestor. He was sitting and looking at something, squatted on the floor. Glorfindel knew that the fireplace was placed there from the times he had been in the advisor’s rooms. Erestor looked thoughtful, running his finger absentmindedly over the rim of a glass of something Glorfindel couldn't make out. Over and over again Erestor ran his finger, making a crisp little noise.

 

Glorfindel couldn't help but to notice Erestor's naked form. He was much more fragile boned than he had thought. Skinny was the thought

that came to Glorfindel's mind.

 

What he wouldn't give to be the one on his back in Erestor's bed, sleeping like a baby, he thought to himself. Quickly finishing his tea,

he silently chided himself for that thought alone. Erestor was bound to his brother, not some strange elf, no, his own brother! What was he

thinking? Committing adultery against his own brother? He was about to close the balcony door when he had to look out at Erestor once

more. Now he could see that the elf was whispering to himself. Glorfindel shook his head as he closed the door, and blowing out the candle, he walked to his bed. Whatever ailed Erestor, was none of his business, and whatever happened, he would not put his lord to shame and meddle.


 

AN:, An extra long chapter – Happy Birthday EJ!!! *throws party* - Betaed by; Lisbet.

_________________

You only see what your eyes want to see

How can life be what you want it to be

You're frozen

When your heart's not open

You're so consumed with how much you get

You waste your time with hate and regret

You're broken

When your heart's not open

Now there's no point in placing the blame and you should know I suffer the same

If I lose you

My heart will be broken

 

Madonna ­ frozen

_____________________

 

chapter 5 - Love is a bird, she needs to fly

 

( 2 years later)

 

Glorfindel stood in the kitchen, placing food on a tray.  Absentmindedly, he knocked over the glass of milk, and an annoyed sigh slipped past his lips.  Fine way to start a day, he thought to himself.  There was a slim chance that this would actually work, if only he didn't pour the food all over himself.  He started to pour a new glass of milk just as Figwit opened the door to the kitchen.  Glorfindel fumbled but managed to save the glass from falling to the floor.

 

"Oh, I didn't know you were here, lord Glorfindel," the small advisor said and smiled. "Might I ask who you are making that lovely tray for?"

 

Glorfindel laughed.  "Good morning to you too, Figwit," he said, as he placed the glass on the tray, and turned to face the other elf.  “It is for Erestor."

 

"Really?"  Figwit's eyes went impossibly big.  "But.."

 

"My dear Figwit," Glorfindel answered with a sweet smile, "he is the spouse of my brother, there is nothing more to it, than I would like for him to join me for breakfast."

 

"It 'has' been a while since I saw him at the breakfast table," Figwit said thoughtfully.

 

"I know," Glorfindel responded.  Actually no one had really 'seen' Erestor for as long as Arato had been in Rivendell.  Glorfindel understood that Erestor was somewhat avoiding him, but he had also distanced himself from Elrond and the twins.  And now Glorfindel was worried to say the least, and just maybe he could get the elusive elf to talk if he just pushed his own presence.  As he knocked on the door, some of his previous bravery disappeared, but he put on a determined expression, and knocked harder.  "Erestor?" he called. 

 

Erestor stood with his back to the door on the other side.  He didn't want Glorfindel to come in, and he didn't want to see anybody at all.  He vaguely shook his head as Glorfindel kept calling for him.

 

 "I know you are in there, Erestor.  Please answer me."

 

"No," Erestor finally croaked.  "I am not dressed yet," he lied.

 

"I have breakfast for you and Arato.  But you need to open the door, my friend," Glorfindel said with a silky smooth voice, hoping to trick the elusive elf into opening the door.  As Erestor's clammy hands fiddled with the lock on the door, the dark-haired elf wondered what on earth possessed him to even open the door.  The door squeaked on its hinges, and slowly opened, and Glorfindel knew he had to be quick.  He pushed himself half inside the room.

 

"Erestor," he said with a happy smile, "good morning!  Look what I brought you."

 

Erestor took a step back and looked at the tempting tray of food.  "It indeed looks delicious, Glorfindel," he admitted.  But then he looked up at the elf.  "Just place it on the table," he said while gesturing towards a small side table, and he himself made his way to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.  His heart thundered madly.  How he wished that the golden-haired elf would be gone, as if by magic when he opened the door again.  Didn't he realise how dangerous it was for him to even be here?  Glorfindel placed the tray where Erestor had asked him to, and sat down on a chair and waited. He didn't mind that the other elf seemed to take forever in the bathroom, he had time, more than enough actually.  He couldn't help but wonder about where Arato was; it was early morning, and his brother really should have been here. 

 

Erestor came out of the bathroom, but to his disappointment his wish had not been granted.  Glorfindel was still there, sitting on a chair looking at him with those big confused and slightly accusing blue eyes.  "Why are you still here?" he said, trying to sound annoyed, when actually he was only frightened.

 

"I figured we could have breakfast together," Glorfindel said softly, but upon seeing the mortified look on Erestor's face he quickly added, "I see that Arato is not here, so I thought I would keep you company this fine morn."

 

"Oh" Erestor said, not sure what to say.  To dismiss Arato's brother would spell trouble, but to let him stay would most likely do the same.  "It is very kind of you, to think of me."

 

"There is no need to flatter me so," Glorfindel said with a warm smile.  "All I want is to share this tray of food with you."  He picked up the tray and placed it on the little round dining table next to the balcony.  "Like we used to do, remember?"  Oh, this was a sneaky trick, he knew.  But he had to get through to the other elf somehow.  And it apparently worked.  Erestor sat down opposite him, and reached out for some food. 

 

Looking at the normally stunningly beautiful elf, Glorfindel frowned.  "Erestor? May I ask you something?" he said softly.

 

"Like what?" Erestor said, and looked up at Glorfindel.  Studying Erestor, Glorfindel was sure in his assumption, the dark-haired elf had been crying recently.  His eyes were all puffy and red, and the grace that normally surrounded this magnificent elf was gone.  He seemed animated and flat.

 

"Are you happy, Erestor?"

 

"Ha-Happy?" Erestor whispered, and shot Glorfindel a pleading look.  "But of course I am happy.  My beloved Arato has returned to me."

 

"I see," Glorfindel said with a smile. "I just wanted to make sure.  We used to be friends, you know… Before…"  He took a deep breath.  "Before all this."

 

Erestor nodded and when silence returned to the room, he pushed his loose hair behind his ears, and Glorfindel's eyes squinted, noting large bruises along the slender pale neck. But he wisely decided not to comment on it now.

 

----

 

Erestor and Glorfindel had finished their meal in a rather uncomfortable silence. And right after he had left his brother’s chambers, Glorfindel went straight to Elrond’s office. Elrond looked up from his papers, and smiled a welcome at the Balrog slayer. "Glorfindel, what a nice surprise, what brings you here this fine morn?"

 

"Erestor, my lord," Glorfindel said as he closed the door. "I need to speak with you. Our dear friend has me worried."

 

"After the terrible advice I gave you the last time, you still seek my council?" Elrond said, a little puzzled.

 

"You couldn't have possibly known that it would turn out like that. What were the odds?" Glorfindel said and offered a friendly smile. "I had breakfast with Erestor this morning, and I saw disturbing marks on his skin." Glorfindel avoided Elrond’s surprised expression. "I am not accusing anybody," he added quickly, "but I would be much more relaxed if you would take a look at it."

 

Elrond rested his chin on his fingertips and looked deep in thought. "All right, I have never known you to be one to see ghosts, so I shall go see Erestor later, if it will ease your mind, my friend."

 

"Thank you," Glorfindel said and nodded to his lord. "I will come back tomorrow, then." "You do that, Glorfindel," Elrond said.

 

 ---------------

 

Later that evening when Elrond knocked at the door of Arato and Erestor's chambers, Erestor opened the door, and Elrond walked inside.

 

"My lord," Erestor said with a surprised tone.

 

"Erestor," Elrond said and rested a hand on his counsellor’s shoulder.

 

Arato looked up from his book, and let the pipe slip from his lips. "My lord Elrond, what brings you here this evening, is something amiss?" he asked calmly.

 

"Nay, Arato, I am only here to steal away your husband for a little while. I need to discuss something with him that cannot wait till the morning," Elrond said, feeling Erestor tense under his grip.

 

"Oh," Arato said as if he understood.

 

"Erestor, come along, let us go to the office," Elrond said and firmly guided the elf out the door. They walked along the corridor and into Elrond’s office.

 

Erestor looked confused at the lack of papers everywhere. "What is the emergency, my lord?"

 

"No emergency," Elrond said and locked the door behind them. "Please sit down, Erestor, and let me explain this late night abduction."

 

Erestor sat down with his hands in his lap and looked up at Elrond, who started to pace the room.

 

"You see, Erestor, Glorfindel came to me today with the most incredible story, but never the less, I promised him to take a look at you. And this is the reason why I brought you here."

 

Erestor paled. "Story? What story?"

 

"About your bruises on your skin," Elrond answered. "Glorfindel claimed it looked like marks from fighting, and I honestly cannot understand why he would claim such a thing, but never the less, I intend to put his mind at ease."

 

The lord of Imladris looked down at Erestor. "So, strip."

 

"Excuse me?" Erestor croaked.

 

"Forgive me, I really meant it in the most professional way" Elrond smiled a fatherly smile and said, "please remove your clothing and let me examine your skin, Erestor."

"N-No" Erestor said, "I refuse, that Glorfindel sees things is none of my business."

 

"Then there is really no harm in letting me examine you, now is there?" Elrond said with a sly smile.

 

"I..I.." Erestor stuttered, but in the end he started to unbutton his robe, and stood up in all his naked glory. "You win," he whispered. Ignoring the vision that met him, Elrond let his hands probe the skin, and wincing every time Erestor yelped when he pushed a sore spot.

 

"Enough," Elrond whispered. "Put your clothes back on."

 

And as the advisor pulled his robe up again and started to button it, Elrond walked over to his desk, visibly disturbed by his findings. "Do you mind explaining this to me?" he said softly.

 

"The bruises?" Erestor whispered, knowing that this had to be what Elrond meant.

 

"Aye."

 

"Arato and I…enjoy playing," Erestor said with a little weak blush. "This is why I did not want you to see this, and why I do not think Glorfindel should jump to conclusions. The golden lord assumes too much. This is but a case of me and my husband enjoying to play master and servant in our bed." Erestor knew he was lying through his teeth, but he had no choice really.

 

"Oh" Elrond said, and now it was his time to blush. "I never intended to meddle in your marital affairs."

 

"I had hoped I could avoid this rather awkward situation," Erestor said. "Now do you need me for more? Or can I return to my chambers?"

 

"Oh, you can leave," Elrond said and gestured towards the door. "And Erestor? I am sorry for all of this."

 

"Don't think about it," Erestor said with a cocky smile as he left.  All the way back to his chambers, Erestor's mind raced. Glorfindel had noticed, and he had actually gone to Elrond. How should he really feel about this? A part of him was glad that the golden elf cared enough to see, but on the other hand he was very upset with him. Why had he meddled? This could turn out very unpleasant for all, but mostly for him. And when he opened the door to his chambers, seeing Arato's angry gaze, he knew it was about to get very unpleasant for him indeed.

 

"So?" Arato said, "What did he want?"

 

"He just needed my signature for a document," Erestor said, smiling casually.

 

"Really?" Arato said with a dangerously softly voice. "Are you lying to me, Erestor?"

 

"No!" Erestor said and moved to sit on the armrest of Arato's chair. "You are my beloved husband, I would never lie to you."

 

"Is that so?" Arato said and looked up at Erestor, running his fingers down over the other elf’s cheek and down to the collar of his robe. "Then why is your robe not buttoned correctly?"

 

Erestor tried his hardest not to pale, and smiled reassuringly. "I must have done that this morning."

 

"No," Arato said, "I noted this today. Earlier it was buttoned perfectly, so why is it crooked now, Erestor 'dear'?"

 

"Surely your memory must be playing tricks on you," Erestor said, less convincingly than before.

 

"My memory is absolutely spotless." The golden elf squinted his eyes suspiciously. "Weren't you a bit eager to follow him?"

 

"He is my lord!" Erestor yelped as Arato pushed him off the armrest. "Please, Arato, I cannot deny my lord my counsel when needed."

 

"Or a quickie in his office?"

 

"No! Nothing like that!" As Arato stood up, Erestor crawled on his back, crabwise, across the floor in a futile attempt to get away from his husband.