Scarecrow

You don’t want to see him

You only want to be him

Mommy’s got a scarecrow, gotta let the corn grow

Man can’s always reap what he sow

He’s a maker / He’s a taker

He’s a saviour / He’s a raper.

Marilyn Manson – Angel with the scabbed wings.

1. He’s the angel with the scabbed wings.

He had gotten used to the long labyrinths of corridors, hallways, stairs and doors that existed Phaonica, he felt like he had spent his entire life here, ‘Lord Swift’ indeed. He opened the door to a guest room to find Seel lying on the floor with their harling, trying to place some brightly colored blocks on top of each other. He closed the door behind him and smiled as they booth looked up at him. “Took you long enough,” Seel said with badly hidden irritation.

Swift sat down on an old bridal chest that was located just within the door, and started to unlace his boots. “It just took forever, I’m sorry.”

Seel just slowly rose from the floor and came over to Swift, reaching down he caressed his chesna’s cheek. “Same old discussion I take it.”

With a sigh Swift leaned into the gentle touch. “Yes, my head hurts from all that information.” He looked up at his chesna with tired eyes .“Maybe it is all just a mistake, maybe we will never be Parsiel.”

Seel took Swifts head in his hands and tilted it gently until their eyes met. “You are Swift har Parsiel,” he said with a school teacher’s voice. Swift just nodded, he was in no mood to argue with Seel tonight, he had been seated with all those damn high and mighty hara that sent him uneasy, shifty glances. He might call himself ‘har Parsiel’ but to the members he would always just be Terzian the Varr’s son, and a wildcard, it seemed like no matter how much he tried to distance himself from his father’s atrocities, Swift was the one that was punished. 

“You are right,” he just sighed and smiled a little worn smile. “As always.” He suddenly felt like a kid again. Not only did he have to understand an insane world, but he had to live up to everybody’s expectations of him, never falter and never fail. He could almost imagine Cobweb scolding him for being too brooding and depressing.

“Swift,” Azriel said with a yawn as he too rose from the floor, where he had been watching his parents.

“My pearl,” Swift said holding out his arms to his son, as Seel moved out of the way with a little unsatisfied pout. Swift gathered his son close and kissed him on his cheek “It is long past your bedtime you rascal,” he whispered, standing up still carrying the harling.

“Will you tell me a story Swift?” Az pleaded, wrapping his little arms around his father’s neck.

“Sure thing” Swift said, looking up at Seel, who just pouted more, but in an irresistible cute way that made Swift smile. Brushing past his chesna he made his way to Azriel’s bedroom that was a little chamber adjoing to his and Seel’s room.

Swift told a story that Cobweb had once told him, of why the apples fell to the ground when it was autumn. He almost fell asleep himself, but had to remind himself that he had to go and talk to Seel, and so he untangled himself from his sleeping harling, and made his way out of the dark room.

_______

In the bedroom Seel was going through a huge pile of papers, not even looking up as Swift entered the room. “Where are the papers on Ponclast’s sons? I can’t seem to find that file,” he said coldly.

“Seel,” Swift groaned pitifully. “Why are you doing this?”

Seel looked up and Swift could tell from the look he gave him that he was displeased, and thought that Swift was not efficient, they should have been over with this transition by now, back in Parsiel land, ruling it like counts. “I wanted to give you a hand, that’s all, control your paranoia Swift!”

Swift crossed his arms over his chest “I don’t need a champion, I can fend for my self and my tribe,” he hissed more angrily than intended.

“Is-that-a-fact?” Seel said softly, completely ignoring Swifts annoyance with his interference.

“The hegemony is full of stuffed incepted hara!” Swift spat, and instantly regretted his words as Seel’s frown deepened. “I didn’t mean that,” Swift offered lamely. 

 “Don’t you want to go home to Galhea and build yourself a life there? Let Azriel have friends his own age?” Seel said with a voice rid of all emotion. “Let him have a normal upbringing” 

“That was cheap Seel,” Swift said flatly as he sat down on the corner of the bed. “You know I hate it in Phaonica, but I can’t make these negotiations got any faster, they are still trying to decide what to do with the hara that were in Ponclast’s inner circle that escaped and never went to exile.” Swift pulled his cotton shirt over his head and tossed it on the floor. “They seem to think that it is my responsibility to find them.”

Seel pushed his chair back and walked over to Swift on the bed. “And you will my beloved,” he said sweetly. “You are the rightful heir to the legacy of..”

“Shut up Seel,” Swift whined as he flopped back into the bed with his arms spread out to each side, smiling happily as he felt the soft bed under him. “My back is killing me,” he stated with his eyes closed in bliss from finally laying in his bed.

Seel ran his hand down over Swifts thigh, “let me loosen up your tense muscles then,” he whispered.

A lazy smile spread on Swift’s lips as he flipped over on his stomach with the grace of a cat. “Thank you.”

Seel stood from the bed and went to the bathroom to get some oil for the massage, Swift sighed blissfully again as the weight of Seel settled on his butt, and the cold oil hit his skin. “Are you naked?” he mumbled.

“Does it matter?” Seel whispered seductively back.. “Would you like me to be naked?”

“Very much,” Swift whispered, groaning softly as Seel’s hands started to kneed the tense muscles in his back. But it was not long before his hands found more interesting places to touch than Swift’s back. Pulling the waistband of Swifts pants Seel’s smile spread as his chesna tried to wiggle out of them.  “Like this,” he said pulling his legs up under him, spreading his legs, displaying himself to his chesna.

Seel wasn’t late and all he wanted was just to have wave after wave of orgasmic chills tear his nerves apart until he was so fatigued he could not move. And seeing Swift offering himself so willingly had his Ouana-lim grow, like a large, purple, pulsating, flesh eating flower. Swift’s beauty never failed to amaze Seel, he had been besotted with this harling from the first time he had seen him, and now when he knew every part of that soft sensual body. He couldn’t remember how or why he had resisted Swift for so long.

Dipping two fingers in Swifts soume-lam, he couldn't resist to flex his fingers as Swift moaned softly, pushing against his hand, so terribly sensitive. Using the other hand to spread his buttocks even more Seel added his tongue to his fingers, knowing this would drive Swift absolutely insane, and the results of his probing fingers and tongue didn’t elude him as Swift started to tremble, he looked up and saw his chesna biting his knuckles in an attempt to keep quiet and not wake Azriel. Seel grinned and moved down to lap at Swifts soume-lam once more before he withdrew completely, and rammed his Ouana-lim up in his chesna, to the delight of them both. Their aruna was always like this, hard and furious, as it was not a love making sacred act, but a struggle for dominion, while stroking each other in the most delirious ways.

As Swift finally felt his world disappear in a velvet sea of green silk, he pulled Seel with him, and they both climaxed, spent, sweating and gasping for air, they broke the contact with each other, both physically and mentally. “Seel?” Swift whispered. “Do you love me?”

“Of course I do,” Seel laughed softly turning in the bed draping a leg over his chesna. “I just worry, that’s all, if I didn’t love you I wouldn't be here.”

“Of course” Swift repeated with a yawn snuggling closer to Seel. He was not calmed by Seel’s answer though. He remembered all too clearly how many years Cobweb had suffered under the pretence of love How many times his hostling would have asked his father the same question, and had received the same answer.

_____________________

-1 week later-

Seel had insisted that he attended this meeting instead of Swift, as he pointed it out so eloquently, this whole ordeal needed a fresh pair of eyes, and so Swift had busied himself with other tasks, including having lunch with Caeru. This har always brought a smile to Swift’s lips, he wondered if Seel suspected that they had once shared aruna, not that he was bothered with telling him that they hadn’t just talked back then, but he suspected he knew. Caeru was by far the most beautiful har he had ever seen, but his personality was as rotten and decayed as humanity.

Leaving Rue for the day, Swift had been on his way back to his assigned room, for even if Seel thought he knew all, he didn’t, and Swift knew where to look for the information that Seel did not posses. A har he did not know stumbled upon him as he crossed the main hall that was in expansion of the large entrance to Phaonica. “Lord Swift!” the soldier called. Swift turned around and looked at him with a curious expression. “Excuse me Lord Swift, but there is a Parsiel party here, and they asked for you particularly,” the solider said.

“Me?” Swift asked? Not that he was really surprised, many Varrs sought out Swift personally for all kinds of ruling matters, like he was all they had to cling to these days when their whole existence was suddenly turned upside down. Swift realised the soldier was waiting, and nodded slowly. “Take me to them.”

The soldier just let out a breath he had been holding while waiting for the young lord’s answer, and turned to walk Swift to where he had told the Parsiel party to wait.

Swift stepped into the little room where the strangers had been offered some food and drink while they waited, with a professional smile, “I am Swift,” he said.

“Lord Swift,” A mahogany haired har said as he stepped forth, it was easy to tell he had been Varr once, he still wore his hair short, and the whole of one side of his head was completely shaven. “I am Radu, and we have come on behalf of our little settlement.” 

“What seems to be the trouble?” Swift said, sitting down on a chair while waiting for an answer.

“Raiders, milord,” another har said. Swift turned his head and looked into a pair of muddy-green eyes, and dirty blond hair tumbled down almost covering his face. A strange sense tingled.. he knew this har! But his mind would not really give who it was, his memory was blank, but it was something with Cobweb being absolutely furious at this little harling, he remembered the large frightened eyes. “Excuse me, this might be rude, but are you from Galhea?” he asked the strange har.

“No, lord Swift” the har said. “You must confuse me with someone else, I get that a lot.”

“Maybe,” Swift just said before he returned his attention to Radu. The har explained why they needed Gelaming help with a band of raiders that kept killing off their livestock. Swift listened silently, knowing how hard it was on the Parsiel tribe to suddenly come asking for help from the Tigron. But even if he heard what Radu said, his eyes kept wandering back to the dirty blond har. Ah yes he knew him... his name started with a Hu sound but the rest eluded Swifts memory. He would simply have to ask Cobweb.

_________________________

Oh no! It’s everything they said it was.

Oh no! I am all things they said I was.

 Don’t pick the scabs or you’ll never heal.

The world shudders as the worm gets its wings.

Marilyn Manson – Wormboy.

2. Then I got my wings, and I never even knew it.

The Parsic party stayed in Phaonica for some days; Swift had not mentioned anything to Seel, who seemed to be lost in politics anyways. Swift still entertained the idea of borrowing Pellaz’ sedu to make a trip to see Cobweb, and he had this nagging feeling that his foul mood would not change until he had done just that.

Seel was pulling on a luxurious robe and trying to gather his paper work at the same time. “Seel?” Swift said leaning against the table causally. “Where are you going?”

“To a meeting with some of the hegemony members, we have to establish how to divide the good agriculture land on Parsic lands,” Seel said putting down the papers in order to button his robe.

“You mean you called a meeting, and didn’t even bother to tell me?” Swift said frowning. As Seel reached out for his pile of papers, Swift slammed his hand over them, glaring angrily at his chesna, “And just who gets it?” Swift spat. When Seel didn’t answer he pushed Seel’s on the floor in one giant chaotic mess. “The estate of Forever, am I right Seel?” he hissed.

“What’s wrong with that?” Seel said looking surprised of Swifts sudden anger. “It’s for you own hostling...”

“Don’t give me that shit!” Swift suddenly yelled, “Cobweb couldn't care less! And I know this, because I don’t either.”

“Just what are you implying?” Seel snapped back as he bend down to gather his papers. “I am not sure I like your tone.”

“Whatever,” Swift stated. “I am taking Az with me to see Cobweb, you stay here with your precious hegemony and your ‘negotiations.’”

“What?” Seel gasped as he snapped his head around, looking absolutely furious. “I am doing this for you!.. For ‘us’ Swift,” Swift rolled his eyes but nodded as he crossed his arms over his chest. Seel looked at his chesna, and in this moment he looked so much like his fabled father, fuming in white-hot anger. Swift was perhaps right, they might call themselves Parsiel, but a part of their hearts would always remain Varr.

“In case you didn’t notice, I am Lord Swift, son of Terzian, ruler of Galhea,” he turned his head and looked directly at Seel. “Not you! Don’t make yourself useful where you are not wanted Seel!”

“Of all the...” Seel was speechless, they had fought before, but this seemed to have an ugly undercurrent he was not sure he liked. Grinding his teeth, he pushed some of the papers he was holding up in Swift’s face as if he was about to slap him with it. “This! This Lord Swift,” he spat. “This is a list covering the atrocities that your precious father and his buddy Ponclast committed in their time of glory, ‘that’ is your legacy Lord Swift!” he roared. “Have you even bothered to read this? Do you have any clue how many brothers you have? Don’t tell me you are proud to be the son of this monster.”

“Don’t call Terzian a monster,” Swift spat back in childish retort.

“You know he had other breeders, don’t you? Cobweb was not the only one, so why should you feel more entitled to your lordship than any of these un-named harlings?” Seel hissed, he knew he was unfair, but he just couldn't believe what he was hearing at all!

Swift turned in a split second and grabbed Seel’s collar, choking his chesna. “Cobweb was his consort,” he growled.

“Fine” Seel croaked and pulled himself free from Swift with a hard jerk. “You know what? No never mind,” he said as he turned from Swift. “I seem to be fighting a lost battle with you.”

“Seel,” Swift said reaching out and grabbing his chesna’s arm. “I am sorry.”

“Sure you are,” Seel said coldly and pulled his arm free, “I will see you when you return from Galhea, give my best to Cobweb.”

“See,” Swift said once more in a futile attempt to have his chesna look in his direction, but Seel brushed past him and out the door without a sound, clutching his papers.

___________________________

Azriel had been thrilled by the prospect of going back to Galhea, he remembered Cobweb’s plum tree very vividly. Swift left Phaonica with a heavy heart, But Pellaz had told him to take his time in Galhea, and when Swift had answered a little stiffly, the Tigron had assured him that it was important that he got out amongst hara, and that he did not just sit cooped up in Phaonica. Swift had been sure he had seen a slight smile on Pellaz’ lips which had not calmed him at all.

Az pulled Swifts arm. “Come on, why are you just standing there?” he whined, eager to go.

Swift looked down at his harling and started to walk down the path that led to Forever, in one insane moment he remembered the time when Leef had taken him home, dead drunk and scared to death that his parents would know he had been out. Had he really become just as paranoid as Cobweb? Had he really begun to see bad omens and enemies everywhere?  The Sedu disappeared behind them, and none of them turned to see, they just walked on.

“Swift?” Az said. “Do you think Cobweb has missed us?”

“Of course,” Swift said smiling to his son. “He will throw a party in your honour, I’m sure.”

“Oh goodie!” Azriel chipped and pulled Swift again to go faster.

“Why don’t you run along and find him?” Swift said to the impatient harling. “I am right behind you.”

“Alright” Az said with a huge grin and ran off to find Cobweb.

Swift walked slowly down the path soaking in the calm of Forever, No matter how hard he tried, he would never be able to give Azriel what Cobweb had given him, he simply did not posses his magic, Swift was sure that his hostling could make a tipi cosy and then throw a magnificent party in it too. It was not Forever that held the magic, it was Cobweb.

_______________________________________

Az found Cobweb in the garden where he was looking to his parsley, “Cobweb! Cobweb!” he yelled as he rammed the other har.

Cobweb picked him up with a smile. “My, my Azriel,” he said “Did you come to see me all alone?”

“No, Swift is on his way,” Az said holding on to Cobweb as if for dear life.

“Good,” Cobweb laughed and walked towards the porch, carrying Azriel. He squinted and saw Swift further down the path, his mind reached out for his harling, and found a sad, confused and dark matter, it felt almost like a mind touch with Terzian, and this startled Cobweb. He sat Azriel down on the ground, “run and see if you can gather some plums, sweetness,” he said softly Seeing Az speed off, he turned to look at Swift again. He gently probed his harling’s mind again, but it was the same pitch-black labyrinth as before. What was wrong? Swift didn’t feel right, he could sense sorrow, paranoia and pride, this was not natural to Swift, he knew his harling’s mind, and it had always been filled with big blue dreams.

Swift made his way down to where Cobweb stood, and embraced his hostling like a drowning man reaching for shore. “Cobweb,” he whispered, “are you well?”

“I am fine,” Cobweb said gathering Swift’s face in his hands, looking at him, studying the dark eyes of his harling “but you are not.”

“It was just a lovers quarrel, its nothing big,” He said softly, but wasn’t able to look at Cobweb as he said it.

“Liar,” Cobweb said with a smile and kissed his harling’s forehead tenderly. “Come, you can tell me about it on the way to the house.”

Swift obediently followed “He..” Swift took a deep breath and reached for his hostling’s hand “he just has so many ambitions and so much prejudice.”

Cobweb stopped in his tracks and turned to Swift, “What is wrong with ambition?”

“He wants me to be some great lord of all Parsic hara,” Swift shook his head sorrowful. “I don’t think I know how to be Lord Swift” he said with a tiny voice.

“But you know how to be Terzian the Varr’s son? Is that it?” Cobweb said harshly.

“That was not fair, Cobweb” Swift whined, “I don’t know what I am, I am just a misfit, a Gelaming pet.”

“You never did like changes,” Cobweb said softly.

“It’s a charade, Cobweb!” Swift said in an uncompromising tone “To call us Parsic! That is like calling a cougar a cat! Damnit Cobweb can’t you see what it is they are doing?”

“You don’t have to patronize me,” Cobweb spat back.

“We are still the same hara, It’s just a name,” Swift said as he pulled from Cobweb’s touch.

Cobweb shook his head; he had heard rants like this many times before, but never from his son. He tilted his head and looked at his harling with a worried gaze, “Do you love Seel?” he suddenly asked.

“Of course!” Swift said a little too quickly.

“Then trust him a little more,” Cobweb said. “He has ruled a tribe before, he will know what it takes to make it run smoothly.” 

Swift nodded as he reached for Cobweb’s hand again. “What is for dinner?” he said softly, not looking at his hostling.

Cobweb shook his head in amusement and squeezed his harling’s hand. “Let’s find out.” he said as they started to walk up to the house.

______________________________

At the dinner table Swift saw Tyson sitting sulking over his plate, he had turned out to be a pretty har. It seemed so strange that Tyson was his brother, it didn’t feel like it, and he was sure that Tyson would feel the same way, he liked the blond har a lot, not like Azriel that seemed to adore him to no end. And with a smile, Swift couldn’t help but to notice that Tyson liked the attention.

Dinner conversation was light and pleasant, Tyson left first with a lame excuse of going off to see somehar, and Swift picked up Azriel, who was half asleep in his food and carried him to his own old room, this place was like a time warp, even the stairs creaked in the same places it always had. Cobweb’s voice carried up here as he had a conversation with a house har. Swift smiled, all those who pointed fingers and condemned the Varrs had not known his father like he had, and had not lived in this house.

Swift made his way down again after Azriel slept soundly. Cobweb was sitting on the sofa with a drink, swirling the clear brown liquid in the glass, he looked up at his harling as he came down the stairs. “So, how long are you staying?” he said softly.

“I don’t know,” Swift said as he sat down across the table from Cobweb, reaching for the carafe to pour a drink for himself. “I..I..” he said nervously, before he looked up at his hostling. “I was thinking of leaving Azriel in your care, and going back to sort my shit out.”

“So that is the reason for your visit, to dump your harling on me?” Cobweb said coldly.

“No.. Cobweb.. You don’t understand,” Swift said shaking his head.

“Oh but I think I do,” Cobweb said. “You are pissed off at Seel, and the hegemony because they bring forth all your father’s crimes, and you feel like defending him because no one else is, not even me,” Cobweb looked at Swift who was about to say something when Cobweb interrupted him/ “I loved him more than my own life Swift, never doubt that, but I am not going to defend his crimes, in fact I would rather not talk about him at all.”

“How can you say that?” Swift howled outraged, spilling half his drink.

“Because it’s the truth,” Cobweb said calmly. “I will ask you once more, are you happy Swift? Do you love Seel?”

Swift downed his drink and softly shook his head. “No,” he whispered with a barely audible voice. “I don’t think so.”

“Don’t be content Swift, be happy,” Cobweb said softly reaching for his harling’s hand across the table.

Swift took his hostling’s hand and squeezed it lovingly. “I am just confused,” he said and offered an little smile. “Cobweb, I meant to ask you something” he suddenly said. As Cobweb nodded he said, “This har showed up in Phaonica, I know him. I remember him, he is about my age and I must have known him as a harling, I thought you might remember him, because his name seems to elude me.”

“Your age?” Cobweb said and gnawed on his lip in thought. “Someone you played with?”

“Maybe,” Swift sighed.

“You played with a very few selected hara, your father made sure of that,” Cobweb said, “What does he look like?”

“He has dirty blonde hair, and muddy, brownish green eyes,” Swift said, trying to recall the har from the other day.

“Hunter” Cobweb stated. “It has to be, he had the most magnificent eyes that harling.”

“Yes!” Swift gasped. “Hunter! I remember him now! He is Gahrazel’s younger brother!”

Cobweb nodded in agreement “Yes, he was.”

“By Ag! Seel mustn’t hear about that! They will imprison him in that damned forest with the rest of Fulminir and Ponclast’s trusted.” Swift whispered in an urgent tone.

____________________________________________

When I said we

You know I meant me and

When I said sweet

I meant dirty

Marilyn Manson – Slutgarden.

3. We know just who we are.

Swift left Forever two days later, and returned to Phaonica without Azriel. Cobweb had advised him to go home and patch things up with Seel, and to stop being so paranoid and analysing, maybe another harling would be what they needed. Another harling ‘hah’! Swift thought to himself, how Cobweb! Swift couldn't help but think that maybe Cobweb thought he could have held on to Terzian had he given him another harling, but no matter how many times Swift had asked why he didn’t have any brothers Cobweb eluded the answer. The closest he had ever gotten to a real answer was once his hostling had been drunk as a skunk, and he had seemed rather talkative, then he had said with a bitter tone that Terzian was not interested in harlings. In Swift’s head that had become that Terzian had not been interested in more harlings with Cobweb.

Opening the door to his and Seel’s rooms he found them empty, swept of every personal belonging that was either his or Seel’s. With a worried frown, he walked into the room, it smelled different too, strangely forgotten, like an attic room, but that was simply not possible in such a short amount of time. His mind had to be playing a prank on him. Hearing somehar clear his throat behind him; Swift gasped from surprise and nearly stumbled as he turned to see who was in the door.

“Lord Swift,” Vaysh said formally, and nodded to the other har. “I had been informed of you arrival, and I thought it was best if I came to see you personally.”

“Tiahaar, Vaysh,” Swift said as he tried to control his breathing. “You startled me”

“I see that,” Vaysh said with a little smile. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He stepped into the room and closed the door after him. “This is rather Delicate.. uhm..”

“Just call me Swift,” Swift said as he sagged down on the bedcovers. He knew what Vaysh would say even before he said it, he could feel it, smell it and taste it in the air of the room.

“It seems that Seel Griselming left,” Vaysh said as softly as he could, and Swift could read the compassion in his eyes, he had never even seen a flicker of emotion in this har, and yet now he saw how difficult it was for him to give this message, and he couldn't help but to wonder if this might be very personal to the red haired har.

“Left?” Swift repeated “but when? Where?.. Did he tell anyhar where he might go?”

“I don’t know,” Vaysh said with a slight shake of his head, he came over and sat down next to Swift and took the other har's hand, holding it loosely between his own. “He just vaporised.”

“Cal,” Swift said, “Calanthe will know where he went, he knows Seel better than anyhar.”

“Swift,” Vaysh said, “Please look at me.”

When Swift looked at the other har, tears welled up in his eyes, “It was not supposed to be like this,” he said feeling little and helpless.

“I will take you to Cal,” Vaysh said “If you want me to.”

Swift nodded and let Vaysh pull him to his feet.

__________________________________________

Cal proved harder to find than they thought, but in the end they did locate him as he ate a late breakfast. Vaysh left just as soundlessly as he had entered Swift’s rooms, leaving the young lord to deal with the Tigron by himself. “Hey Cal,” Swift said smiling a little awkwardly.

“Swift!” Cal said as he looked up sporting a big smile. “You’re back, was Galhea still standing or did Cobweb redecorate it all?”

Swift rolled his eyes and laughed softly. “No, he didn’t force anyone to wear pastels.. Yet.”

“Good,” Cal grinned. “Come sit down and have some coffee.”

Swift walked over and sat down by the table, taking the cup of coffee that Cal poured him. “Seel left,” he stated before taking a sip of the hot liquid.

“I heard” Cal said as he searched Swift’s eyes for any emotions that might give him away. “I’m sorry,” he said softly.

“Yea,” Swift said as he looked away from Cal, turning his cup nervously between his fingers. “Where did he go?”

“Does it matter?” Cal said, tilting his head, looking at Swift as he turned his gaze back to him.

“Of course, it fucking matters! He is my chesna and Azriel’s hostling,” Swift spat.

“I hear you, but maybe you should leave him alone,” Cal said. “Maybe he wants to disappear.”

“But...but..” Swift stuttered.

“Alright, I am not going to lie to you” Cal said “I did speak to Seel before he left, and I do know where he is, but I’m not going to tell you.”

“Why?” Swift said blinking confused.

“You scared him,” Cal said.

“How? Because I wouldn't let him take all the good lands from the farmers and had it off to the estate of Forever! That’s just fucking ridiculous!” Swift sneered.

“No,” Cal said harshly. “He said that the last time you and he took aruna, he had felt such dark and hated within you that he had been afraid to ever touch the fabric of your mind again,” Cal smiled a little strange knowingly smile “I know what he thought was hatred is pride.”

Swift let out a little strangled sound. “I am not my father,” he finally whispered. “And I am not Cobweb either.”

“No you are Swift,” Cal said. “And continue being just that.” Swift frowned and Cal continued. “Its easier to be a pale shadow of your father, than to make something yourself, you have an entire tribe that sees you as Terzian’s son, but you need to show them you are Lord Swift, and that you are nohar’s son.”

“But what about Seel?” Swift said with a meek voice, knowing that Cal was right and there was no point in arguing with the other har.

“Seel is a blooming treehugger, he will come around, or he wont, but what does it matter? Do you even love him? I once thought I did, I thought I loved many hara, but later when I tasted real love, knew that I loved none of them, maybe it’s the same with you? Maybe Thiede’s magic stopped when he left this realm.”

“No..I” Swift breathed, shaking his head in denial, refusing to believe he had been manipulated that easily, but somehow he knew it was so, but he had been happy, ‘they’ had been happy. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” he finally whispered.

Cal smiled and poured Swift some more coffee. “Maybe you are not supposed to, your future is an open road and the sky is the limit kid.” He took a sip of his own cup looking awfully smug.

Swift took a sip of his coffee too, not really reassured or any wiser for all of Cal’s stupid clichés, but he did have a point, he was not Varr, he was not a warrior and he was not his father. On the other hand he was not the docile puppet that Seel wanted him to be, he was just Swift, he was all that or nothing at all. “So you want me to go back to Galhea and be Swift?” he shook his head in amusement.

“Indeed,” Cal said as he rubbed his nose. “Maybe you should solve your Parsic friends little problem first, that is a good a place to start as any.”

Swift nodded and downed the rest of his coffee, “You are right, but what about the negotiations and meetings, I will have to be here for them, I can’t just run off.”

“Meetings, smeetings...” Cal chuckled with a nonchalant hand making circles in the air. “I will take care of it for you,” he said. “You just return to Forever with the other Parsic hara, and do what you must.”

__________________________

Swift left Cal even more confused than he had entered, what was that about? Had he frightened Seel? He didn’t understand at all! And why had Seel just left their harling with him if he was such a freak? Or did this really mean that Seel thought that Az was as big a freak as Swift? It just didn’t make any sense, but he would do as Cal said, he would leave Seel alone, and maybe he would show up when he was done being offended.

He left his belongings at Phaonica, he saw no reason to take them with him, and they would properly be sent to Galhea anyway. And the other Parsic hara were only too happy to leave the Gelaming city. So, Swift set out on the long ride with five Gelaming soldiers and the Parsic party, towards the little settlement from where Radu and the others had come.

Swift thought it was nice to know that the animal under him was a normal horse, he would never get used to the Sedim, and even if this way would take them through many raider villages and would take weeks, it was still his favoured way of travelling. He couldn't help but worry about how Azriel felt, and just how angry and upset Cobweb would be with him once he made his way back to Forever, he had not been able to do what his hostling had wanted him to, and further more he had chosen Cal’s advise over Cobweb’s. Even if they had buried the hatchet, Swift knew his hostling better, he would never ever forget his once flaming hate for the other har, even if he had been entrusted Cal’s harling to raise as his own. Swift knew it was because Cal held no interest in Tyson what so ever, and he had a creeping suspicion that Cal would have left that poor thing with just about anyhar.

__________________________

Five days into the journey, they came to a little village. The leader of the Parsic party Radu argued that they needed rest, even if Swift wanted to ride on. Swift figured that Radu just wanted to be in a normal bed with the two other hara he seemed to keep, but had in the end agreed and had to admit that a normal bed sounded heavenly. They had paid for some rooms at the tavern and had eaten the soup they were offered till they thought they would burst. The party was somewhat silent since they all seemed to mind their words in front of Swift; it annoyed him to no end.

Radu excused himself early, followed by his two young hara. Swift shook his head amused and took a sip of his Sheh. Locking gaze with the har on the other side of the table, he knew who Hunter was now, Cobweb was right; it was absolutely unbelievable that he had not noticed at first, he should have recognized those eyes anywhere. Swift smiled friendly “You never told me your name,” he said addressing Hunter.

“My name is Keht,” he said with a little embarrassed smile that Swift to his own surprise found irresistible.

Swift was about to say that it was a very un-varrish name, but decided not to embarrass this poor har further. So he just nodded “I am Swift,” he said.

“I know that already, my lord,” Hunter said.

“Oh yes, I keep forgetting,” Swift lied, and then it went silent again. So much for pleasant conversation! “You are a very pretty har, do you have a chesna waiting for you back home in your settlement?” he asked, knowing he was taking a plunge off in the deep end, but he really wanted to speak with Hunter alone. And if the other Gleaming hara that were still left around the table thought that he invited this har to his bed, then no one would find it odd that he left alone with him. 

Hunter blushed as he noticed every hara around the table’s eyes on him. “No my lord,” he said softly.

Swift found him self smiling, and had to remind himself that this was pretence, but a part of him got all bothered and warm just looking at Hunters full lips. “Just call me Swift,” He said, holding out his cup of Sheh to toast with Hunter. For once he had the part that he was Terzian the varr’s son working for him, these Gelaming soldiers would believe he was capable of all kinds of depraved things, and didn’t even raise a brow that he was so openly flirting with this other har.

Hunter toasted with him and blushed even more.

Swift leaned in over the table and grabbed the har, whispering in his ear. “Come with me,” Hunter nodded and they both downed their drinks, Swift turned to the remaining hara at the table. “Good night,” he said turning and leaving the tavern with Hunter right behind him. Once outside Swift pulled the other har’s sleeve and pulled them far away from the tavern. “Finally I have a moment with you” he said as they stopped behind somehar’s chicken coop. “I remember you,” he just said, watching Hunter’s reaction closely.

“Oh,” Hunter just said as his smile faltered. “And then what now?” he said looking down at his own boots.

“Hunter, look at me” Swift said “I wanted to warn you, they will rally all remains of Fulminir and take them to a loathsome place, you must be very careful.”

Hunter looked up at Swift with wonder in his eyes .“You are not going to turn me in?”

“By Ag! No!” Swift said, wrapping his arms around Hunter, he turned his head and whispered “Do any of the other hara you travelled to Phaonica with, know who you are?”

Hunter nodded “Radu does, he was the one that escaped with me.””

“So are you close?” Swift said.

“No,” Hunter said, “Radu in all bewitched with the Gelaming, and he was the one that wanted to go to the Tigron for help.”

Swifts hands worked on their own, and slowly moved down Hunters back, “I will make it all alright, we are Parsic, not Gelaming, trust me,” he whispered with his lips brushing against the other har’s ear. “Be my queen, and I will be your king.”

“...Yes” Hunter whimpered as swifts warm lips touched his skin.

Swift pulled back a little, but only enough so he could finally lean in and taste those perfect lips of Hunter’s, the sharing of breath was full of dark strings and Hunter felt like he was being trapped in a sticky deadly spiders web, but he had tasted this essence before, and it did not frighten him anymore.

-tbc-