AN: A extra thanks for aeneus for helping me out with something in this chapter when i was at my wits end.
Betaed by; erestorjunkie
Rating: N17, or M+ for smex.
Summary: Tseng goes ahead and does something stupid.
Wrap my hurt in you
and took my shelter in that pain
the opiate of blame
Is you broken heart, your heart
Now I’m all by myself
as I’ve always felt
And Ill betray myself
to anyone, anyone but you
Smashing pumpkins - Soma
Chapter 5 - Fulfil a promise made of tears
As Reno returned to his apartment, he dialled up Tseng. Why the hell he called him? He didn’t know exactly, he tried to tell himself it was professional, but somehow a little nagging voice in the back of his mind told him that this was not the case; he needed to see Tseng, needed him to be here, and hear his deep rational voice explain to him how the world turned, in other words, he needed Tseng to ground him.
Tseng picked up as Reno made for his bar cabinet. “Tseng? I need you to come down here,” he said, not liking the pleading tone that snuck into his voice.
“What’s wrong?” Tseng mumbled sleepily on the other end.
“Just get here, ok?” Reno said, and hung up. As he poured his drink he couldn't help but think about why he had not called Rude, in the old days he would have called him to keep him company when his thoughts would get out of control. But for some reason he wouldn't quite acknowledge to himself he needed Tseng here, not Rude and not Cloud. Only Tseng.
Tseng was there ten minutes later, and let himself in. Reno smiled at the feeble attempt Tseng had made, trying to appear normal, and not like someone who had just laid down to sleep. “So? Where’s the fire?” Tseng asked, walking over to Reno by the bar cabinet, causally pouring himself a drink.
“Rufus took me to see Raiden,” Reno said more calmly than he would have thought he could. “And.. And.. He.. uhm, apparently needed new spare parts,” the last word was said with so much venom in his voice that he surprised himself.
“Spare parts?” Tseng said, looking utterly confused, “and what is that supposed to mean?”
“Imagine if you will, a car,” Reno started with an ironic tone, mimicking Rufus. But then he sighed and looked at Tseng, “They found a way to replace parts of him that he lost in the explosion with those from a corpse,” he said.
“A corpse?” Tseng looked mortified, and downed his drink, quickly pouring a new one.
“Yes, they replaced my brother’s goddamn arms with some dead guys, and the gods only know what else,” Reno whispered, “and I told him it was alright.” His voice wavered, until he took another deep drink from his glass.
Tseng just sat down in the armchair next to him, and sighed. “That is just, not right,” he shook his head. “The dead should remain dead, and the living die when it’s their time.”
Reno sighed, “are you getting all philosophical on me?”
Tseng’s expression hardened. “Remember what happened the last time Shinra tampered with the lifestream?” he shook his head again. “No, this cannot be good,”
“So what? I should go and unplug my brothers life support?” Reno hissed, pouring himself a drink, stepping in front of Tseng, and looking down at his partner. “Should I kill my brother, believing he’s not my brother anymore? Because he is Tseng, he is my brother, I saw his eyes, I know it’s still him,” when Tseng didn’t say anything Reno continued, “Do you have any siblings Tseng?”
“No,” Tseng said in a near whisper, “not anymore.”
The harsh expression on Reno’s face died down, and he sat down on the armrest of the chair where Tseng was sitting. “I can’t do it man, he is my brother. And maybe Rufus is right, maybe it really is a miracle, a man made one.”
“There’s no such thing as man made miracles,” Tseng offered softly, looking up at Reno. “And you know it.”
“No, I don’t,” Reno spat, the sudden outburst only made it sound like he was defending himself and not carrying on a conversation.
Tseng looked up at Reno and smiled. “Then you are a fool, Reno” he said softly.
“Maybe I am,” Reno sighed in a strange tone, maybe this was all just because he didn’t have the guts to call his mother and tell her that he had not taken care of Rai, and that because of his negligence they would have to bury their son, their prodigy. Or maybe it was because he really wanted to believe Rufus for more than one reason.
Reno and Tseng sat in silence for a long moment, until Reno reached in over Tseng to grab the bottle of liquor that was standing on the bar cabinet’s surface. It was a little further away than he thought, and his more than slight buzz resulted in that he suddenly lost his balance and slid down from the armrest, and unto Tseng’s lap. He snatched the bottle with a wicked grin, and poured his glass up to the brim, offering some to Tseng as well, but Tseng shook his head, looking at Reno with a mixture of bafflement and annoyance. And that was when Reno became painfully aware that he was indeed sitting in the other turk’s lap. “Uhm,” he mumbled, and smiled apologetically, but he didn’t move. This had not been a part of his plan, but he wasn’t going to complain, all those hidden looks he had given Tseng, all came back to him, and suddenly he moved, but he didn’t get off Tseng’s lap, instead he turned around, placing a knee on each side of Tseng’s legs, pinning him back in the soft arm chair. He downed his drink, as he looked down at the turk beneath him, “Do you want me to move?” Reno said softly, as he reached for Tseng’s jacket, unbuttoning the top button with nimble fingers.
Tseng’s voice got caught in his throat, and all he could do was look at Reno, and shake his head, because that was the truth, wasn’t it? He didn’t want Reno to climb down, and then what did that mean? He wasn’t gay; he shouldn’t care if there was a man on his lap, even if his voice was soft and sweet, and full of forbidden promise.
“So you thought about it too?” Reno purred, finishing off the last button on Tseng’s jacket, pushing the fabric away, and then starting with Tseng’s shirt. He gave Tseng a little mischievous smile, he could almost hear Tseng’s mind grind, trying to figure out why the hell he hadn’t pushed Reno down and left. Reno knew the truth that Tseng wanted to know, when a push came to a shove, Tseng really wanted to know what it felt like. And he sure as hell wasn’t going tp disappoint him. Reno leaned down and kissed the corner of Tseng’s mouth and whispered hotly, “I thought about it a lot.”
A little hesitant smile spread on Tseng’s face, feeling as Reno’s hands found their way in under his shirt, and he shrugged out of the fabric, leaving him with a bare chest. He looked up a the other man, not really knowing what to expect, but Reno didn’t look like he was kidding, he looked most like a slick predator, with a naughty grin on his lips, but Tseng’s fears still had his heart beating fast and he finally mumbled, “You’re drunk.”
“I’m not ‘that’ drunk,” Reno replied, as he pulled his own shirt over his head.
This relaxed Tseng somewhat, and as Reno leaned in and kissed him, he closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensation, it felt good, which actually shook him to the core, he had not thought that the hard willowy structure of another man, would ever feel so soft and sensual. There was absolutely nothing soft or curvy about Reno, like what Tseng preferred in women, but as he ran an almost timid hand down Reno’s back, and his hand met nothing but soft skin, a little fine line, told Tseng he had run his hand over a scar, a scar he knew was there, because he had seen Reno when he had been brought to the hospital back then, strange really, Cloud and Reno had given their everything in the attempt to kill one another, and still they had… Tseng willed the thought away, he didn’t want to think about Cloud, not when he had Reno breathing soft little puffs of air in his ear, while hem with an awkward move rid himself of his pants with one hand, and rested against Tseng and the back of the chair with the other arm. And Tseng’s hand could finish its journey, resting on the small of Reno’s back feeling a little intimidated to touch the more crucial places, those that would remind him that Reno was a man.
“Lift up,” Reno whispered as he gently bit Tseng’s earlobe. Catching on ,Tseng lifted his ass from the seat and with two pulls Reno managed to get Tseng’s pants half down. Purring as he felt Tseng’s naked skin against his, Reno couldn't help but to rub himself against Tseng, feeling the velvet texture of the other turk’s erection. He had not expected Tseng to be this hesitant in touching him, but that didn’t matter much now, they had gotten too far to turn back now. So he grabbed both his own and Tseng’s erections, and rubbed them gently together, eliciting a sweet little mewl from Tseng. So far so good, Reno thought to himself, and turned his head so he could kiss Tseng passionately, and whatever Reno had thought about Tseng not being a very helpful sex-partner, then his kiss gave him away, it was full of pent up lust, greedy and taking, making Reno so horny he thought he would loose it right there. Instead, he just ended the kiss, and as he looked Tseng deeply into his eyes, he raised his hand to his own lips, licking the finger tips, smiling as he saw Tseng go all cross-eyed watching, and hearing Tseng’s breathing speed up. Slowly Reno parted his lips and slid the fingers inside his mouth, sucking on them, making sure that they were covered in saliva. And as he pulled his fingers out he reached behind himself, and teased his own anus with the slick fingers, pressing the fingertips in slowly, that in turn produced goose bumps all over his body, and a needy soft moan from his own lips.
Tseng watched the display almost afraid to breathe, but as Reno looked at his with half lidded eyes, still preparing himself with his fingers, and whispered “fuck me,” Tseng wasn’t about to deny the man his wish, and he somehow got shaken out of his passive state, grabbing Reno’s hips firmly, waiting patiently as Reno adjusted himself, and then when he was in the right position he pushed down, watching as his erection disappeared slowly up inside the other turk. His gaze travelled from their joined bodies, to Reno’s face, he looked lost in bliss, only his eyebrows furrowed giving away that it might not be as comfortable for him, as it was for Tseng.
Reno grabbed a hold on Tseng’s shoulders, and as he was seated all the way down on Tseng’s lap he opened his eyes again. “You feel good,” he purred, and then he started to move.
Tseng fought for breath as the tight heat gripped him, like no woman had, and before he thought about what he as doing he leaned up and licked Reno’s nipple, biting the tissue gently. Pleasantly surprised as he heard Reno hiss and grip his shoulders tighter. He hadn’t known that, he had never thought about it, that men’s nipples would be sensitive as well.
Reno’s world was a swirl of different sensations, his body told him this was good, so very good, screaming for the rush of release, but his mind kept telling him that this was so wrong, he should not do this with Tseng. Tseng didn’t even fancy men, but for some reason seemed to humour Reno. And then there was Cloud, as Reno’s tension build, as he rode them both towards the sweet little death, images of Cloud flashed in his mind, like little unwelcome butterflies. Reno could feel his grip on Tseng’s shoulders slip, his hands slippery with sweat, he heard Tseng moan beneath him, finally giving in to his lust. Reno gasped softly as Tseng suddenly shifted under him, so he could thrust deeper and harder, “Gods, yes,” he heard his own voice gasp, before letting out a needy little mewl, sweet tension built up like a dull buzz, and he let go of Tseng’s shoulder with one hand, grabbing his own cock instead, trying his best to find Tseng’s rhythm as he stoke himself. So close, so damn close.
As his orgasm hit, it sent itself out to every nerve of his body like tiny pleasant jolts, making him tremble, “Oh yeah, kitten! ” he rambled, not hearing his own words for the pulse that drummed out all else.
Tseng breathing heavily, slowly coming down from his own climax as Reno slumped down, resting his forehead against his shoulder. “God damn it that was nice, Tseng,” he mumbled as he snickered, short of breath.
“Yes,” Tseng reluctantly whispered back, “it was.” what had been lust before, turned into alienation again, and suddenly Reno’s body was too heavy, and the fact that he could feel his own semen seep out and slowly pool onto his own inner thigh almost had him in a state of panic. He gently pushed Reno off him and stood from the chair stiffly, registering that Reno just rolled sideways in the chair, seating himself in the space that had held Tseng ust moments ago. “Let’s never do that again,” he said as he quickly pulled his pants up, from where they had been pooled around his feet.
“What?” Reno said, busy wiping off the sperm with his shirt, but stopped as he looked at Tseng.
“I said, let us never do that again,” Tseng said more calmly, efficiently hiding his inner war, he was not gay, and even if he had enjoyed this moment with Reno, it was just wrong, he should not have a sexual relationship with a work partner, and then on top of that a male co-worker.
Reno tossed the stained shirt and grabbed the bottle, sitting watching Tseng’s back, as his partner got dressed. “Are you wierding out on me Tseng?” he asked flatly.
Suddenly Tseng turned around and looked down at Reno, who sat naked sprawled in the chair, with his legs apart, cradling the bottle between his thighs. “I am not like you, I don’t take pleasure in men, Reno.. I don’t know what the hell just happened, but it sure as hell ain’t gonna happen again” he said, sounding more angry than he intended.
“Is that so?” Reno said, arching a eyebrow empathising his disbelief, “I seem to remember you had a fine time yourself .”
“Yes, well I have a fine time rubbing my dick in a rubber glove too,” Tseng spat.
“Get the fuck out of my home, man,” Reno said calmly, glaring at Tseng while he took a sip of the bottle, placing it between his thighs again.
Tseng didn’t reply, he just turned on his heels and left, cursing that it was a sliding door, so he didn’t even get the gratification of slamming it shut.
Reno groaned and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples trying to kill what he knew was the upcoming mother of all headaches. “You stupid fuck, Reno” he cursed himself, “You stupid fuck.”
_________________________________________________
-14 days later-
They had spent days and days avoiding each other with tight professional comments, or small nods, Reno had made a whole deal out of not touching Tseng at all, refusing to even hand his fellow turk his coffee directly, but placing it on a table, for Tseng to pick up.
This day they both stood outside Rufus’ office and waited, Rude was there as well, and so was Elena. Reno thought about what the hell this would mean, since all of them had been summoned. And as on cue, Rufus opened up the big doors to his office. “Enter,” he said, waking back to his desk.
The turks entered the room, and stood still like toy soldiers on a row, waiting for Rufus to speak. “I have asked you all here today, because I wanted to share something special with you, and it is something that regards you all” he smiled and walked from his desk and over to a door to a adjourning room. “Reno has been briefed on this issue, but none of you others has been involved” He opened the door, and the secretary rolled out a wheelchair, holding Raiden, who smiled a little uncomfortable to the four turks, who studied him as were they sizing him up. “Meet mister Raiden Vaughan” He said with a smile and took over the wheelchair from the secretary who closed the door again, leaving her outside Rufus’ office. “Reno, would you be so kind?” he said gesturing towards Reno, who smiled strained back.
“Yes, sir. Raiden is my older brother, sir,” he said, with an affirmative nod. Rufus smiled a bright smile, and Reno was sure the fucker took pride in having Reno standing defending Shinra’s little pet project. “Deadly wounded in the line of duty with the Midgar police, Shinra’s doctors preformed a procedure never tried before, attaching dead tissue to living, reanimating it to adapt to Raiden’s functional body, and with that restoring my brother fully functional, and not” he paused and looked at Raiden, “in a body bag, or as a cripple”
“Thank you Reno” Rufus said, congratulating himself on slipping Reno a note to memorize. “What Reno said is true, Raiden is now fully functional, as he was before the incident, if not improved” he turned to Raiden, “wave your hand, Raiden” he said, and Raiden slowly raised his hand and waved it slowly. “I am of course interested in Raiden’s future further recovery, since he needs more medical attention, and supervision” he turned his attention back to the turks. “and this is what I ask of you Rude and Elena” he said “Be helpful to Raiden, I have assigned him with an apartment on the same floor as you”
Rude cleared his throat. “Disability helpers?, but sir!”
Rufus walked away from Raiden and strode over to where Rude stood, stopping right in front of him. “Rude, I like successes, Raiden is a such, and I would like it if we kept this tight until he is well enough to work once more, I will not risk this very important discovery, do you understand?” Rufus half whispered, in a dangerous tone.
Rude nodded “yes sir” he said, he understood, Raiden was a secret still, and had to stay hidden and protected because Rufus himself didn’t quite know what this discovery would mean.