I hear that you’re building your little house deep in the desert

You’re living for nothing now,

I hope you’re keeping some kind of record.

And what can I tell you my brother, my killer

What can I possibly say?

I guess that I miss you,

I guess I forgive you

I’m glad you stood in my way.

Leonard Cohen – The famous blue raincoat

1. I guess that I miss you.

He was tired to the bone as he tossed himself on the cot in the room that he and his brother shared. It seemed silly that two grown men shared a little room, still complete with a teddy bear in the windowsill. But both he and Raiden had somehow ended up here. To Reno, this was little short of a declaration of failure, He had left here in anger when he was nothing but a big kid, and had never looked back, knowing he had caused them all grief, both his parents and Raiden who had stayed behind. None of them had any idea what had happened to him after he left here, he had never called, never written, he could just as well had been dead. And he had liked it that way, and yet he found himself here. Not only was he laying on the bed he had slept in as a kid, he used to work for the most powerful man on the planet, having his daily routine there, carrying out whatever Rufus would ask of him without asking questions.

Reno coughed and rolled on to his back, looking at his hands, they were covered in dirt and oil. His clothes from Midgar were neatly folded together with his cell phone and e-mag in the closet at the foot end of his bed. If this had not been so damn absurd he could have cried. He heard the door and looked up at his brother who leaned against the doorframe with a little knowing smile, “Dinner is ready,” he said.

“Wonderful,” Reno whined and sat up in the bed.

“And dad is home too,” Raiden said with a badly hidden chuckle.

“It just keeps getting better, donnit?” Reno growled and got up from the bed, and walked after Raiden down to the kitchen, their mother smiled as she carried a bowl of food and placed it at the middle of the dining table, and out of old habit, both Raiden and Reno started to set the table.

Moments later as they sat to ate, Raiden looked at Reno and said, “Oi, Reno. How come you put your cell away with the rest of your stuff?”

Reno looked up at his brother, with his mouth full of food and just shook his head, giving Raiden a deadly glare. But just as he had swallowed his food and was about to say something, the phone rang, and under much protest their dad got up to answer. The rest continued to eat, and then their dad came and sat down at the table. “It is for you Reno,” he said with a strange expression.

“Who is it?” Reno said, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“Don’t know, he didn’t introduce himself,” his father said, looking over at their mother.

Reno stood up and walked over to the phone, picking up the receiver. “Hello?” he said, turning his back to his family, who he knew were all trying to listen in.

“Reno?” a voice said at the other end.

“Yeah,” Reno said, leaning against the wall, twirling the phone cord between his fingers. “Tseng?”

“Yes,” Tseng said at the other end, “I finally found you.”

“You did,” Reno sighed, “..Why? Did Rufus?...”

“No he didn’t ask for you,” Tseng said knowing what Reno was asking, “But he hasn’t gotten a replacement either.”

Reno let out a breath he didn’t knew he had been holding. “So, why did you call?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I guess I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Tseng said.

“Liar,” Reno whispered, with a faint smile on his lips.

“Alright,” Tseng said, “Something has happened, and I need to speak with you, but we can’t discuss this over the phone.”

“Is Cloud alright?” Reno asked, all to aware that his sadness was apparent in his voice.

“I don’t know,” Tseng said. “Want me to check up on him?”

Reno could have screamed ‘yes’, but he just untwirled the phone cord from his fingers and whispered “no.”

“Alright then, I will be there in some days,” Tseng said and hung up.

Reno hung up too, and went back to the dinner table. The others were finished eating but still waited for him. “Old colleague from work,” Reno said, avoiding his father’s glare. “He just needed to know something, its nothing big.” His dad nodded, but clearly didn’t quite believe him.

Raiden looked at Reno and said “look why don’t we go to the pub tonight, huh? You need to get out man.”

“No, I..” Reno started, but then Raiden cut him off. “Come on Reno,” he whined.

“Alright,” Reno mumbled as he nodded, knowing all too well that his brother didn’t mean to go to the pub at all, but to the Tennant barracks, he could hear it in his voice, and he knew this old game of theirs.

____________________________________________________

After leaving the house they both walked down the street, Reno lit a cigarette, and kicked a stone. “I am not fighting for you Rai,” he said. “No fucking way.”

Raiden stopped and grabbed Reno’s shoulders and looked directly into Reno’s blue eyes that were identical to his own, “You had a brilliant career going for you here, you could have been Ox’s premium fighter, but instead you ran off to wherever,” Raiden took a deep breath “I understand you wanted to leave, but this is what you are good at man, you are not cut out to fix up peoples cars and bikes, or any of the stupid crap that you do for a living. You make fucking ten times as much one fight as you do from a weeks pay, and you know it.”

“Rai, you just don’t fucking get it, do you?” Reno growled, pushing his brother away from him, “I don’t want to fucking fight!”

“Chill, man, let’s just go there and have a drink and see what happens, ok?” Raiden said holding out his hands before he turned and started to walk down the pitch-black road. “So,” Raiden said after they had walked in silence for some time, “This Tseng dude you spoke on the phone to, is he your boyfriend?”

Reno groaned and shuttered due to the cold crisp air. “No,” he said firmly ,“he’s just an old colleague, and I’m pretty sure he wouldn't appreciate it if I rammed my big fat cock up his ass,” Reno rolled his eyes “Honestly Raiden, you are just so fucking clueless sometimes.”

“Yea well,” Raiden chuckled. “I will never know if I didn’t ask.” Raiden stopped and ran a hand through his black hair. “I know you had a hard time here, with all that.. you know.. romance thing.”

Reno stopped too and raised a brow “Romance thing?” he said, shaking his head in disbelief, “why are we suddenly discussing my non existent love life?”

“Well,” Raiden said, fiddling his sleeve “I just wondered, since you have looked so sad for so long,” he smiled and looked at his younger brother, “Yeah, I have noticed that look on you, I am your brother remember”?

Reno nodded “Yeah, I left someone behind,” he just said, not offering his brother more information, before he started to walk again.

“Reno,” Raiden said pleadingly as he ran after his brother.

“Look I don’t want to talk about it ok?” Reno sneered, “Lets just get to the damn bar.”

____________________________________________

Once at the Tennant barracks, Reno walked in after his brother, looking at the familiar and unfamiliar faces in the place. He could do this, if he could take on a goddamn half army by himself, then he could walk into a damn fight club. Raiden went to get them drinks and Reno sat down at a table, cracking his knuckles, listening to the meaty sound of fist meeting flesh and the roar of the crowd in the background. The music was loud, too loud to speak, but the sounds of the fight seemed to drown out everything else for Reno. “Here, your drink.” Raiden yelled over the music, and placed a large glass of something Reno couldn't tell what was, probably some homemade shit that would make you go blind and deaf. Just what he needed.

“Thanks,” he mouthed back to his brother, and took a massive swing of the liquid.

And after three such drinks, Raiden leaned in and yelled. “I’m gonna go watch the fight, wanna come?”

Reno nodded, he didn’t know why he nodded, he didn’t want to see the fight at all, all he wanted was to go home to Midgar and reclaim his life, instead of this lame excuse for it. But none the less he got up and walked after his brother to the fight in the back of the place. This was a big fight, Reno could tell, not only by the blackboard with the odds but also from the smell of the room, sweat, blood and anticipation. He moved closer to the little arena, made of what had once been supposed to be a swimming pool, but had never been filled with water, as these buildings had never become the hotel it should have been, the mine had run dry, and with that the people left, and then there was no use for any hotel in Undereast falls. And then it had ended its days being an arena for people bored or broke enough to fight each other for the amusement of others. Before it had been dog fights, or cock fights. But since neither animal was available anymore, they used whatever they had left, themselves.

Reno and Raiden pushed closer. Reno could feel his nausea rise as he approached the edge, looking down into the pit that had never ever been cleaned. He had fought many times down there, sliding in other fighter’s blood. He looked down at the two in the pit, seeing how they both prepared mentally for the fight. He recognized most of the faces here, nothing had really changed, and it was as time had stood still here. A brilliant career, ha! Sometimes he wished he could tell his brother what it was he really did for a living, but Rai wouldn't believe him, and he didn’t want to worry any of them. Reno had not noticed that Raiden had been gone at all, but he was suddenly handed another drink, drinking it slowly he watched the fighters who had begun circling each other, and then to the crowds amusement suddenly went at it, trashing each other.

The winner was the big guy with an ugly tattoo, Reno shook his head; this was fucking stupid. And he turned to leave when Raiden grabbed his arm, “You’re next,” he said with a little smile.

“What?” Reno snapped. “Fuck that man!”

“Come on, you can take that inbred retard down there,” Raiden said, pointing to the tattooed guy in the pit.

“So?” Reno growled “I told you, I am not fighting any one, not you, not him,” he pointed at a guy next to them, “and not Jethro down there.” Reno shook his head and pushed through the crowd.

“Reno!” Raiden called, running after his brother “I bet all my money on this”!

“Tuff tits,” Reno growled, pushing Raiden away.

“Reno man, the odds are 6 to 1,” Raiden said, “I will split with you.”

Reno lifted a brow, “fifty, fifty?”

“Yes!” Raiden almost cried. “Come on man, I will buy you three drinks, you down them and go beat the crap out of that wanker down in the pit.”

Reno looked at his brother with an annoyed glare. “Four” he said just to make his brother pay for putting him in this situation. Raiden nodded eagerly, and walked over to the bar after Reno.

Staring at the four large glasses in front of him, Reno took a deep breath, “I’m gonna get you for this,” he hissed to his brother, Reno knew all too well that he had asked for this, he had followed Raiden, and let him talk him into this ludicrous idea, not that he had opposed much really. Reno grabbed the fist glass and downed it in one drag, and the next, and the next, until all four glasses was empty. Standing at the bar looking off into nothing, he took off his jacket and handed it to his brother, while he lit a cigarette on a candle, “ok lets go” he mumbled and turned to go over to the pit again. It felt so surreal to descend the metal ladder again, he turned around and looked at his opponent, he was bigger than he had thought, but it didn’t matter much, he would take him out.

He heard the scorekeeper cry ‘fight’ and watched the other man in the pit intensely; how the fuck had he ended up here? It didn’t matter now, what did matter was when he had won this he would have enough money to drown it all out in alcohol. Reno waited patiently for the opponent to come to him, which he did, a smile spread on Reno’s face as he whirled around and kicked downwards on the other man’s knee with all his weight, hearing the sound of the large tattooed man’s knee splinter, he knew he had him down, twirling again, he placed his other kick at the opponents throat, sending the injured man several feet backwards and slamming into the pits wall with a loud sound. Looking down at the unconscious bleeding man, Reno smiled again, and looked arrogantly up at his brother, before he climbed up the ladder again.

Raiden looked completely dumbstruck, “Where the hell did you learn that?” he said.

“I seem to recall it was you who said that the only thing I was really good at was fighting,” Reno hissed as he walked after his brother over to the scorekeeper.

“Yeah, but still,” Raiden said, awestruck. Handing a note to the scorekeeper, and receive a large pile of money notes.

“Good fight,” The scorekeeper said, looking at Reno. “Next time, put on more of a show”

Reno just nodded and mumbled thanks, before he walked after his brother towards the bar.

____________________________

Later as they left the barracks, sharing a bottle of homebrew, dangling home, Raiden sat down in the side of the road to catch his breath and make the world stop spinning. And Reno sat down next to him reaching out for the bottle, “I married her you know,” Raiden suddenly said.

Reno giggled and shook his head, “Who?”

“That chick, Suz,” Raiden said.

Reno laughed softly, “Yeah, I remember that skank. Why the hell did you marry her?”

“I knocked her up, and well it was the right thing to do,” Raiden said with a little giggle and reached for the bottle, “doesn’t matter now tho, she lives with someone else and has like four kids or something.”

“Good for her,” Reno said, until he fully understood what Raiden said, “wait man,” he said, turning his head and looked at his brother “you have a kid?”

Raiden nodded, “I haven’t seen him since he was two, he doesn’t even know who I am anymore,” sighing before he took another sip of the bottle. “Rayne,” he said.

“That’s tuff man,” Reno said, getting caught up in the moment, he laid a hand on his brothers shoulder. “You need to get out of this town, go somewhere else and forget this damn place.”

Raiden nodded, “Was that what you did when you left?”

“Sorta,” Reno said softly, removing his hand from Raiden’s shoulder. “I always hated this fucking place, and all the people in it.”

“If you leave, take me with you,” Raiden said as he moved to stand up. “Don’t leave me behind here again.”

Reno knew he should refuse, but he nodded and whispered, “I promise.”

“Besides I fucked all the prostitutes here,” Raiden chuckled.

Reno laughed, amused as he too got to his feet, trailing after his brother down the road.

_______________________________________________________

I never thought that I would find myself
In bed amongst the stones
The columns are all men
Begging to crush me
No shapes sail on the dark deep lakes
And no flags wave me home
In the caves
All cats are grey

The cure – Faith.

2. No flags to wave me home.

Raiden and Reno sat on the back stairs of their parent’s house, sharing a bottle, looking at the sky. Raiden took a swag of the bottle and pulled a face “Gods Reno what is this shit?” he winced.

Reno laughed and took the bottle with a bandaged hand. “Dunno, some gut-rot,” he too took a swag and leaned back against the stairs, nestling the bottle between his legs. “And who cares? As long as it works its magic.”

Raiden shook his head, tenderly taking his brothers hand, turning it looking at it. “He mangled you pretty good, huh?”

Reno pulled his hand back with a quick move, and frowned. “Yeah,” he mumbled, clearly annoyed.

“Look all I’m saying is that we should have a doctor look at it,” Raiden said looking at his brother, clearly displeased with Reno’s choice.

Reno shook his head and reached for the bottle again, how the hell should he tell him that he had been injected with mako and gods knew what? That he would heal fine in a few days. But he didn’t get a chance to answer, as Raiden shielded the strong rays of the setting sun from his eyes, with his hand, and whispered, “What the fuck is that?”

Reno looked up, not seeing anything at first because the sun got in his eyes. Furrowing his brows he scanned the horizon, and then he saw it! A helicopter! “It’s a helicopter,” he said unable to hide his excitement, he leaned forward almost tilting the bottle.

“Looks like it’s coming this way,” Raiden stated.

“Shinra,” Reno whispered, recognising the helicopter, “its a fucking Shinra chopper.”

“Shinra?” Raiden gasped, “What the hell would they want here?”

“I don’t know, Rai,” Reno said, but as the helicopter turned to land on the big concrete field behind Reno and Raiden’s parent’s house. “I guess we’re about to find out,” Reno said with a little smile as he recognized Tseng as he stepped out of the machine. Reno grabbed the bottle and stood up, walking over towards the helicopter, sporting a giant grin, much to Raiden’s surprise, who reluctantly followed.

Tseng looked up and down Reno before he frowned. “You look like shit, Reno,” he said, referring to the bandages, the open wrinkled shirt and his bare feet.

“In case you didn’t notice, mister. I was just chillin with my brother, didn’t know there was a dress code for that, man,” Reno said taking a swig more of the bottle, inwardly amused at Tseng’s obvious disgust.

The two men stood and watched each other for a while, until Reno suddenly took a step forward and to everyone’s surprise wrapped his arms around Tseng’s neck and planted a big wet slobbery kiss on the other man’s lips. Tseng didn’t quite know what to do, was he just goofing about as always? Or? There was no reason that he would kiss him, was there?, so he just gently pushed Reno away and saw his dumb grin. “Asshole,” Tseng muttered under his breath. “Now go get your stuff, we’re leaving.”

“What?” Reno said suddenly looking sober again.

“I have been sent to bring you back home,” Tseng said with his best superior voice. “The holiday is over Reno,” he said trying to keep a stiff upper lip, “Now go get some shoes on, and do button that shirt,” he said loosing his battle against a slight smile as Reno sprinted into the house like hell was breaking loose. Tseng looked at the dark-haired man who stood a little further away. “So you’re his brother?” he said, thankful that the helicopter had stopped its rotating blades, and was silent.

“Yeah,” Raiden said with a little sulk. “I guess he’s leaving huh?”

Tseng nodded “yes.”

Raiden nodded as if he understood, but Tseng could tell from the man’s body language that he wasn’t pleased.

Reno came out from the house again, this time carrying all his clothes from Shinra and his cell phone and e-mag neatly placed on top of the file. “Ready,” he said, but then he suddenly remembered something and turned to Raiden. “Come,” he said with a nod towards the chopper that slowly started up again. “I told you I wouldn't leave you again, didn’t I?” Reno yelled, trying to drown out the roaring noise from the now ready chopper.

Raiden nodded, and with a little sly smile he ran to the chopper as Tseng and Reno got in.

“You don’t mind do you?” Reno said to Tseng. But Tseng just rolled his eyes and got up and seated himself next to the pilot, signalling the end of their conversation.

________________________________________________

As the chopper landed on the newly built Shinra tower, Reno, Raiden and Tseng got out. “I would have preferred that you had had time to change and bathe before I sent you to see Rufus, but he insisted to see you the second you landed.” Tseng explained as they left the roof and descended a metal staircase to the top floor of the building.

Reno nodded and turned to the silent Raiden. “Stay here with Tseng, I will be back in a jiffy,” he smiled, but Raiden could tell a real smile from a fake, and just nodded and mumbled an affirmative.

Reno went into Rufus’ new office, and Raiden stood there with Tseng, looking absolutely lost. “Come,” Tseng said, “I’m sure you can get some coffee off one of the employees.”

_____________________________

Reno took a deep breath, slipping on a mask of indifference as he put down the pile of clothes with his gear on top, on the secretary’s desk. “The boss asked for me,” he said smiling sweetly to the lady at the desk.

She looked up and a smile spread on her face as well.“ Reno,” she chuckled. “You can just go in,” and then she leaned on over the desk, motioning for Reno to bend down too, “He is in a really crappy mood though, so behave,” she whispered.

“Will do,” Reno whispered back, as he stood up and walked towards the big double doors into Rufus’ office. He knocked and waited before he decided to just turn the handle and go inside. “Boss?” He halfway whispered as he stepped inside the giant office.

Rufus was not behind his desk, and no answer came, so Reno stepped further into the office, closing the door gently behind him. “Boss?” he said again, this time louder.

“Reno,” a voice soft as silk said, and Reno spun around, only to see Rufus stand in the slide door opening to a vast balcony. “Good to see you,” he said, and then he too looked Reno up and down. “Rough holiday?” he said with a little sarcastic smile.

“Funny, sir.” Reno said with a half sigh, shifting his weight form his heels to his toes, waiting for the thrashing he would surely get.

“Reno,” Rufus said with a serious tone waking toward the waiting turk. “You have the right to a private life,” he mused, stopping inches from Reno, looking him straight into his eyes, and Reno fought to keep eye contact. “I don’t care for your preferences at all, be it favourite dish or brothel,” he waited to see if Reno had something to say, but Reno wisely kept his mouth shut. “But I do care for the Shinra corporation,” he crooked his head and waited.

“Yes, sir,” Reno said.

“I can’t have my most trusted employees suddenly acting up because of a fling” he spat. “Honestly Reno, I had thought you were more professional than that,” Reno suppressed the answer he had and just looked down at the floor, knowing that Rufus was right. “So, I decided to give you a second chance, because lets face it Reno, you are a valuable asset to this firm.”

“Thank you, sir,” Reno said flatly.

“So,” Rufus said finally walking away from Reno and to his desk. “I made sure you would have one of the apartments here in the tower, where I live as well.”

Reno could have groaned, so this was Rufus’ plan, to keep him close so he could monitor his daily comings and goings.

“That is most generous of you, sir.” Reno managed to say with conviction.

“Are you still seeing mister Strife?” Rufus said noting the little skittish jump that Reno made due to the question.

“Honestly I don’t know,” Reno said without turning his head and looking at Rufus.

“I see,” Rufus said with a cold voice as he opened a drawer and picked a plastic card out, he walked over to Reno and held it out to him. “Your key,” he said.

Reno took the keycard and looked up at Rufus. “Thank you, sir,” he said again.

“Tseng will show you to the floor,” Rufus said, “and I want to see you here again tomorrow, preferably groomed.”

“Yes, sir,” Reno said “But what about...” he started.

“Your belongings have already been brought there,” Rufus said, dismissing Reno with a wave of his hand.

“Alright,” Reno said as he turned to the door. “See you tomorrow, boss,” he mumbled as he left. The door slammed shut behind him, and he silently picked up his clothes from the secretary’s desk.

“That bad huh?” she said looking sad.

“Close man,” Reno said and hurried out of the office, only to run into Tseng and Raiden waiting outside. “So, I take it you are my guide,” he said flatly to Tseng.

“Come,” Tseng said and began to walk to the elevator, Reno and Raiden followed silently. They drove down to the 8’th floor, and got out, Tseng walked down the corridor and then finally stood still in front of a door with a little white sign that said ‘Reno – General Affairs Investigation Department’ Reno shook his head and ran the keycard through the slot left of the door. And the door slid up with a muffled ‘swoosh’.

They all stepped inside; Raiden stopped dead halt and gasped “holy crap!” looking around in the big apartment. Reno went straight to the window and looked out, “wonder what a view like this would cost ya” he mused.

Tseng looked a little uncomfortable, and turned to Raiden who was still baffled. “Would you go and make us some coffee?” Raiden nodded in a daze and went off to find the kitchen. Tseng walked over to Reno by the window, “So?” he asked.

“I’m on a leash,” Reno growled, resting his forehead against the cool glass. “Being kept here like some wayward pet.”

“I kinda knew you wouldn't like that,” Tseng said. “That’s why I didn’t tell you before.”

“So, do you know what’s in store for me tomorrow?” Reno said running a long finger over the glass he rested his forehead on.

“No, but I suspect that he will send you on some stupid mission,” Tseng said in all honesty.

Reno chuckled hollowly. “Yeah, rescuing cats out of trees or something, fetching him coffee.”

“Just step carefully Reno, okay?” Tseng said as he laid a hand on Reno’s shoulder.

“I wont fuck up again,” Reno said with a whisper.

“Good,” Tseng said, and removed his hand, and walking towards the door.

Just as Tseng walked out the door, Raiden came back with coffee. He put the tray down on a table and sat down, pouring himself a cup. “This is pretty fancy y’know.”

“Yeah,” Reno said turning away from the window and came over to his brother and sat down. “It’s pretty neat, I guess.”

“So you really work for Rufus Shinra?” Raiden said with a tiny voice, like he was embarrassed. “I would never have thought my bad mannered little brother would have such an important job.”

“Well, I do,” Reno said, taking a sip of his coffee. “What about you? You left your job back there.”

Raiden sighed and nodded. “Well, I am sure there’s a need for police officers here in Midgar as well.”

“Yeah, you are right,” Reno mumbled in reply.

Raiden reached over the table and pulled a cardboard box across the surface and looked down in it, it was full of new paper clips and pictures. “Who’s that?” he said picking up a picture of Cloud and Reno sitting in Tifa’s tavern.

“That is Cloud,” Reno said, taking the picture from his brother, smiling at he looked at the goofy look they both had, remembering that afternoon just fine.

“So.. is he?” Raiden asked with a wavering voice.

“Yeah,” Reno sighed and tossed the picture back in the box. He would worry about Cloud later, for now he needed to get Raiden off his hands, he didn’t need his brother to fuck everything up for him. “Tomorrow after I speak with the boss, you and I are going to find you a job,” he said, downing his coffee. Raiden nodded and yawned.

Reno stood up and looked around the flat. “Now where the hell is the bed?” he mumbled, and started to explore the place, and then he found the bedroom, it had a king size bed with a large window behind it, overlooking Midgar. Reno flopped down on the soft mattress and curled up, for a second he wished that anyone was laying beside him, just so he wouldn't feel so little and lonely, even Raiden would do. He would have to turn on his cell phone tomorrow and listen to the messages, not that he wanted to, he half-way knew what they would be, but he had meant it when he had told Tseng he wouldn't fuck this up, no matter what it took, and what sacrifices he would have to bring.

__________________________________________________

With the sunlight died and night above me

With a gun for a lover and a shot for the pain inside

You run for cover in the temple of love

You run for another it’s all the same

For the wind will blow and throw your walls aside

You run for cover in the temple of love

I shine like thunder, cry like rain

And the temple of love grows old and strong

But the wind blows stronger cold and long

And the temple of love will fall before this

Black winds call my name to you no more.

Sisters of mercy – Temple of love

3. The temple of love is falling down.

The next morning, as Reno left Rufus’ office, he felt like he was about to suffocate. Not only had he been planted here in the Shinra tower, but he was taken off his regular duties and had landed himself a month of janitorial work, Reno couldn't believe it! A bloody, bleeding janitor? Had anyone heard something that ridiculous?

He hoped that Rai had been more successful in his job hunting, with a sigh he pushed the key-card through the slot next to his door and it opened with a bleep. Reno walked inside and went straight to the dining table where his cell phone lay, it seemed like it was laughing at him, because he was such a wuss, but truth was he was scared shitless for turning it back on, he knew he had been wrong when he left, he had told himself at the time that he only did what Cloud had done before him, but that was not the truth. Cloud was known for his need to be solitary sometimes, Reno was absolutely not, and what he had done was just cowardly, not thoughtful, as he had told himself. Reno sat and looked at the phone, a little light blinked, telling him he had fifteen unanswered messages and twenty unanswered calls. Reno put the phone down and went to the kitchen, he would have something to drink if he was to call Cloud at all, or even worse, listen to those messages.

As he poured some liquor in a glass, he stood for a moment and looked out over Midgar, taking a careful sip of the strong liquid, why the hell had he run to begin with? Had it not just made everything worse? It was not like Rufus had asked him to leave Midgar; he had just said that he didn’t trust him as long as he chose to associate himself with Cloud Strife. Then why the hell had he run like there was a demon up his ass? Could it be that he was more afraid of not being a Turk, than not being Cloud’s lover? Reno shook his head and took his drink to the phone; he opened the glass door to the small balcony, and stepped outside in the air. He dialled Cloud’s number as he lit a cigarette. After the third beep, he figured that it would just switch on to the answering machine. But then he heard the static, and knew someone had picked up at the other end. “Cloud?” he whispered, not really knowing why the hell he whispered.

“Reno,” Cloud said coldly in the other end.

For a moment Reno didn’t say anything, he just took a sip of his drink, simply not knowing what to say, “Yeah, its me,” he almost added babe in the end of the sentence, but bit the word down, his mind raced, what the fuck was he supposed to say? Oh man, he had not thought this through before he had called after all, and then it seemed like his voice took over control, and he heard himself say, “How’s it hanging sport?” before he almost choked on his drink! Bollocks! He had not just called Cloud sport! And what kind of lame question was that? He could tell he was pissed off from his voice alone.

But there was no snappy comeback from Cloud who was just silent for a moment, and then suddenly hung up, leaving Reno standing on the balcony with flaming red cheeks, and a busy signal on the phone. Taking a deep breath he dialled Cloud’s number again, and to his surprise Cloud picked up once more, this would only have to mean that he cared just a little bit. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that,” Reno said, “I have never been any good with all that emotional shit.”

“You could have fooled me,” Cloud said eerily soft in the other end.

“I said I was sorry,” Reno said a little more irritated than he wanted to be, he knew he owed Cloud an apology, but he wasn’t about to grovel.

“Sure you did,” Cloud said in a strained motherly tone. “So, why did you call?”

“I.. uhm” Reno said, flickering the cigarette out over the balcony, watching it tumble towards the ground. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Cloud hissed, his voice rising an octave. “That’s just fucking priceless, even for you man.”

“Oi, you,” Reno snapped back. “Its not like I went on a fucking love cruise with the boss or whatever the fuck you imagine.”

First silence, and Reno could feel the phone radiating white glowing rage from the other end. “I’m hanging up,” Cloud said in a clipped tone.

No! No! This was all wrong, this phone conversation was not supposed to end like this! Apparently he had underestimated Cloud’s anger. “Wait, wait,” Reno quickly yelled into the phone, almost dropping his empty glass in a effort to reach out for something that was not there, if Cloud hung up there was really nothing he could do about it other than to dial up again. “Don’t hang up, Cloud,” he said more softly, in the second he realised that the phone had not been disconnected. “Can we try this conversation again, please?” he almost pleaded, as he lit himself another cigarette looking for something to do with his hands.

“The next thing that comes out of your mouth, better be some brilliant fucking Mark Twain shit, Reno,” Cloud said with a warning edge in the other end.

Reno took a deep breath. “I was with my parents,” he finally admitted, “I have just been on a family visit outside Midgar.”

Cloud laughed harshly in the other end. “You mean that people like you aren’t hatched? They are actually born?”

Reno thought for a long moment and then slowly said, “Hey, did you just call me a reptile?”

“No, I merely made an observation,” Cloud said still chuckling at his own wit.

“You did! You called me a damn lizard,” Reno grumbled, “Whatever man... its the truth” A deep voice spoke to Cloud in the back, and Reno could hear Cloud walk across gravel. “Where are you at?”

“Out,” Cloud said. “Like you actually fucking care where I am.”

Reno frowned, and had to remind himself that he had brought this on himself, he had been an idiot and therefore had ended up in the other end of Cloud’s very short scale for people he liked and people he definitely didn’t like. “When are you coming back to Midgar?” he asked sweetly.

“Don’t know,” Cloud said. “Why?”

“Because I thought we could perhaps meet and.. Uhm talk about it,” Reno said as he walked back inside to fill his glass again.

“Smooth, Reno,” Cloud said in a flat tone. “But, I am not meeting you anywhere.”

A distinctive beep was heard in the background, as a hatch closed “You’re aboard the Shera aren’t you, you fucker?” Reno spat.

“So what if I was?” Cloud yelled to drown out the rustle of chains in the background as something was fastened.

Reno tried to swallow his jealous pissy fit, and instead took a sip of his drink, the thought of not ever kissing Cloud again was bad enough, but he had simply not thought that someone else could take his space, not in a million years.

“What’s a matter Reno baby?” Cloud drawled in a poor imitation of Reno.

Reno could have kicked himself as he heard his own voice whisper “So you’re doing Cid now, huh?” in a venomously tone.

To Reno’s surprise Cloud didn’t just hang up but just said “No.”

Suddenly Reno started laughing, “You rehearsed this didn’t you, you little shit?” when Cloud didn’t answer, Reno continued in a more sober tone. “telling me off and all.”

“Maybe I did,” Cloud said on the other end, and judging from the rustle, Cloud just sat down. “And you fucking deserve it,” now it was Reno’s turn to be quiet, and Cloud spoke on, his voice getting more and more aggravated. “I didn’t know where the hell you went off to, all I knew was that you were gone, and then fucking Tseng came by to talk, did I ever tell you how much I hate being visited by Turks? I thought you fucking died Reno, I thought that fucker Rufus had.. had.. Gods I was an idiot.”

“I should have told you,” Reno said softly, “I really am very sorry.”

“It doesn’t matter now anyway,” Cloud said flatly. “I am far away from Midgar, and I am..” Cloud paused and then he delivered the deathblow. “I am seeing someone else now.”

“What?” Reno gasped, “You are.. What? When? I mean.. I thought that.. “

“Yea well maybe so did I once” Cloud said coldly. “But if you had listened to your voice messages you’d have known.”

“I.. I.. don’t know what to say” Reno said with a tiny voice, leaning against the balcony rail. Shutting his eyes tightly, trying his hardest not to give away any emotion in the phone. But the truth was that he felt like he had just been kicked in the stomach, and felt like he wanted to double over and barf.

“You have been gone for the better part of a year, Reno,” Cloud said as the rustle told Reno that he was now pacing the room.

“I know,” Reno said, trying to sound way more perky than he was. “Maybe its for the best and all.”

“Hmmhm” Cloud mumbled in agreement.

Reno didn’t know what to say, so he just flipped the phone shut, and ended the conversation. “Fuck,” he cried and hammered his fist through the glass window that was next to the door to the balcony. He had to sit down, he had to get out, he should just sleep.. And just maybe Cloud had just solved his problem, but right now Reno did not want it solved, all he wanted to was for the images of Cloud naked, moaning and sweaty to disappear from his inner eye.

____________________________________________

Morning found Reno slumped over his kitchen island table, drooling on his shirt. He groaned as he slowly opened his eyes, suddenly a eerie feeling settled like frost on his confused mind, had he talked to Tseng last night? He remembered a glimpse of Tseng pushing him away, and something with a table he had tossed over. Reno raised his head and looked over to the dining table, and sure enough it was turned over. “Crap,” he whispered to himself, and slowly got off the chair, at least he had his clothes on, so he couldn't have made a complete fool out of himself, whimpering as he looked at his watch, noticing that he had an hour before he had to check in with the damn janitor. And he still had to call Raiden, he must have gotten himself a hotel room or something since he hadn’t returned last night, or had he? Reno simply didn’t remember, and now he had lost count of number of spoons of coffee powder he had poured in the coffee, he poured back into the jar, and tried again. He was so lost in his own self-pity that he didn’t even hear the door open.

“Good morning sunshine,” a voice sing sang behind him.

“Rai,” Reno groaned, “Want coffee?”

“Sure thing,” Raiden said and sat down. “Holy shit you made a mess out of this place man.”

“Yeah, I noticed” Reno said, turning with the two cups, praying that he didn’t pour the freshly boiled water all over himself, he made it to the kitchen island and placed the cup in front of Raiden. “You are suspiciously chipper this morning, did you get laid or something?” he grumbled, in a lame attempt for a normal conversation, anything to not be reminded of the scene he had apparently caused the night before.

“I got a job,” Raiden said with a smile. “More than I can say about you.”

“Damn, that’s some cold shit right there man,” Reno said and made a futile mock swing at his brother.

“Well, your colleague mister Tseng told me that the Shinra Corporation would lease me an apartment until I could find something better, that’s awesome huh?”

“Yup,” Reno moaned pitifully as his headache struck with a thousand miles per hour, threatening to split his skull.

Raiden leaned in and smiled “You fancy that guy, Tseng, don’t you?” he whispered with a naughty grin.

“No, I don’t!” Reno growled mortified.

“Yeah, right” Raiden snickered. And stood up with his cup, fetching his jacket he had hung on the back of a chair. “’Reno and Tseng sitting in a tree,” he sang.

“Rai, stop!” Reno hissed out through his teeth, looking up at his brother with a deadly warning in his eyes.

“K.I.S.S.I.N.G.” Raiden continued to sing, as he suddenly made it for the door in a jump, as Reno failed to grab him, Raiden grinned. “Too slow, man.”

“Go away already,” Reno said in a childish tone as he slammed his forehead flat down on the kitchen island top.

“I’m gonna call you later m’kay?” Raiden said as he waved his goodbye and left.

Reno grabbed his phone and flipped it open, sure enough, he had called Tseng. He felt his cheeks heat up as a blush crept over his face, but how the hell had Raiden gotten here? Had Tseng called him? oh man... that was bad. Reno squealed like a girl as the phone suddenly rang as he sat with it in his hand. The incoming call was from Tseng, Reno was close to not answering, he might as well get it over with. “Yeah,” he said as he pushed the receiver button.

“Are you sober? You better be, Rufus wants you up here at his office,” Tseng said with a clinical voice. And Reno could only guess that he was either already at Rufus’ office or else he was standing in the secretary’s office.

“I’m sober man, I just had some coffee and all,” Reno groaned “But I thought I was supposed to go to the basement, and meet with that janitor bloke.”

“Change of plans, just get here, and get here fast,” Tseng said.

“As in ten minutes ago?” Reno asked confused, but he had already risen from his chair and was on his way to the door.

“Yes,” Tseng said and hung up.

“Crap,” Reno cursed again, this morning just went from bad to worse, and he ran to the lift, trying to make it to Rufus’ office as fast as possible.

___________________

As he came to the office he saw Tseng standing there with his arms crossed, tapping impatiently with his foot on the carpet. “Finally,” he just said “and you might want to do something with your hair first.”

“Oh,” Reno said, raking a hand through his unruly hair, “There, good as new,” he flashed Tseng what would have been a charming smile, if he had not looked like someone who had slept at his damn kitchen table all night.

Tseng opened the door to Rufus’ office and nodded as he saw Rufus sit behind his desk with his feet up, waiting. “Good morning, Sir,” he said stepping inside, followed by Reno who would still waited for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Good morning, Sir,” Reno said as well, coming to a halt next to Tseng.

“How good of you both to make it,” Rufus said sarcastically, and swung his long legs from the desk. “Well,” he looked from Tseng to Reno and back to Tseng again, and then rested his chin on his fingers, tapping his lip in thought. “The police seems to have themselves another psycho,” he said, studying the Turks. “And since you two did such a good job the last time, they looked to the Shinra corp. for help, and I intend to do just that, we could use some good PR.”

Reno studied his shoes, not able to look up at Rufus, he knew he had messed that whole ordeal up, and that it was Tseng’s doing they had even ever caught Nimrod at all.

“And so,” Rufus said calmly, secretly amused of Reno’s awkward reaction, he had deserved much worse, but he wanted to trust Reno like he had always done, he had a very hard time believing that a man he had known since he was a teenager would backstab him because of his overactive libido, and a little bit of blond oh’lala. “You’re it, I will take you off your regular duties here,” Rufus said as he opened an envelope pulling out two name tags, and tossed them across the table. “You know the drill, gentlemen” he stated with a flat voice.

Reno sighed as he and Tseng stepped closer to the desk, and picked up the stupid, tacky nametag saying, ‘Special Agent R. Vaughan’ he forced a small smile and said “Yes, thank you, Sir.”

Rufus leaned back in his chair and swung his legs back up on the desk. “Don’t forget who you are actually working for, or why you do this,” he said in a warning tone. “Reno,” he added.

“We won’t, thank you, Sir, we will go directly to the chief of police and check in,” Tseng said

“Perfect,” Rufus said, “I want a weekly report from you both, as long as this investigation runs.”

“Yes, Sir,” they both said, and with a wave they were dismissed. On his way from the office, Reno attached the nametag to his jacket, not really knowing if this was good or bad, at least he had a chance to show Rufus that he was loyal. But on the other hand, he would have to work with his goddamn brother, he wasn’t sure he would ever be mentally prepared to deal with Raiden on a daily basis.

____________________

As they sat in Tseng’s car, Reno reached over and turned on the radio, he felt trapped and awkward. But there was nothing in the ether. “Brings back memories huh?” he said opting for a little joking, hoping it would kill the tension in the car.

Tseng stopped midway in turning the key in the ignition, and turned and looked at Reno. “Did you mean what you said yesterday? Or were you just fucking around as always?”

Reno squirmed in his seat, he didn’t remember jack-shit of what he had said and done, and in the end Tseng was his friend and deserved the truth “I properly did, but I don’t remember, I mean.. I remember something with you pushing me, but I don’t remember calling you, I wouldn't have known if I hadn’t checked my phone.”

“Ah,” Tseng said and turned to look straightforward again. Turning the key in the ignition with a swift and angry move.

“Don’t be all pissed off man, its the truth. It would be a little easier if I knew what I had said, wouldn't it?” Reno said, instinctively searching for his cigarettes as if he knew that he didn’t really want to hear the answer.

“You wanted to do it again,” Tseng mumbled, barely audible over the roaring motor.

“What? Do what?” Reno rolled down the car window and flickered the ashes out. “Did I attack you or something crazy?”

“No” Tseng said his voice almost disappearing, “You.. uhm.. wanted to.. uhm..”

“Oh!” Reno whistled as a flash of memory resurfaced.

Tseng nodded tensely, holding the steering wheel in a death grip.

“I might have meant that, yeah,” Reno offered, “Look Tseng, I’m sorry if I offended you or something, it was not my intention, I honestly don’t remember my intention actually, but I don’t think I was jacking you around, at least I don’t recall that that was what I did.”

“hm” Tseng huffed with a stern nod, and then stepped on the speeder, ending the conversation efficiently as Reno lost his cigarette and had to search around under the car seat to fetch it.

_______________________________________________

You say that we've got nothing in common

No common ground to start from

And we're falling apart

You'll say the world has come between us

Our lives have come between us

But I know you just don't care.

And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?

She said, "I think I remember the film,

And as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it."

And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got."

Deep blue something – Breakfast at Tiffany’s

-1 week later-

Reno had to consider the possibility that Rufus had not been entirely honest in his reasons for sending Tseng and him to the Midgar police this time. PR sure, but it had to be much more than that, they had been briefed and worked as a part of the investigation team that was supposed to capture this guy who robbed stores and banks, he would probably would have robbed a morgue if he thought it held money. He struck randomly and violently, leaving many dead in his wake. But, Reno still found it odd that the police would ask for help from Shinra because of some strung out robber. However, they both did as they were told, they dutifully worked on the case, and Reno tried his hardest to forget all about Cloud or his growing attraction to Tseng, he didn’t even know where the hell it came from. But, he kept finding himself looking at his new partner, wondering if his skin would be just as soft as it looked, inwardly cursing himself for being drunk the only time he had had the chance to feel it.

This afternoon, the damn robber struck again, a bar close to Tifa’s. He and Tseng went there, Reno didn’t know if it was out of courtesy towards him that Tseng drove the long way around, not to drive past Tifa’s. As They arrived, there was nothing much left to do, the robber was gone, and the people in the bar had met their final moment in the form of a bullet, Reno stepped over a body of a young man, and into the middle of the room. “This guy’s got some issues man,” he grumbled, and raked a hand through his hair.

“He just wants to be known,” Tseng said dryly. “When he is caught, everyone will ask why, and wonder how such an apparently nice guy could be responsible for such massive massacres of innocent people, and maybe he will answer or he will keep quiet, whatever he dose, his name will be in every newspaper and in every household, if he’s lucky he will even get some nickname, like the ‘blood-red killer’ or whatever.”

“Thank you so much for the profiling, Tseng,” Reno mumbled as he shook his head. “I don’t care what the hell he wants, I just want this fucking over and done with, I am tired of chasing this guy, and I don’t care if he turns out to be Satan himself man, I want him caught, booked and processed.”

“You have to catch him first,” Tseng remarked, stating the obvious, as he pushed a corpse with his newly polished shoe, rolling it over, so he could see that this had been a woman, twenty tops. “I don’t think there is much we can do except pick up bullet casings.”

Reno sighed. “Leave that to the police,” he said as he brushed past Tseng and out into the air again, Reno looked up at the sky, and heavy grey clouds were hanging over their heads, “Don’t tell me it is going to rain again,” he whispered, “I have a report to write man, let’s just go,” he yelled to Tseng, who just in that moment emerged from the bar.

“You’re right,” Tseng said and walked after Reno to the car. Suddenly Reno’s phone rang, he looked at the caller ID, it was the dispatch, and in the moment he pushed the receiver button, the sky gave in and the rain poured down. Both Tseng and Reno got into the car quickly as the dispatch woman explained to him that the chief of police wanted to speak with him, and that she’d patch him through.

Sitting in the car, Reno listened to the little click in the phone as the line was transferred to another telephone, and to the sound of the rain drumming on the car. “Mister Vaughan?” a deep voice said.

“Yes,” Reno said, lighting a cigarette as he glared over at Tseng who frowned, hating smoking in his car. “I was informed that officer .. uhm... Raiden Vaughan is a relative of yours,” the voice said flatly.

“Yes, He’s my brother,” Reno said, feeling a slight chill by the sound of the police chiefs voice, and he wondered if that should turn out to be a problem, if Raiden would loose his job now, he didn’t really know what the policy was on family in the Midgar police.

“Then I’m very sorry mister Vaughan, but it seems like your brother has been in an accident and...” the chief of police didn’t even get to finish his sentence before Reno yelled “what? Accident? Where? How?”

“Earlier today, there was a squad sent out to a possible terrorist threat, and your brother was one of them, I am most sorry, I offer my condolences mister Vaughan, but.. Your brother tried to disarm the bomb, and didn’t succeed,” the police chief said.

“No..” Reno whispered, there was a ton of things he wanted to know, like why the hell Rai had been sent to disarm a bomb, he did not have any prior experience with bombs, why had they not called in a bomb technician? But right now there was only one question there was important really “Where is he?” Reno said with a thick voice.

“Your colleagues from Shinra came and collected him, mister Vaughan.”

“What?” Reno spat.

“Your Coll..”

“I heard you the first time man.. “ Reno groaned as he hung up the phone and looked at Tseng, “My brother, he.. I have to talk to Rufus.” When Tseng looked confused, Reno screamed “NOW!” and without thinking Tseng just started the car and stepped on the gas, driving like a mad man to the Shinra tower.

Outside the tower Tseng parked but before Reno could open the door and leave the car, Tseng grabbed his arm and pushed him back in the seat. “Reno,” he said insisting, “Before you go and make a complete idiot out of yourself, I suggest you relax for a second and tell me what this is all about.”

Reno glared up at Tseng with murder in his eyes, but Tseng just looked at him with his very rare compassionate expression, Reno sighed and relaxed in the seat. “I need a fag, man,” he whispered. But Tseng didn’t really reply, nor did he move away, Reno could feel Tseng’s breath on his skin, but it didn’t excite him the least, instead it just made his eyes fill with tears he didn’t want to shed, why the hell had he been crying so much lately? He never cried! “Raiden,” he finally said “He had been sent to disarm some bomb,” he turned his head and looked directly into Tseng’s brown eyes “What was he doing there? Can you tell me that? What the hell was my brother doing disarming a fucking bomb? He had never dealt with anything worse than stopping a fight in the bar back home,” Reno searched his pocket and found his cigarettes, Tseng moved back into his own seat, but kept one hand firmly clutched around Reno’s left arm. As if he was still afraid that Reno would run into Rufus’s office screaming like a mad man.

“No, I don’t know why,” he said softly.